d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. She's a widow. She'd like to start dating again . . well more like she wants male companionship but she's convinced me her age (late 60s) only want young women. She also doesn't know where to meet eligible men. I suggested Our Time which is advertised as a site for people over 50. Can anybody give me specific info about Our Time? I assume it's like any other dating site but if anybody has info about the demographics, that would be wonderful. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) I've tried it. I'm not sure what demographic information you're looking for exactly but I'll give you my general impression... the majority of people on there are in their 50s and 60s. I maybe saw a few outside that range on either side, but not many. More likely younger women; 40 something women join too. I got flirts, photo likes and one-liner messages all the time from older women, about half of whom didn't have photos, and the other half looked... well, let's just say that sexy would not be an adjective I'd apply. If your friend is fit and active looking then her chances are better, obviously. I'm late 50s and interested in women in their 50s––my age to eight or ten years younger. Sex is still a priority, so anyone who says they're looking for friendship or hints that they want companionship only, or who doesn't look sexually alive is out. I can't speak for older gentlemen of course, but I imagine attraction is a factor regardless. I never browsed the men's profiles, so I can't really say how many late 60s or 70s men are on there. For me it was almost like shooting fish in a barrel since I was probably one of the younger, active looking men, and I think the demographics shift to the men's favor at this age. I got a lot of attention but few actual prospects on ourtime. All of my success has come through OKCupid... less activity but higher quality projects who are not delusional. I say she should give it a try, but only if she's wiling to post photos. I have to wonder what reality they're subscribed to when they expect men to go into hot pursuit mode over a wink from a blank profile with no pic, but some do. The initial signup is not cheap, but they'll cut you a deal if you try to quit. So sign up for one month, then go through the steps to cancel at the end of the month... they will make one offer at a slightly reduced rate, then if you decline and try to go through with the cancellation they'll give you another rock bottom offer. I accepted the second offer and stayed a few more months. Edited January 5, 2015 by salparadise Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 My aunt tried some site geared toward the elderly. No kindly, old men with a twinkle in their eye and a Werther's Original in their pocket. All of them wanted sex and were not shy about it. She was shocked! I told her not to worry since for most of them sex was a distant memory and to let them have their fantasies while treating her to the Olive Garden. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 My friend is gorgeous, vivacious, smart & active. I have traveled with her. She's certainly not a "little old lady." I doubt she's opposed to sex but since she was with her husband for 40+ years & it was a different age when they started dating, I suspect a modern up front ask would be off putting. Nevertheless, I will continue to encourage her to try. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I've met a fair amount of women like your friend in my travels and IMO she'll have better luck just getting out there. I recall a recent trip where my seatmate was a quite vivacious and very single lady your friend's age who was a retired TWA stewardess. If she hadn't lived completely on the other side of the country I'd certainly have asked her out. One of the few transcons in memory where I don't remember how long it took, it flew by so fast. While OLD is definitely an option, social engagements more traditional to her generation would likely bring compatible men into her company. My only advice beyond this suggestion would be for her to not overlook younger men, meaning those between my age and hers. That goes somewhat against tradition for her generation but hey, it's a new world out there. She could easily live another 20-30 years nowadays. Heck, she could enjoy a silver anniversary in her twilight years. Never know! Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 Thanks for the optimism carhill but could you please clarify what you mean by "social engagements more traditional to her generation"? She does travel. She goes to local casinos occasionally. I met her at a fraternal group but there are no suitable men there. She volunteers at a local animal shelter. She refuses to go to the local senior centers and I'm not going to push that. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 As one example, after my dad died and my mom was living alone, she'd often take herself to senior dances. She was a good dancer and in her generation such social activities were common and single ladies had no shortage of dance partners, as the men, both single and married, understood what dancing together was in their generation. And, at that age, married couples often know widowers and divorced guys so networking goes on too, building a social circle. My aunt met men, of all places, on buses and at city hall, where she was a frequent visitor to council meetings to advocate for the bus system as, being in her 80's, she could no longer drive. She had been a widow nearly 20 years at that point. Still active, still interested in companionship, found it along the way, both on the bus and at wherever the destination was. She lived until her mid 90's. Another option is bus tours. I saw a lot of single men and women of older generations when I'd do those with my mom after dad died. Just as with younger generations, it's networking. A plus is, regardless of meeting someone or not, plenty of social interaction and interesting things to do and see. Keeps the social skills honed. Heck, I could have set my mom up with some cool single older guys when we used to do steam railfanning, riding steam trains around the west coast. I did a bunch of that to take her mind off of, as with your friend, losing a husband of many decades. Every contact was an opportunity and the men were quite friendly and invariably the gentlemen, all volunteers doing what they loved or retired from, railroading. Big world, lots of opportunities. Like I always say, anywhere in the world is one sleep away. How it goes is one's choice. If she is comfortable with a computer and the internet, sites like Our Time can certainly provide meeting opportunities. I'd consider it one tool in a big toolbox. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 My mother used to go on trips sponsored by Elderhostel which I think is a social group. You'd have to google for details. Of course the older you get the fewer men there are since they die ten years before most women the same age. Maybe AARP online would have articles with suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 My grandmother was on senior singles for a while and from what I understand it ended up being mostly married guys looking for a little extra on the side. It's really tough for older women cause the men start dying off first. =/ Link to post Share on other sites
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