Thinkalot Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hi there. Living in the moment is something which doesnt always come easily to me. I am either obsessing about the past, or worrying about the future. As part of my treatment in overcoming OCD, I am consistently being told by my psych to meditate, and then, when doing daily things, force myself to focus on the present moment, almost to the extreme. For example, when walking on the beach, instead of thinking thinking ..I should focus on how the sand feels beneath my feet, how the wind feels, what the sky looks like etc. Next thing you know, I am simply enjoying my walk! Nothing else. No obsessing, no worrying. It takes work for me, but it is so liberating. I also have a little affirmation I say "I will make this day be the best it can be". It reminds me to live in the present, and enjoy it...rather than wasting it. I have lost so many moments, because I wasnt really in them. I was worrying or obsessing about something. My fiance and I have also developed a little saying, to help ensure we dont take things, or each other for granted, and of course, to help me. We simply say to each other, "Aren't we lucky?"...and the other says "yep, we are SO lucky". And then we are thinking about the special moment we are sharing, or the beautiful place we are at etc. I still do obsess about the past sometimes. I still do ask my fiance questions about his past (the usual focus of my obsessions) and feel anxious. But nowhere near as often. Life is more rewarding now too. And I am still off my medication and achieving results. I just thought I'd share. Focussing on the moment, and physical sensations is really helping me along. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Thank you for sharing this. I might try it. I am not obsessed with my past, but live constantly in my future (except when I am enjoying myself) and live in fear that something terrible might happen to my children or mom or me. However, all these thoughts go away when I feel happy at a given moment. As soon as I stay alone with my thoughts they might come back. Most of the time I am thinking about good things though and they keep me alive. Things like posting here, reading or watching TV make me relax and forget about anything that's bad in my life. I will try your advice - concentrate on the moment and enjoy it physically. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Great to hear you're doing better, Thinkalot I'm really a fan of living in the moment; a little hedonism never hurt anyone Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 That's such great news, Thinkalot! I'll get you in touch with my girlfriend so you can give her lessons. She doesn't even realize she obsesses about stuff. She's not happy unless she's worrying about stuff. And she's hardly ever "in the moment" like you describe it. And without your medications, even. I'm proud of you for being so brave. You're earning the respect you deserve. On your wedding day I'll have a drink to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Thanks all! Only a month to go now Johan, and you can have that drink It really is a radical change for me to try and not think about the past or the future, or analyse something. Therefore, like I said, it takes a bit of vigilance on my part, and I do slip up from time to time. Sometimes though, i feel myself ready to ask a question, and then I think, "we are having a lovely time right now...does it really matter if I know that or not? will it make my fiance angry and tense?" usually the answers are , no, and then yes, to those questions. It helps me stop myself. Plus, if I am truly living life, then the actual experience I am having takes up most of my thoughts anyway. Johan, I know what it is to be like your girlfriend...some days, and in some ways , that is still how I am...worrying etc. But I am certainly on the path of change, and it feels good. Just think how hard it must be to BE her...it's tiring to be thinking so much, believe me. I used to sometimes get distracted during sex even...it's hard to enjoy it, when you keep thinking of other dumb stuff....now though, i focus on what's happening and simply enjoy it. It's also a leap of faith I guess. I can admit, this morning I did slip up and asked about something in the past. I got anxious about my fiance's views on something important, and thought of old fights we'd had about the same thing. So i brought it up for confirmation and reassurance. he got tense. Now, if I had simply trusted that things are fine NOW, I would not have needed to say anything. SO, most of the time, instead of asking something, I say to myself "he's here..he loves me, he wants to marry me! what more reassurance do I need?". It puts it in perspective for me. And, because I am trying so hard not to slip up, very quickly this morning, I went to him, and said "sorry, that wasnt fair, I love you, I just slipped and got a bit anxious". He felt better. he felt I realised and understood. In the past, odds are, I would have simply kept asking questions I also then went for a walk on my own. There was a light breeze, the waves were crashing loudly, gulls were crying out overhead, the sand grit felt nice under my feat, and the sun sometimes shone through a break in the clouds. My body felt good to be working and moving, and I could smell the salt in the air. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 I know and understand exacty! Me being an anxiety sufferer, (doing CBT weekly for a year now) I have slowly learned to LIVE in the now and not think so far in the future...I still do worry but my thought patterns are more positive and I can control them better. I find what you said very inspiring to me and all of it makes so much sense. Thanks for posting your thoughts. I like knowing what others go through and how they've dealt with it all. I try to take it in and apply into my own life and learn more about me and how I can get myself to be even stronger when dealing with my own personal issues....Fear fear and more fear. A year ago or so I couldn't think about anything without flippin' out or having an anxiety attack. Sometimes the thought of heading to do some banking by myself would freak me out so bad I'd either not go or have to drag somebody with me. Now I can freely go when I need to go and not stress about it! Little things with anxiety disorders tend to be blown totally out of proportion and made into bigger things...ALL of it comes from the MIND. Mind control is the key. