sandylee1 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Exactly what I was thinking. What kind of photos does the BH think the OM has of his WW? This story does not seem right. Not saying this is the case here, but it is possible to send pictures during an EA only, especially if it is a long distance thing. If the OM was close enough, then your H may be doubtful this was not a PA. It's these lies that can ultimately destroy the marriage if uncovered. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 You and your husband need to get tested for STD's. You still continue to manipulate your husband make him look like a fool while continuing to lie to him. If the roles were reversed would you want your husband to treat you the way you continue to treat him? Either your marriage is based on truth and honesty or lies and betrayal. The choice is yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Sorry dear lady but he is on to you, your days are numbered, your best defence is the truth. You could just continue on with the deception and continue withholding the truth from your husband but at some point you will have to deal with the real cost to you, your better than this aren't you, isn't it time you became an honest person again? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sidney2718 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Update: First off, thank you all for taking the time to give me your two sense. The OM has taken back his threat. I told him what he was doing was blackmail and is illegal. That I could go to the police but I didn't want to because it would ruin his life and possibly lose half custody of his kids. I don't think he fully understood the seriousness of what he was doing. He wanted to continue the sex and thought I would enjoy it too but I made it clear that's not what I want. He is a powerful man at work and is used to getting his way so this confrontational act was his reaction to me calling off the affair. I'm not trying to make excuses but we all know how crazy people get when it comes to emotions. My H knows I had a EA with OM and that he has pictures. We are trying to put our marriage back together. I hope the OM is sincere. Assuming that he is, you have a serious decision to make. You can try to bury the PA and hope that your husband never finds out the truth. If that works, you are home free. If it does not work, you are in such deep do-do that you'll not be able to swim out of it. It will end in divorce. One last thing: if you decide to keep it all secret and your husband does find out, tell him everything the first time out. Don't trickle truth him. That's about the worst thing you can do. On the other hand, you can come clean. He will doubtless go ballistic and you will be faced with divorce. You might get some points for coming clean to him or you might not. So you have a very serious decision to make. Think carefully. None of us can make it for you. You know your husband best. You have to decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) So OP, when do you tell your H that you physically screwed this other man? You have NO right to keep that info from him. If you are going to not tell him that then just divorce him because you are not a good wife. I also love how you say you didn't go to the police because you don't want to ruin his life. But yeah, ruining your husbands life is TOTALLY fair game, right? Ummm... because I'm not the morality police, and neither is anyone else on this board. Extortion is a criminal act, infidelity is not. She's a big girl, she can determine what is 'right' for her to do. Extortion works because of fear. I'm just telling she should not fear him telling, because he won't... ever! He loses everything in that scenario. You don't have to be the morality police to tell someone to do the right thing. You also have ZERO way of knowing for sure he won't tell. Yes, I realize the OP posted an update saying he backed off, but prior to that you had no way of knowing, and heck..it is still possible he will change his mind. If he just flat out stops asking for sex and just decides to tell the H what happened..that isn't illegal. Edited January 7, 2015 by Spectre 1 Link to post Share on other sites
familygone Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I know I'm going to get backlash from people who have been cheated on. I'm in the wrong, I take full responsibility and am trying to rebuild my life with my family. I had a 2 month affair I met online and he has nude pictures of me. He's threatening to tell my husband if I don't continue to have sex with him. I have the texts with his threats and a voicemail. I haven't yet told him that I have this information for fear that he'll expose me. He's smart and has more resources than me financially. Any advice, legal or otherwise would really really help. Thank you in advance I wish that would happen to my ex ,who turned out to be a whore.I told her she was a whore to her face she didn't bat and eye!,What goes around comes around... Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I know I'm going to get backlash from people who have been cheated on. I'm in the wrong, I take full responsibility and am trying to rebuild my life with my family. Seems like you've only taken partial responsibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 My H knows I had a EA with OM and that he has pictures. We are trying to put our marriage back together. Your H will give this more thought as time goes on. If it was 'just' an EA, why would (ex)OM have pictures? You need to come clean, you can't fix things with your husband with him only knowing the partial truth. You are scared of his reaction, scared of the fallout, rightfully so but you chose this and the consequences are high! And it's something you're gonna have to face sooner or later. No way will your H just drop this and accept the little bit of the truth you gave him. That's trickle truth and he's gonna want to know more details. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I never understand why anyone sends naked pictures to anyone. I seriously don't get why someone involved in an affair would send their affair person naked pictures. It is an incredibly stupid thing to do. Affairs end; feelings get hurt and like this poster, threats are made. I highly doubt the police would do anything - she voluntarily sent the pictures to the person. We aren't talking about dumb teenagers here - we are talking about grown adults who obviously haven't seen the numerous news articles about sending naked pictures. In some jurisdictions, it can mean legal trouble for the person sending the picture as it could be considered pornography. I just don't get it - why the need to send the dang pictures to begin with! Makes no sense to me and is just asking for issues. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 What you have really done is damage control. You are trusting the word of someone who has already proven he cannot be trust AND has no problem blowing up your life and thinking nothing of it. The only sure fire way to take the power away from this OM nutjob is to tell your husband everything - everything. Then, if the OM does decide to puff up and blow it out if the water, the fact that your H already knows will take the wind out of his little sails. AND you may have a chance to save your marriage based on honesty. BTW, I still think that if his threat was in writing you should save it. You never know when it might come in handy. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Update: First off, thank you all for taking the time to give me your two sense. The OM has taken back his threat. I told him what he was doing was blackmail and is illegal. That I could go to the police but I didn't want to because it would ruin his life and possibly lose half custody of his kids. I don't think he fully understood the seriousness of what he was doing. He wanted to continue the sex and thought I would enjoy it too but I made it clear that's not what I want. He is a powerful man at work and is used to getting his way so this confrontational act was his reaction to me calling off the affair. I'm not trying to make excuses but we all know how crazy people get when it comes to emotions. My H knows I had a EA with OM and that he has pictures. We are trying to put our marriage back together. Well, That got wrapped up nicely in a tight little bow! BUNNIES!!!! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I never understand why anyone sends naked pictures to anyone. I seriously don't get why someone involved in an affair would send their affair person naked pictures. I just don't get it - why the need to send the dang pictures to begin with! The same reason as having sex with the AP. They don't think they will get caught. In the A fog, they think they are special. They think that despite the statistics, despite what they see here on LS, they will get away with it. Why else would anyone have sex with their AP/Send naked photo's?! Naked photos, Pish tosh. That is nothing. I wish my WS just sent naked photo's, lol. I wish my WS had sent naked photos to NBC. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Feel sorry for this woman's husband. Poor guy doesn't know the person he trusted the most not only doesn't give two sh*ts about him, but has no problem whatsoever with making him look like a complete and utter fool. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts