Ex is engaged

[BC1980]

Awesome!! You are so kind.

 

You're right though. I'm feeling pretty bad right now. No matter how despicable he is, I never thought he would discard and replace me in the manner in which he did. To know that he has barely missed a beat while I've been hanging on for dear life this past year. I guess it's still hard to have all those suspicions confirmed. It's one thing to feel that it's true but to actually see the hard evidence. I'm done snooping, and I only did it to establish the timeline anyway. I don't regret finding that out.

 

I'm eternally relieved and grateful that I still have no romantic feelings towards him. Those have long since vanished, never to return. But it pains me to think back on our memories and realize it was half baked. You know, he never deserved half if what I had to give, but it's hard to come to terms with the deceit, lack of empathy, the manipulation.

 

I'm wondering what everyone thinks about my current working situation as well. As far as the new (or old possibly) woman, I haven't a clue who she is. I was given a name, but it's a big hospital. I've never seen this person and maybe never will. But I'll obviously have to run into him at various points. I've had to talk to him 3 times in 4 months, which will probably be about average. Quick interactions. I guess the emotional toll of this is TBD. I do know that most people feel for me and support me. At least those in my immediate circle. They have stood behind me, and it's been touching.

 

I sincerely thank everyone for keeping up. This is not a thread that I ever thought I would have to create, but, from the bottom of my heart, I thank everyone for their advice and support.

Edited January 5, 2015 by BC1980

[FancyFace]

Well done on your progress BC! Considering what you went through, it must feel amazing to be at the point that you are at now. I hope to get there one day, I am only 7 weeks into NC with a Narc ex and I feel the pain in my throat almost every minute of every day. I work in a 17 storey building, if it were me finding out, I would have gone right to the top and just flung myself off of it LOL.

 

Continue on with the hard work of healing yourself and I hope and pray that when the time is right, you will be on this thread again announcing your engagement to a man who loves and adores you and most of all, a man who truly deserves you.

[BC1980]

Well done on your progress BC! Considering what you went through, it must feel amazing to be at the point that you are at now. I hope to get there one day, I am only 7 weeks into NC with a Narc ex and I feel the pain in my throat almost every minute of every day. I work in a 17 storey building, if it were me finding out, I would have gone right to the top and just flung myself off of it LOL.

 

Continue on with the hard work of healing yourself and I hope and pray that when the time is right, you will be on this thread again announcing your engagement to a man who loves and adores you and most of all, a man who truly deserves you.

 

I completely empathize with everything that you are feeling. When my ex dumped me, I literally felt like I ceased to exist without him. He had beaten my self-esteem so far down that I felt I couldn't function without him. I felt I had nothing to offer anyone if he didn't choose me and love me. Yes, it was that bad, and it wasn't until I began NC that I even realized how bad off I was.

 

Even today, there are times when I have to remind myself just how bad the relationship was. Because I still have that tendency to want to doubt my experiences and what I know to be true. That's how these abusers/narcs/sociopaths/unavailables work. They get you so confused and twisted that you no longer trust your gut instinct to run for the hills. They have you constantly doubting yourself because they are so good at manipulation. So even when you are out of the relationship, you will go back and forth, asking yourself "Was it really that bad? Maybe it was just me? Maybe I'm blowing all of this out of proportion, and I'm just too sensitive?" Trust yourself and your instincts. It really was that bad.

 

I can't tell you how many times I had to remind myself that my experiences with my ex were valuable, in that I knew what kind of person he was. I knew how he made me feel. I didn't matter what anyone else felt because I had been with him in a different way, and my experiences were valid. Besides his first wife, no one else knew him like I did. I was around when he wasn't putting on a show to curry up favor. You see, that's also how these people confuse you. They are usually seen as pillars of the community, people in power. My ex was a doctor, he donated a lot to charity, and would probably give you the shirt off his back. But I knew the truth. I knew that those were superficial acts that he did with little feeling and mostly for others to see and applaud his efforts.

 

I would also warn you that it's easy to fall into the trap of remembering the good things about him. I guess everyone has some good stuff about them right? My ex could be so very charming. Telling me I was beautiful, I was a good cook, I was such a good mom to his son, ect. But then he would change into this person who berate me and make me feel uneasy about his commitment. Blowing hot and cold. Don't fall for the good guy act. These people are con artists and are highly skilled and saying the right things keep you on the hook. I'm sure my ex meant some of what he said to me, but I think he only wanted me around for what I could do for him. He wanted me around for how good I could make him look. The social status of being married, the person he could brag about to other people. It's not because they truly love you for the person you are. Trust me when I say that their "love" or version of love has little to do with your intrinsic value as a person. People are objects to him, and that's why they can move very quickly to the next one, often cheating. My ex's new fiance is a 2.0 version of his first wife in a lot of creepy ways. I'm not going to share too much on here, but it frightened me when I saw her picture, among other thing. I thought, holy h*ll, he has found a better version of his first wife and is probably shaping her into some doll to be paraded around and shown off.