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 oh I hear you! I am so pleased for you that you have come such a long way! way to go our minds are so powerful! they really can control how we see, and live life. So if we control them, instead of them controlling us, we are doing so much better! Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 This is the same dissociation you tried before, letting the obsessive thoughts come and go without disturbing the present. It's one of the trickiest techniques to master but most find it the most effective. I sounds as if, by finding ways of concentrating more on the moment, it's working for you too. Are you sure it isn't the chocolate that's making the difference, Thinkalot Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 I definitely need to try this..focusing extremely on the present moment...maybe it will help my anxiety. It can maybe help me stop thinking, and analyzing, and obsessing of what I did, doing and going to do. Funny thing I was just complaining to my dad how we both suffer from CSOBO pronounced (K-sobo) meaning Can't Shut Our Brain Off. It really sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Originally posted by EC Funny thing I was just complaining to my dad how we both suffer from CSOBO pronounced (K-sobo) meaning Can't Shut Our Brain Off. It really sucks. My Dad and I both suffer CSOBO too Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 oh I hear you! I am so pleased for you that you have come such a long way! way to go Thanks! I do mostly have good days, but when I do have those rough days that is when I really have to try so hard not to let my mind have those thoughts. It's hard to do especially when I'm sick or getting my period. Those days I try to just accept as bad days and try to not put myself in situations where I know I'll react to and then have anxiety to deal with. our minds are so powerful! they really can control how we see, and live life. So if we control them, instead of them controlling us, we are doing so much better! That is so true! Funny thing I was just complaining to my dad how we both suffer from CSOBO pronounced (K-sobo) meaning Can't Shut Our Brain Off. It really sucks. Try yoga and deep breathing. I really find that helps me alot and definately can make me focus on other things than those running thoughts in my head. Especially at night...Though I usually have the TV on to fall asleep to. Drives my husband NUTS but he knows it helps me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 I also find that sport and activity is a great release. I get so engaged in what I am doing, that other thoughts automatically leave. So when I am surfing, or doing my dancing lessons or running or whatever, I do get some greater freedom...and it comes more easily. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Definately! Distraction is one of the best ways of getting through it. I'm quite lazy, which is why I do the yoga and sometimes meditation. Maybe once the nicer weather hits I will walk more. I DO put on loud music and dance to it. Sounds dumb but sometimes it gets me out of that yuk funk feeling and makes me feel alot better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 it does doesn't it! sometimes I dance around the loungeroom myself exercise I guess apart from distracting, actually gets the happy chemicals going in your brain too Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I could have used some distractions yesterday...I actually needed to vent abit yesterday but my luck LS was down more than half the day! Had a nasty weather migraine and unfortunately allowed my thoughts to get the best of me. Yup, got real nice and negative too. I cried with the rain, I cried in the shower, I cried in bed. Partially because of the pains in my head wouldn't stop - But also just felt really down in general. Ever been sick of yourself? I feel I need a holiday from ME! Problem is I don't get on planes (Clausterphobic and the anxiety stops me) and I definately don't travel well in the car long distance. I'm stuck. I hate feeling stuck. March SUCKED! Had Feb blah's in March. Everything sucked, relationship with my husband, cysts in my ovaries were bad and painful, my mom and I were not getting along great either. My Bestfriend had a miscarriage and I was trying to be there for her as much as possible, ahhh, the list goes on...My daily struggles and realizing now after such a long crappy winter that some nice agrophobia has set in once again! It's a real push everyday to make myself GET OUT of the house and not feel scared of living. FRICKKKK, I just want to live a normal life again. To not feel scared of living! I want to enjoy it all again and be truely happy again. My goal is to get there...Figure I'm more than halfway - Just can't give in to the yuk thoughts and feelings on those low days. Thanks for the mini rant, needed it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted April 4, 2005 Author Share Posted April 4, 2005 hang in there.... april is a whole new months! we all have the slumps, but we also have the peaks to celebrate too Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Thanks... Yup it's a new month, a new season (if it ever stops snowing here in Toronto!!) and also time for me to get a haircut! That should help too! I think it was just a really long winter and all of the crap in my life has caught up to me. Supposed to be about 15 degrees on Wednesday so that will be amazing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted April 4, 2005 Author Share Posted April 4, 2005 it's so funny hearing you talk about the weather. Having lived in canada (mostly on the warmer west coast, with a short stay at st catharines in ontario) I know what you mean...but here in Australia, it's soo mild in our winters (in most places anyway). Our winter temps are like your summer temps sometimes! Its autumn here, and most days are still about 20-25 degrees celcius Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 That's cool though...Just weird that you have Christmas and it's summer. Would be neat to have New Years Eve in the summer though. Going to parties and getting around the City would be SO much easier! Never been to the West Coast, some day I shall go...I wanna hit those Hot Springs and fresh air! Link to post Share on other sites
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