Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking. And if it's a test, then f--k that. Last week a girl I've been talking to tried to give me a "test". I flat out told her that if she was interested in juvenile games like that to try to make me sweat that she should spend her time talking to someone else. Lets just say that she immediately changed her tune and went out of her way to be apologetic for trying such a thing. What I'm saying is stop trying to treat this as if it's a game and stop trying to jump through hoops like a circus animal. Honestly, you need to chill out on the communication -- not to get a result from her, but to just get your head under control. You are an absolute mess right now because you have no focus, no foundation, nothing. It's time to take a timeout and sit the next few plays off. No more talking to her today -- you need a good night sleep and to relax. You are basically acting like a paranoid cokehead desperately searching for a fix. Trust me I know. My point is, not giving a goodnight comes off as emotional, and somethings up. She'd obviously expect one (yeah, she should initiate, but still). OK, give her a goodnight tonight, then leave it up to her to initiate from here on out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Ughhhhhhh. Talk is cheap. If she says good morning, say good morning back, then go on with your day. This ain't rocket science. Like I said about goodnights, going through the whole day, and not messaging her anything would come off like I'm being emotional or somethings up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Also, I wanna ask her why her FB profile isn't activated (possibly has me blocked so I can't see anything), and his is too. She told me she deactivated it, but why is his also? Somethings fishy about that. Right when she called that day, I noticed both of their profiles like that. What if she possibly told him to deactivate it, because they were fighting about him flirting with girls on there, and she left because of that, and now his is deactivated to prove to her, and she's talking to him as we speak. Ya see all these thoughts racing in my mind? Not healthy ya'll. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Like I said about goodnights, going through the whole day, and not messaging her anything would come off like I'm being emotional or somethings up. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking. Dude, you really need to stop trying to put up a front. A self-assured person does what they do for their own reasons instead of trying to jump through hoops to project a certain look. I mean, this is going to blow up in your face quick because you are fidgety. Stop trying to play games, stop trying to project an image you aren't projecting. Chill. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Maybe she's using me for comfort and an ego boost, and plans on working things out with him later on, if he acts right, but using me for the time being. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Dude, you really need to stop trying to put up a front. A self-assured person does what they do for their own reasons instead of trying to jump through hoops to project a certain look. I mean, this is going to blow up in your face quick because you are fidgety. Stop trying to play games, stop trying to project an image you aren't projecting. Chill. But not saying goodnight is a game. It comes off as not self assured like I'm not comfortable to say an innocent goodnight. In the end, it is all a game. I have to put on a front for the time being. You said don't be emotional. I'm showing emotions by not doing certain little things. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Maybe she's using me for comfort and an ego boost, and plans on working things out with him later on, if he acts right, but using me for the time being. Overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking overthinking. Come on man, you have no idea what she's thinking, so stop trying to guess. You need to worry about how to manage your thoughts and feelings, not hers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 But not saying goodnight is a game. It comes off as not self assured like I'm not comfortable to say an innocent goodnight. In the end, it is all a game. I have to put on a front for the time being. You said don't be emotional. I'm showing emotions by not doing certain little things. If you want to say goodnight, say goodnight. If you don't, don't. But do it because it's something you want to do, not because you are trying to project something. You're being way too weird about this, which is the problem. A goodnight text message is not worthy of this type of mental anguish. Holy Christ, you are turning a text message goodnight into a nuclear missile launch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 If you want to say goodnight, say goodnight. If you don't, don't. But do it because it's something you want to do, not because you are trying to project something. You're being way too weird about this, which is the problem. A goodnight text message is not worthy of this type of mental anguish. Holy Christ, you are turning a text message goodnight into a nuclear missile launch. I hate this whole situation. I wish she'd have just left me alone, and let me fully heal, and move on. It's just so coincidental that she contacts me after she breaks up with her recent BF, and says that it's because she wasn't over me. If she wasn't over me, wouldn't she want to talk to me all the time for the first few days? She has a whole day off, and she's