 

Anyway, let our exes have their new lives, and be glad we aren't in them anymore. Be glad you can be yourself now without fear. I don't ever have to put up with someone berating me and making me feel that I'm not worthy. I'm free of all of that, and it feels great. I still occasionally have to remind myself of how crazy he was/still probably is Even now, he still has some power to get to me at weak moments. Immediately push those thoughts out, and don't give them any leg room in your mind. Those thoughts are not the truth by a long shot. Everyday, you need to tell yourself that your insight into the relationship is valid and that you know what happened. Do good stuff for yourself that you couldn't do with your ex. Please have empathy for yourself, and see a counselor is necessary. Allow yourself the time to grieve this loss. Sending hugs your way.

Edited January 5, 2015 by BC1980

[FancyFace]

Thank you for your kind words BC. At a time like this I feel so isolated and alone, especially when I try reach out to friends and family who seem to think I am just paranoid and just over exaggerating.

 

The thing about this exN is he was so insidious that I am even starting to doubt my own version of events. He was so lovely, so sweet to me but it seemed like I always ended up paying for it dearly in the end. I had just come out of a physically and emotionally abusive relationship when I met him, so the fact that he didn't hit me, appeared faithful and caring threw me off, I thought I had met my soulmate. Even in conversations with my therapist, I would leave things out thinking I was exaggerating or had caused the issue or misinterpreted what was going on. I feel crazy right now, so crazy and so paranoid but deep down I know the truth that this man never loved me and used me until I was no longer worth his time.

 

I feel degraded, used, defeated, useless and totally to blame. I just wake up every day hoping the pain has subsided and everyday it still pierces every fibre of my being. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.

 

To those of you struggling out there, sending you love and light. I pray for all our wounds to be healed.

 

PS sorry for the tangent, I have nowhere else to turn.

[BC1980]

Thank you for your kind words BC. At a time like this I feel so isolated and alone, especially when I try reach out to friends and family who seem to think I am just paranoid and just over exaggerating.

 

The thing about this exN is he was so insidious that I am even starting to doubt my own version of events. He was so lovely, so sweet to me but it seemed like I always ended up paying for it dearly in the end. I had just come out of a physically and emotionally abusive relationship when I met him, so the fact that he didn't hit me, appeared faithful and caring threw me off, I thought I had met my soulmate. Even in conversations with my therapist, I would leave things out thinking I was exaggerating or had caused the issue or misinterpreted what was going on. I feel crazy right now, so crazy and so paranoid but deep down I know the truth that this man never loved me and used me until I was no longer worth his time.

I feel degraded, used, defeated, useless and totally to blame. I just wake up every day hoping the pain has subsided and everyday it still pierces every fibre of my being. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.

 

To those of you struggling out there, sending you love and light. I pray for all our wounds to be healed.

 

PS sorry for the tangent, I have nowhere else to turn.

 

They are masters at making you doubt your version of events. If you read back over my first threads here, I was completely delusional. I didn't communicate half of how bad it was because I was in such denial. I was also really embarrassed about how I had allowed him to treat me. I also didn't want what I had feared for years to be true. I wanted the relationship to be the fairytale I had made it out to be in my mind. They invalidate your feelings on a regular basis, and it conditions you to invalidate your own feelings. I was constantly pushing away my needs and feelings to appease him. I was scared of saying or doing anything that might cause him to judge me unworthy. Now is the time to start validating what you know to be true. Your experiences and feelings are worthy of consideration, even though you've been conditioned to believe otherwise.

 

The blame I can very much empathize with. After it ended, I blamed myself 100%. He conditioned me to feel that I need to change to be worthy of his affection. So I viewed it as a failure that I was unable to change to fit his mold. Again, you've been conditioned to invalidate your feelings, so you buy into his version of events. Don't play the blame game because it's irrelevant. The important thing is that the entire relationship was dysfunctional, so it needed to end regardless of any fault for each party.

