NinaW Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 There is this man where I work. I feel as if he is attracted to me but I am second-guessing myself because I am attracted to him and I know it is in human nature to take desirable for actual. We are both in r/s AND working together, so there should be NO way this could be happening and still it feels as if it is happening. I will list facts/signs and please let me know if it looks as if he is interested or if it looks as if I am delusional. Let's call him Joe. 1. He gives a lot of eye contact. I catch him looking at me when someone else is talking and I naturally look at the one who is talking, then I would look at Joe and catch him watching me. Sometimes he stares right into my eyes from across the room and would not break eye contact when I stare back. Those gazes can be very prolonged like almost a minute. No smile. When we talk, he looks straight into my eyes all the time. His pupils are dilated. 2. When I am around, he starts whistling/humming. I have never caught him doing this when I just enter the room or when he is surrounded by other people. 3. He started brushing his arm, leg, fingers "accidentally" all the time when he learned that it is okay with me. We have some physical contact every time we talk. He approaches me sometimes just "to bump" into me or so it seems.. 4. Sometimes he brings me some food item that he made himself "just to try". 5. We joke a lot together and he laughs at my jokes. When we chat and I would start going away, he would often say something when I am almost gone, something interesting which pulls me back into chatting with him. 6. He made a few jokes about love and made a few psychological observations about me. he called me crazy. He said that he is crazy as well. He told me he likes me. he told me that what I say is important. 7. He shares his space with me willingly. 8. He would reply to my after-work emails to him (which I send like once or twice a week), but would never initiate himself 9. When I am not talking to him, it looks like I see him more often on those days and it looks like he is trying to attract my attention 10. He would give me once over when I wear clingy clothes 11. He gravitates towards me during public events 12. He tells me what he is doing at home 13. He teases me 14. He smiles a lot around me even if there is nothing to smile about. There is "I know that you know that I know" smile most of the time 15. His voice gets husky and he swallows nervously when we get close 16. Once in the kitchen he took a piece of a pie someone left for everybody. he was sitting next to me and I looked at this piece in his hand and asked 'what is it?" And I could see he had an impulse to break it and give me half but he held it off because there were other people at the table and the gesture would be too intimate. But I know he would be comfortable sharing his piece with me. 17. Once he saw how another man put his arm around me jokingly and I could see he was mad and stopped talking to me for a few days What he does not: 1. He does not try to schedule his lunch to be with me in the kitchen at the same time which he could have done easily 2. He does not initiate any contact with me outside of work, except of him bringing to me what he makes sometimes. 3. Sometimes after a very close and open communication he gets cold and dismissive while being friendly and happy with everybody else. Those periods of his detachment piss me off and I step back and then slowly we approach each other again and everything gets back to where it was. Do you think he is attracted or just friendly? Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Mm beware the unwavering, unflinching predatory stare, especially combined with a few other things on your list. Link to post Share on other sites
melell Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 The amount of times this has happened to me in the workplace...smh. I don't buy into it at all. I would say he is attracted to you, and the situation, it is fun, it is like flirting in a bar with someone before they ask you for more..except it lasts a looong time. It makes people feel good, so they keep doing it, and look forward to it. But...imo, it is one of those 'it is what it is' situations, often things dramatically change after the flirting stops. I am probably wrong though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NinaW Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 Mm beware the unwavering, unflinching predatory stare, especially combined with a few other things on your list. What are other few things you refer to here? can you elaborate? Link to post Share on other sites
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