not said anything besides when I texted her earlier. I mean think about it. She left him, because of me she says. She couldn't stop thinking about me, and misses me. Then why not go out of her way to speak with me? What's this take it slow crap? That's why I'm genuinely confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I hate this whole situation. I wish she'd have just left me alone, and let me fully heal, and move on. It's just so coincidental that she contacts me after she breaks up with her recent BF, and says that it's because she wasn't over me. If she wasn't over me, wouldn't she want to talk to me all the time for the first few days? She has a whole day off, and she's not said anything besides when I texted her earlier. I mean think about it. She left him, because of me she says. She couldn't stop thinking about me, and misses me. Then why not go out of her way to speak with me? What's this take it slow crap? That's why I'm genuinely confused. You're confused because your focus is completely wrong. You are trying to figure out what she's doing. You have to figure out what you are doing and your own emotions. And honestly -- it's not on her for "not leaving you alone", that's not her job. It's not her job to do what's best for you -- that's your job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 You're confused because your focus is completely wrong. You are trying to figure out what she's doing. You have to figure out what you are doing and your own emotions. And honestly -- it's not on her for "not leaving you alone", that's not her job. It's not her job to do what's best for you -- that's your job. What do you think is best for me? Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I hate this whole situation. I wish she'd have just left me alone, and let me fully heal, and move on. It's just so coincidental that she contacts me after she breaks up with her recent BF, and says that it's because she wasn't over me. If she wasn't over me, wouldn't she want to talk to me all the time for the first few days? She has a whole day off, and she's not said anything besides when I texted her earlier. I mean think about it. She left him, because of me she says. She couldn't stop thinking about me, and misses me. Then why not go out of her way to speak with me? What's this take it slow crap? That's why I'm genuinely confused. I honestly think you need to take a few days and step away completely from this situation until you are thinking more clearly. If she texts, respond politely but spend your time getting your head in a better place where you aren't analyzing and guessing about everything. Step away and do other things, catch your breath, seriously. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 What do you think is best for me? To step away from this situation and get yourself under control. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 I honestly think you need to take a few days and step away completely from this situation until you are thinking more clearly. If she texts, respond politely but spend your time getting your head in a better place where you aren't analyzing and guessing about everything. Step away and do other things, catch your breath, seriously. To step away from this situation and get yourself under control. I don't have a few days. That's the thing. Is a "new relationship" worth all this mental stress? I think I made a mistake in picking up the phone when I thought I was ready to just be cool, and calm. I'm gonna give her a call, and tell her what needs to happen. Not in a confrontational way, but a sincere, and honest way. I've done this before, and she still comes back, but this time I need to really let her know. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 And why don't you have a few days exactly? That's the panic talking. It's an LDR at best -- it's not like you'd be able to take her out anytime soon anyway, so what's the hurry? You are being exceptionally weird and panicky about this. I'm not saying to be mean, but it's like talking to a mental patient right now. Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 What do you think is best for me? Decaf. Sorry, I had to. Buddy, you have got to chill. Bigtime. If she senses even in the slightest what you are portraying here, your goose is cooked. And I don't mean that she is going to bail on you, but she will without a doubt use you as an emotional tampon. Back way, way, off right now, and get your head straight. Promise yourself right now that anything you do regarding communicating with her will be because it is something you want to do for no other reason but to just be polite. No games. No digging for info. No trying to sooth you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 And why don't you have a few days exactly? That's the panic talking. It's an LDR at best -- it's not like you'd be able to take her out anytime soon anyway, so what's the hurry? You are being exceptionally weird and panicky about this. I'm not saying to be mean, but it's like talking to a mental patient right now. Decaf. Sorry, I had to. Buddy, you have got to chill. Bigtime. If she senses even in the slightest what you are portraying here, your goose is cooked. And I don't mean that she is going to bail on you, but she will without a doubt use you as an emotional tampon. Back way, way, off right now, and get your head straight. Promise yourself right now that anything you do regarding communicating with her will be because it is something you want to do for no other reason but to just be polite. No games. No digging for info. No trying