 

It's almost like an addiction. They get you addicted to their crumbs, and you need to stay in line to get the positive feedback. When they cut you off at the knees, you are left wondering in the desert. You've long since stopped relying on yourself for any positive validation and feedback, so there is nothing to draw from. If you do positive things for yourself and build up your self-esteem, you will come back from this. I'm not saying it's easy, and it's certainly not a quick fix. But you can move on from this relationship and redefine yourself.

[me85]

BC, it's really amazing how similar our stories are. A few weeks ago I unblocked my ex in a drunken stooper and was able to see a few things. Such as how my suspicions were also confirmed regarding how when he met his current gf. He in fact met her and started talking to her while we were still seeing each other, on Jan 1st 2014. I'm sure he will marry this girl. Even though he's been unfaithful to her with me the entire time they've been together. It all just turns my stomach. Isn't it funny how confirmation of our suspicions about them and their deceitful ways is so freeing for us yet so hurtful for us, both at the same time?

 

I hope you really are ok. I'm here if you ever want to chat in messenger.

Edited January 5, 2015 by me85

[BC1980]

BC, it's really amazing how similar our stories are. A few weeks ago I unblocked my ex in a drunken stooper and was able to see a few things. Such as how my suspicions were also confirmed regarding how when he met his current gf. He in fact met her and started talking to her while we were still seeing each other, on Jan 1st 2014. I'm sure he will marry this girl. Even though he's been unfaithful to her with me the entire time they've been together. It all just turns my stomach. Isn't it funny how confirmation of our suspicions about them and their deceitful ways is so freeing for us yet so hurtful for us, both at the same time?

 

I hope you really are ok. I'm here if you ever want to chat in messenger.

 

It is hurtful for sure, but I feel like it's a blessing. The worst case scenario is that your ex moves on and gets married, so that's happened. You can grieve all of that now. You don't have to wonder if it will happen anymore. I'm sorry that you found out he was unfaithful. I don't really know for 100% with my ex. It is possible that he met someone and got engaged in 5 months. I just don't think it's probable considering they worked at the same place while we were together.

 

I'm just so thankful that I didn't learn this information when it was happening. I think it would have been so devastating to me that I'm not sure I could have handled it well. Then again, maybe I would have been okay because people have to deal with it all the time. It anything, I feel that I keep getting sucked back into the entire ordeal, but I'm hoping this is the last time. I really felt like I was moving on when I found out my ex was coming back to work. Then, I was just getting used to him being back, and I find this out. It's like he keeps becoming relevant to my life in some way, but people have kids with an ex and have to deal too. The best thing we can do is limit the contact as much as possible if it has to occur.

[me85]

It is hurtful for sure, but I feel like it's a blessing. The worst case scenario is that your ex moves on and gets married, so that's happened. You can grieve all of that now. You don't have to wonder if it will happen anymore. I'm sorry that you found out he was unfaithful. I don't really know for 100% with my ex. It is possible that he met someone and got engaged in 5 months. I just don't think it's probable considering they worked at the same place while we were together.

 

I'm just so thankful that I didn't learn this information when it was happening. I think it would have been so devastating to me that I'm not sure I could have handled it well. Then again, maybe I would have been okay because people have to deal with it all the time. It anything, I feel that I keep getting sucked back into the entire ordeal, but I'm hoping this is the last time. I really felt like I was moving on when I found out my ex was coming back to work. Then, I was just getting used to him being back, and I find this out. It's like he keeps becoming relevant to my life in some way, but people have kids with an ex and have to deal too. The best thing we can do is limit the contact as much as possible if it has to occur.

 

I don't know if my ex actually cheated on me either. He just had his "met someone for the first time" date on jan 1 2014. I couldn't see his RS status. I knew he met someone else because he came on fast to get me back then once I felt like I was ready to try again he "suddenly had a change of heart." It was all very obvious that he had been talking to someone else while talking to me. And of course they met through his job. She's a student at the hospital he works for.

 

I'm fine. I'm ok. He's basically scum when it comes to how he treats girls. & I was but a girl when I was with him but I became a badass woman once we parted ways.

 

Ya, I'm moving to a whole other state so I'm pretty sure I never have to worry about bumping into him ever again for the rest of my life. & that makes me feel very relieved.

[BC1980]

I don't know if my ex actually cheated on me either. He just had his "met someone for the first time" date on jan 1 2014. I couldn't see his RS status. I knew he met someone else because he came on fast to get me back then once I felt like I was ready to try again he "suddenly had a change of heart." It was all very obvious that he had been talking to someone else while talking to me. And of course they met through his job. She's a student at the hospital he works for.

