bestfriend

[aa77777]

Hi all, im in need of advice,

 

over the past year or so, i have fallen for my best friend. i think about her most of the day, she is in my dreams, and i love spending time with her. id rather do nothing with her than the most extravagant thing with anyone else.

we met in 2011 as we were doing the same university degree. my friends and her friends always said that we would be good together, but we both brushed it off and ignored it. anyway, we have grown very close as friends, and she often refers to me as her best friend, her brother, and irreplaceable. And i know for a fact that noone else in her life is there for her as i am. I always ensure i make myself available to the point that i tend to put her before any other friends, and sometimes even family. When i first started feeling things for her, i was in an odd state of denial and ignored them to focus on the friendship. i dont know why exactly. but now they are so strong that i cannot ignore them anymore. the highlight of my week/month is when i get to spend time with her. she was recently on her yearly break from work, and we spent about half of her holiday together. whenever i spend time with her, it makes me so sad, both from the fact that she isnt with me, and that while i am with her, i am aware that the time i spend with her is limited. Because she knows me so well, she notices that i am sad, and to hide my feelings, i often turn it on her and blame her, which has led to a couple of fights over the past months, and this makes her sad...

I hate doing this, as every time i see her hurt, i feel as though a part of me is breaking apart.

one example is we were both recently at a party, and she was being hit on by lots of guys, and it made me jealous and visibly sad, at least to her. when she asked me if i was okay, i blamed it on her and started calling her names... i felt like for doing that.

 

anyway, Now she is currently seeing someone, and through our mutual friends, she has told them that she sees me strictly as a friend and nothing more.

Recently, i have been pondering the idea of letting her know how i feel. i know that it will not change her mind, and that is not my intention. i am not trying to win her over or be her knight in shining Armour, i just want her to know how i feel. because everytime i am away from her, i hurt, and when im with her, i hurt more, not because she isnt mine. i understand that my role in her life is as her friend, and i love that, i value her friendship more than anything in the world. i just need to tell her how i feel because its eating me up inside, and its all i think about. everytime i see her and i dont tell her, i feel like i am lying to her, and everytime i feel hurt or sad due to my feelings, and she notices, i turn it on her. its very selfish and very unfair of me to do this. i respect her and care for her too much to keep on lying.

 

my friends have given me mixed messages on how to approach this... in general, my male friends tell me to go for it, and my female friends tell me to keep it to myself, and live with it, out of fear of ruining the friendship... personally, i fear the possible regret in the future of not telling her... i regret several things in my life, and the feeling is worse than anything else, even worse than losing people...

 

Any help is very appreciated,,, and i am truly sorry about the length of this post, but this is the shorter version, i have left out alot of information.

what should i do??

[TabbyHearts]

i fear the possible regret in the future of not telling her... i regret several things in my life, and the feeling is worse than anything else, even worse than losing people...

 

well that was exactly what I was going to ask, would regretting never telling her feel worse than losing her?

 

The other option is to begin opening yourself up to other girls and begin dating. See if you can develop feelings for someone else, but that means you have to make the commitment to that if you're going to do it. What I mean is, don't be dating some girl while you're still putting your best friend first, and don't lead someone on either. No woman is going to want to play second fiddle to your best friend, so you either have to tell her how you feel and risk losing it so you can move on with your own life, or secretly love her forever and never be able to get a life of your own.