jtshaw Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Ok, basically i was dumped about 1 month ago, and I intitiated no contact. But one day, i had an urge to see her, so i stopped by. We talked briefly and she told me that she missed me, and we hugged, kissed, and this led stralght to sex. The sex, by the way, was great. Before sex, she was asking me question about whom i was seeing etc, She said if I was not seeing someone, she would not want to have sex, as I may become too involved. So i laughed, said I met a few people, then me and my ex had sex. Then after sex, she is telling me how much she loves me. And she makes a point to keep saying it.... But then I leave, and we have not contacted each other for about a week, although I would like to see her again. My questions have to do with her strange behavior. When she said she wanted me to see people, and i told her i met someone and went on a date, she seemed to get jealous. Then she was saying "i dont want to have sex, if you dont care for me".... She keeps asking if I cared for her, missed her, etc, but she wants to keep it as "just sex" Then she starts telling me how much she loves me, which really confuses things. Is this woman genuinely confused? playing mind games? Wants me to contact her? Even though she made some comments about if we have sex i shouldnt get too involved? Or is sex just no big deal to her? Should I just wait for her to contact me? Link to post Share on other sites
eastern_mystique Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Is this woman genuinely confused? playing mind games? Wants me to contact her? Even though she made some comments about if we have sex i shouldnt get too involved? Or is sex just no big deal to her? Should I just wait for her to contact me? She's probably a mixture of 'confused' and 'playing mind games'. It sounds like she's exercising her power over you - she says "jump", you say "how high?". So by doing this she's getting her needs met, without being in a relationship with you. If you're okay with this, then that's fine. However, if you want her back, it's not a good idea to be sleeping with her. She needs to feel like she's missing something if she's gonna get back with you, and she won't feel like anything is missing if you have sex with her whenever she wants (there's a line from a film that goes something like "no one's gonna buy the friggin' ice-cream truck if you keep handing out the popsicles for free!"). As for contact, don't contact her for a week or two. I think absolutely no contact is a little harsh, but just leave her hanging for a while. She will probably get in touch with you during this time, and if she doesn't she will be wondering why you haven't. Call her up after a week or two ask if she wants to meet up, go for a coffee or lunch or something else but NO SEX!! Show her that you can't be used so easily. Keep it fun and light-hearted. Show her what a great guy you are and how fun it is to be around you. Don't go into too much detail about any dates you've been on; you don't want to look like you're trying to make her jealous, but if she asks, be honest as well. Someone who is being pursued by other people automatically looks more attractive than someone who isn't. Of course none of this is guaranteed to work, but it sounds like she's still hung up on you so you have a decent chance at getting back with her - if that's what you're aiming for. Why did she break up with you anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
beatjunkies Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 I agree. It sounds like she is trying to test how much power she has over you... She wants to have her cake and eat it too.. She acts jealous but then tells you that she cares and misses you, but yet she says she doesnt want to to get too emotionally envolved in sex ??? Thats just playing games.. I would just play it cool and dont call her.. Make her work to get you back if she wants you back.. Girls love playing games man, even though they break up with you for some sick reason they like to test you still !! Thats the kinda ish my ex pulled with me.. But at least you got to have sex with your ex !! haha.. When I broke up with my ex though in the past I always tried to like have sex with her and what not.. Maybe she was horny and she feels comfortable with you.. She probly is just confused and it sounds like the single life isnt that great for her but she still wants to test the waters but keep you on the side just incase it doesnt work.. Hope this helps some.. Peace Happy Easter Link to post Share on other sites
clynn Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 She sounds confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 sex with the ex is not a mistake..but there are certain consequences as you may know by now, so i suggest you: have sex then tell her to leave..haha lots of ladies will hate me for that one, but f*ck it i aint lookin for approval make her jealous..she'll want you because of it Link to post Share on other sites
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