 

I'm fine. I'm ok. He's basically scum when it comes to how he treats girls. & I was but a girl when I was with him but I became a badass woman once we parted ways.

 

Ya, I'm moving to a whole other state so I'm pretty sure I never have to worry about bumping into him ever again for the rest of my life. & that makes me feel very relieved.

 

Even if our exes didn't technically cheat (and they might have), their behavior still isn't above board. It's still shady and not healthy. It's not something I would consider doing, and I'm sure you feel the same.

 

I glad you never have to see him again. I thought I would never see my ex again, but life had other plans:(

[me85]

Even if our exes didn't technically cheat (and they might have), their behavior still isn't above board. It's still shady and not healthy. It's not something I would consider doing, and I'm sure you feel the same.

 

I glad you never have to see him again. I thought I would never see my ex again, but life had other plans:(

 

I absolutely feel the same way. I would never take my ex back. I'm really sorry you work with your ex. Even if you don't see him hardly. ?

 

No matter what, from where him and this girl started from they have no where to go. Engaged after 5 months? please. That's hysterical, B. That won't turn out to be any fairytale, I guarantee you.

 

Though I know you don't really care about whether it lasts or not. You're just trying to understand exactly what you're feeling about the news.

[Itspointless]

So if I get it right she is now in the position you were in before he left ... That doesn't seem like a place to be jealous of. I am happy for you that the snooping gave you some answers, nothing wrong with that, the right knowledge makes us move forward. And forward we go

[BC1980]

I absolutely feel the same way. I would never take my ex back. I'm really sorry you work with your ex. Even if you don't see him hardly. ?

 

No matter what, from where him and this girl started from they have no where to go. Engaged after 5 months? please. That's hysterical, B. That won't turn out to be any fairytale, I guarantee you.

 

Though I know you don't really care about whether it lasts or not. You're just trying to understand exactly what you're feeling about the news.

 

I would never take my ex back. Not after this. Before all of this, I used to be so scared that he would try to con his way back into my life, and I wouldn't be able to resist. I think there is something human buried deep inside of him. I've seen him be genuine a few times, but it was super rare.

 

So I guess I mainly feel relief but also hurt at times. Hurt that he never loved me unconditionally. Hurt that he toyed with and manipulated me and my family. Also, just a general sense that he is creepy and gross.

[BC1980]

So if I get it right she is now in the position you were in before he left ... That doesn't seem like a place to be jealous of. I am happy for you that the snooping gave you some answers, nothing wrong with that, the right knowledge makes us move forward. And forward we go

 

I don't regret the snooping. It was a one time thing to figure out the timeline. I actually immediately blocked her on my FB and have not looked at anything else related to her on the internet since. I have no plans to do anymore snooping, and I don't feel any urge to. I'm not jealous of her by any means. I probably would have been if I found this out when they actually got engaged, but I noticed a huge shift in my thinking over the past few months. I was nearly 100% emotionally detached when I found this out, and I'm now fully detached. I could never see him in the same way again. I think most of the hurt is just coming to terms with the fact that another human being could actually do this. The hurt of being the target of this type of abuse and trickery.

 

It makes sense that he would want this woman. From what I have learned, she fits the profile of his ideal mate. He had a superficial checklist that I could never live up to, and she fits the mold perfectly. He's not concerned with any person's intrinsic worth or their values. He's not concerned if a person can love fully and can show respect for their partner. He's concerned with how this person can help him. Her profession makes more money than mine, and his first wife actually had the same profession. A person's profession is a big deal to him. He defines people by their professions.

 

So yeah, it makes sense, and I'm not surprised. I think he kept me around until he found someone that was more suitable to his needs. I probably filled some of his needs because I had low self-esteem and was an easy target for his mind games. But I could never fill all of his needs because my profession isn't prestigious enough for him, and he deemed me unworthy in a whole slew of other categories. He did try really hard to fix me though, but it was just too much in the end. So I had to go eventually. It was always just a matter of when.

[Itspointless]

It makes sense that he would want this woman. From what I have learned, she fits the profile of his ideal mate. He had a superficial checklist that I could never live up to, and she fits the mold perfectly. He's not concerned with any person's intrinsic worth or their values. He's not concerned if a person can love fully and can show respect for their partner. He's concerned with how this person can help him. Her profession makes more money than mine, and his first wife actually had the same profession. A person's profession is a big deal to him. He defines people by their professions.

