Lonely when single - how to solve it

[thecrucible]

I've recently noticed that I've been feeling quite lonely. I don't know if this is just the fact that it's the holiday period and it reminds me of my single status.

 

 

I've come to terms with being single, so I'm not vulnerable enough to jump on the first guy who likes me (although I do find it easy to get attached). But it gets really frustrating going date after date and it not leading anywhere; or experiencing unrequited love for some guy or another. I love taking care of people and showing my love, platonic or romantic. It feels like a chunk of meaning is missing in my life.

 

 

I have three close friends. One of them has moved hundreds of miles away. We visit each other from time to time but otherwise communication is quite sporadic. My other friends I don't see as often (maybe once every couple of weeks) as they both have busy lives and need to devote some time to family and boyfriends.

 

 

I do have a job but the contract runs out in 3 months. I'm hoping I'll find another job but it will be hard. I also volunteer on a couple of charity committees; assist with running an activity group for young girls; and do a voluntary placement once a week in the city. So I keep busy enough that I shouldn't feel lonely. But I do.

 

 

I've been single (save the odd 2-3 month relationship) for over 3 years now. That's scary for me to think about.

 

 

I don't know if I'm lonely for love or even emotional closeness in a friendship sense.

 

 

Any advice on how to stave off the lonely feelings? Thank you everyone.

[Chris715]

I struggle quite a bit with this too and definitely doesn't help when most of my family and friends all have SO's. Do you have any hobbies/interests that you can pursue on your own? I find that that can help a lot. Not as a fix all for a single life obviously, but helps to have something to keep you occupied on days/nights that might be spent completely alone.

 

I've been getting into running and working out lately (although I've been lazy very recently, need to get back on that) and that's definitely helped with confidence and self esteem. 7 months single myself, with just a couple crappy relationships before that, so believe me, I definitely get the struggle.

[Joseph z]

Hi there. Okay, so I'm not an expert on this and I'm not an established member on this site. I can only speak from my own personal experience.

I just got out of a 7 year relationship and have been single since September. The feelings of lonliness have been pretty strong. I'm used to being with someone you know?

 

 

The only thing that has helped me has been to stay really busy, which it sounds like you are definitely doing. Another thing I did was move closer to my family. I don't know if that's feasible for you but that's what I did. It's good to see familiar faces. I'm sorry that your friend moved away.

 

 

The best thing I changed that has really turned the whole thing around is I started going to the gym a lot. I mean like every morning before work. When I'm on the olyptical or whatever it Is I'm doing that day I think about things that are bothering me. By the time I'm done it kind of melts away. I think when you exercise it releases chemicals that make you happier.

You just got to stay positive. So maybe my situation isn't totally the same as yours but I felt like I could relate so I figured I'd post. Hope it helps. Happy New Year

[sportygirl89]

Try to join young professional social groups. It might be fun to meet people that way. I just ended most of my friendships but two that I consider good friends. I like the idea of reinventing myself. Just also donated most of my closet so I have to go clothes shopping now .

[travelbug1996]

Learn to become your own best friend and enjoy your own company.