to sooth you. And guess what guys......called her a few minutes ago. I told her I needed to talk. She knew about what. I asked her what exactly this is. She was silent. I asked her why both her and her ex's FB's are deactivated (fishy), and I said let's just get this over with. She says, let's do this later. I ask why. She says because she needs to talk. I ask to who? She says her EX!!! I sigh, and I tell her I knew this is what it was the whole time. She says no! I'm not getting back with him at all! This is like when me and you broke up, and we had our closure talk. She said she'll call later tonight. Ya see guys. That's some BS. I knew something was up when she didn't wanna talk all day, and she was replying so late. She was probably talking with him the whole time, and he was probably begging his way back. And even if she might be telling the truth, how can I trust her now? She could have told me he was outside her house, or that they were talking. Ya see guys! You can't suggest someone's crazy unless you're in there shoes, and can FEEL that sense going off in their head that somethings up. Ah well, gonna wait for her call, and see what happened, and give her a talk. Have a feeling it's gonna go like this, "sigh*......(my name), I'm sorry, but me and him are back together....." or something like that. I have a feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Or this: "(my name).......sigh*......we can't talk anymore." Link to post Share on other sites
idoltree Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I don't have a few days. That's the thing. Is a "new relationship" worth all this mental stress? I think I made a mistake in picking up the phone when I thought I was ready to just be cool, and calm. I'm gonna give her a call, and tell her what needs to happen. Not in a confrontational way, but a sincere, and honest way. I've done this before, and she still comes back, but this time I need to really let her know. You have a few days. You have all the time in the world. Do not call her. Did you not learn in NC that the best part is that doing nothing means that you can do nothing wrong? You're like the pre-NC person right now; in pain, reacting emotionally and taking action that they later regret. Patience, time and self-soothing are your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Ducktape Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Man... You're a mess. This was all too soon for you, you really were not in the right place emotionally to handle that situation. And as much as people tried to help you, you went and did everything you wanted to do in a panic anyway. No matter how much people are telling you to chill, take a step back... You just act on your feelings. She's gonna call you back and you're gonna blow it again. Can't you see the problem here? You lose her because you took her for granted and stopped trying. And now you'll lose her because you're needy, clingy and insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 You have a few days. You have all the time in the world. Do not call her. Did you not learn in NC that the best part is that doing nothing means that you can do nothing wrong? You're like the pre-NC person right now; in pain, reacting emotionally and taking action that they later regret. Patience, time and self-soothing are your friends. Read my post above.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Man... You're a mess. This was all too soon for you, you really were not in the right place emotionally to handle that situation. And as much as people tried to help you, you went and did everything you wanted to do in a panic anyway. No matter how much people are telling you to chill, take a step back... You just act on your feelings. She's gonna call you back and you're gonna blow it again. Can't you see the problem here? You lose her because you took her for granted and stopped trying. And now you'll lose her because you're needy, clingy and insecure. Read my post above. I might have never had her this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Ducktape Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Read my post above. I might have never had her this time. My post is a direct reply to that post you are referring to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tikay00 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) My post is a direct reply to that post you are referring to. What would be the point in playing it cool, if she is probably playing with me???? When she calls, I'm gonna ask what happened, and take it from there. I'm not gonna blow anything. I'm gonna tell her to be real with me, and give me honesty. My hearts not something I can afford to give away, and then it ends up being nothing. Edited January 7, 2015 by tikay00 Link to post Share on other sites
Ducktape Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 What would be the point in playing it cool, if she is probably playing with me???? You don't even know yet what is up. And eve if something was up, you don't have the right attitude. You're not telling yourself "If it works, it works, if it doesn't, it doesn't." ... You're heart is already 100% in it and acting like she was yours and everything. People told you to get to know her again, view it as a new relationship, act as if you were dating her all over again. You just jumped in full steam psycho mode trying to play games, decipher all her messages and such. Who cares what she is doing. The problem is what YOU are doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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