I already had the idea that you were not jealous. It seems the recipe for a sad future for her. I am happy for you that you are in a far better place now.

[BC1980]

I already had the idea that you were not jealous. It seems the recipe for a sad future for her. I am happy for you that you are in a far better place now.

 

It really is amazing how much my feelings changed for him after I went NC and saw him for what he was. I just wonder if there are people out there who aren't absolute creeps like this guy. I know there are, but it's just scary how drawn into his web I was. I mean, I knew something as off for the majority of the relationship, but I suppressed a lot due to my low self-esteem issues. Lesson learned: trust your gut instinct.

[me85]

It's funny B, I have had my ex and his new gf blocked on FB too, from the start.

 

Yes, there are creeps out there like your ex. In fact, my ex creep has your ex creep beat because mine was abusive and everything in my body tells me my ex cheated on me the entire time we were together. Maybe not physically but definitely emotionally and via sending other girls (nude) pics and getting them to send him (nude) pics and sexting with them. I'm fairly certain he remained in contact with his ex all the time we were together as well. I mean, hello!! He's contacted me the entire time he's been with his current gf. So, yeah, if he's been talking to his ex behind her back then he definitely talked to his ex behind my back too. I'm sure he does that to all his gfs. He's a cheater. I should've ran for the door when we first started dating and he told me he cheated on 2 of his previous gfs. God, I was such a dumb@$$ when it came to him.

 

I feel sorry for the girl my ex is with now. And every other girl that gets caught in his web of lies, manipulation and deceit. They're guaranteed to be wronged by him. One way or the other.

[ruhrohcd]

I mean, I knew something as off for the majority of the relationship, but I suppressed a lot due to my low self-esteem issues. Lesson learned: trust your gut instinct.

 

Wow I identify with that. My therapist said that I need to explicitly let any future girlfriend know that I'm not a project.

 

Due to my depression I never understood what my ex saw in me; her answer was always that she saw my potential. Now I'm wondering: potential for what? To be molded into whatever shape she desired? I too became too much work because the shape wasn't holding and I was left behind.

 

I can't wait to be as far out and away from this as you are!

[BC1980]

Wow I identify with that. My therapist said that I need to explicitly let any future girlfriend know that I'm not a project.

 

Due to my depression I never understood what my ex saw in me; her answer was always that she saw my potential. Now I'm wondering: potential for what? To be molded into whatever shape she desired? I too became too much work because the shape wasn't holding and I was left behind.

 

I can't wait to be as far out and away from this as you are!

 

Shaking my head. . . . that sounds so familiar. I always felt like some project for my ex to fix up. I truly think that knew his fiance for a long time (longer than I will ever know), and maybe she even initiated something with him. You never know. One thing I do know is that on paper, she is exactly what he wants. Since he sees people as objects, I think he really had to find a way to slink out of the relationship with me to try with her. However, I don't think he would have an outright affair because he is too concerned with how he looks. He wants to be seen a a very moral person. So I think he had his eye on this woman, and, after he broke up with me, possibly played both of us until he felt he wanted to commit to her (or she committed to him). When I told him to eff of in text, he immediately dropped contact with me and was engaged 5 months later.

 

Something else is also fishy as h*ll. I think this woman might have been a student of his first wife's. They have the same profession, and she went to the university his wife taught at. I really feel that he goes far back with this woman, further back than I even know. Maybe she was married at one point, and he couldn't pursue her. Maybe she became single during our relationship. Who even knows.

Edited January 7, 2015 by BC1980

[BC1980]

It's funny B, I have had my ex and his new gf blocked on FB too, from the start.

 

Yes, there are creeps out there like your ex. In fact, my ex creep has your ex creep beat because mine was abusive and everything in my body tells me my ex cheated on me the entire time we were together. Maybe not physically but definitely emotionally and via sending other girls (nude) pics and getting them to send him (nude) pics and sexting with them. I'm fairly certain he remained in contact with his ex all the time we were together as well. I mean, hello!! He's contacted me the entire time he's been with his current gf. So, yeah, if he's been talking to his ex behind her back then he definitely talked to his ex behind my back too. I'm sure he does that to all his gfs. He's a cheater. I should've ran for the door when we first started dating and he told me he cheated on 2 of his previous gfs. God, I was such a dumb@$$ when it came to him.

 

I feel sorry for the girl my ex is with now. And every other girl that gets caught in his web of lies, manipulation and deceit. They're guaranteed to be wronged by him. One way or the other.

