So after 1 Year

[Charlie1983]

Hi all,

 

I have been on this site on and off when I needed advice so thought I would share my own recent experience.

 

To cut a long story short I was seeing a guy, fell head over heels for him but never said a word. I knew he'd fallen for me but he wouldn't admit it.

If you think they've fallen for you then go with your instinct. Due to me being frustrated and also not openly asking him I pushed him in to a 'break up'....well it was just a fun relationship.

 

I was devasted and afterwards wrote a long letter to him explaining that I had fallen in love with him. I never heard anything back. I was hurt, angry and then, after a while realised I was ok (it helped he didn't contact me). I started to think of him in a positive way but after I sent that heart-felt message with no reply I gave up.

 

Exactly a year later I recieved the most honest, open and apologetic email I have ever read. He apologised for running away from his feelings, that he cared deeply for me etc etc

It was a very long, reflective email.

I was so shocked!

 

Anyway, my point is...

* if you need to message them do, once, be as open as possible - it is cathartic but then agree with yourself not to message again.

* you must cut off all communication regardless of how you feel towards them.

* It took him ONE YEAR to reflect on the situation, so my other point is people come to realisations at different points, you can't force it.

* Do not expect them to come back and realise that when they do you will not see them in the same rose-tinted light!

 

Weirdly I don't really have a desire to see him. I still care for him but not in the same way I did....remember I was head over heels in love, so your feelings will change x

[erklat]

Yeah, you eventually come to a point where you realise that reopening

Lines of communication would be so awkward that it is best not to do so.

 

After all the pain. However, I would advise against heartfelt letters and messages.