 

After everything I went through with my ex, I genuinely feel for this woman. I understand what it's like to be in such a fog of love with someone promising the world to you. I was there myself at one point, so I don't blame her. I overlooked quite a bit because I was so addicted to him, and I was also attracted to the power of his profession and standing. I'll admit that. Unfortunately, his particular profession does attract a large amount of narcissists.

 

For all I know, he probably told her it was some type of mutual breakup or that I dumped him. I know, for a fact, that he told someone at work that we were still friends, which is an absolute lie. TBH, a lot of people at work couldn't stand the guy before and while we were dating. That should have been a big clue. I had to talk to him on the phone in October, and I didn't know he was engaged at the time. He really put on the nice guy act, saying he was "so glad to hear my voice" and acting like we were old pals. It seriously gives me the creeps and makes me wanna puke thinking back on it.

[ruhrohcd]

I'm at least lucky to not know if there was someone else involved. Her leaving me for someone else would certainly fit her history, but you know, what we had together was special and different than anything she'd felt before.

 

I occasionally get the urge to check her craft blog to see what she may be up to, but I've thankfully avoided doing so thus far. I can't imagine how I'd function knowing she was in the same building; knowing where she is in the same city makes it difficult enough. She's so close geographically, but so far away emotionally.

 

You're one of many people I'm turning to for proof that this will continue to get better. That isn't meant as pressure, as I'm sure you still have setbacks from time to time. Rather, it's meant as encouragement to keep going. Thank you.

[BC1980]

I'm at least lucky to not know if there was someone else involved. Her leaving me for someone else would certainly fit her history, but you know, what we had together was special and different than anything she'd felt before.

 

I occasionally get the urge to check her craft blog to see what she may be up to, but I've thankfully avoided doing so thus far. I can't imagine how I'd function knowing she was in the same building; knowing where she is in the same city makes it difficult enough. She's so close geographically, but so far away emotionally.

 

You're one of many people I'm turning to for proof that this will continue to get better. That isn't meant as pressure, as I'm sure you still have setbacks from time to time. Rather, it's meant as encouragement to keep going. Thank you.

 

I'm glad I can be of encouragement. I also looked to many posters on LS for encouragement and kept faith that it would get better. Sometimes, that faith is all you can hold onto because the current reality can seem pretty darn bleak many days. I still can't believe that he went right into another relationship (or more likely was carrying one out while stringing me along), and I had no clue for an entire year. But it fits his profile.

 

I can honestly say that my relationship with him feels like another lifetime, and I once thought I would never be able to say that. It's like I can remember that I was very in love with him at one point and very excited about our future, but I can't remember how that emotion felt. The first time I saw him at work, I sort of felt this pang like I remembered how if felt to love him. But it went away as quickly as it came. Keep the faith. It's possible to move on from this. If anything, know that life rarely turns out how we plan or expect. Many variables come into play that alter our course, and a really bad ending can open up the door to a new beginning that might be even better.

[BC1980]

Feeling angry today. Just mad that he can get away with this and think he is in the right. Wish I would have told him off and wish I could do that now. Frustrated that everytime I'm moving on, I get sucked back I to this stuff.

[me85]

Feeling angry today. Just mad that he can get away with this and think he is in the right. Wish I would have told him off and wish I could do that now. Frustrated that everytime I'm moving on, I get sucked back I to this stuff.

 

I know just how you feel. I really regret being the bigger person and never being honest about the ill feelings I have for my ex and my opinions of him. It really isn't fair that the better person in the RS is left to suffer.

[BC1980]

I know just how you feel. I really regret being the bigger person and never being honest about the ill feelings I have for my ex and my opinions of him. It really isn't fair that the better person in the RS is left to suffer.

 

I wish I had told him how I felt when the relationship ended. I won't do it now because it would look so petty and pathetic. Still, I wish he knew that I don't feel what he did was right. Not even in a mean way. I wish I had I had said what needed to be said in a matter of fact way. Even if he only thinks I feel that way. Just swirling in some residual anger brought on by the recent revelations.

Edited January 8, 2015 by BC1980

[Haydn]

I wish I had told him how I felt when the relationship ended. I won't do it now because it would look so petty and pathetic. Still, I wish he knew that I don't feel what he did was right. Not even in a mean way. I wish I had I had said what needed to be said in a matter of fact way. Even if he only thinks I feel that way. Just swirling in some residual anger brought on by the recent revelations.

 

No, you don`t need to do anything. Residual anger is normal. Remains, is all it is. You are doing ok. Just close the door shut. Nothing ajar.