LoveOneAnother Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 My boyfriend parties a lot and has a lot of female friends. Sometimes, I worry that he might cheat on me. How would I know? I figure that SOMEBODY would tell me about it, right??? Or is it really, "the wife is always the last to know?" How do you know for sure. What signs are you to look for? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveOneAnother Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 I just found this section after doing this on another post. Sorry about the double post. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Nobody will tell you. If you don't trust your bf, you've got to develop a way to tell if he's lying to you or not. I can tell when my fiancee's lying to me. I've caught her in a few relatively "innocent" lies, and since then she's been totally open with me because I can't stand lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Sometimes people do tell and the betrayed person doesn't believe it. One of my Exh's best friends tried to kiss me one night at a party and I told his wife. Of course he denied it and she believed him. It strained our friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveOneAnother Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 What a disapointment! I've made it clear to all of my friends and family that if I were ever cheated on, I would like to know. I hope they will respect my wishes. I can see why people would be hesitant to tell, but I feel that if a person is my true friend, they will tell. Afterall, its not just about cheating, its playing with health too. (HIV, STD's) It could always be done in secrecy. If Im ever in the situation, I will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
deesgirl Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 Probably not. My ex cheated on me. His mother, friends, our neighbors, everybody knew. No one told me until I figured it out. Then they all came running to tell me about it. It made me so angry and hurt that they all let me be a fool. If they are cheating, you can usually feel it or you pick up on subtle signs. Do your own snooping if you don't trust your gut instinct. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 All I can say is that you can never rely on someone else to tell you!!!! You will have to find out on your own, plus never believe it until you see it with your own eyes!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 There are lots of theories about it, but basically the closer the people to you the more chances for them to tell you. Your mother or sister would tell you right away, right? Your friends...maybe. His friends or mutual acquaintances probably never. I understand that you don't trust a guy who parties all the time. I was talking to my BF last night about it and he said that it's easy to cheat in a long-distance relationship (as ours). I told him it wasn't true, because he spends Fridays and Saturdays with me online and all the other nights, except some holidays. Plus he doesn't drink at all. But most of all, I feel that he is a reliable and honest person and that I can trust him. I feel how much he loves me; he is very dedicated to me and passionate about me. I am also the kind of woman that trusts the guy until he proves he is not worth it. It's not good to not trust your BF unless he is really suspicious. Personally I think jealousy is cute (to a certain extent, of course), but if you show your BF that you don't trust him, that might ruin your relationship. If he seems to you like he doesn't deserve to be trusted then you shouldn't be in a relationship like that in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
roxy_1980 Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 The only time I was ever told about my bf cheating on me was by my best friend. He was at a party at my best friend's house (i had traffic court the next day) and screwed some jailbait in the bathroom. He begged my friend not to tell me. She picked me over him. The person has to have more loyalty to you than the cheater. The others I had to figure out by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
bubblygrl5 Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 A family member or your best friend will tell you...basically the people who are on "your" side. His friends, even if they are your friends now...probably won't. It's sad...but ppl don't want to get mixed up in it. My bf cheated...another friend was traveling with him when he was cheating...and she never bothered to tell me anything. I guess she was one of "his". Bubbly Link to post Share on other sites
harleygirl92156 Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 The answer is NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! The whole town, people at work, people in surrounding towns, all the local bar people, knew my husband was cheating on me for over a year and I was not told, hinted at or even given any clue it was going on. He was open with it at work, they were in the bar together dancing and making out and they would leave together to have sex in her van for hours leaving his pickup parked in front of the bar in case I came looking for him, then they would come back and party some more. Everyone knew and no one said a word so if you are waiting around for someone to tell you what he is doing, QUIT waiting and find out for yourself. Check up on him, show up when he doesn't expect it. If you suspect he is cheating there is a pretty good chance your right. Don't sit by passively waiting for someone to come and tell you, they won't, get busy and find out for yourself. If you need some pointers I have them, a million of them. Caught mine!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Several of my friends found out my almost-ex-wife was cheating on me. They discussed amongst themselves what they should do. Ultimately, two of them cornered her and told her that they knew what she was doing. They told her that she was to stop immediately, and threatened her that if they ever found out that she'd done it again, they would come to me first. I don't know if that was the best thing to do or not, but I don't envy them. They were her friends too (past tense) so they were in a totally sh*tty situation. I relayed this story to my sister after the ex and I split up. She said, "if it was me, I'd have gone to you. But that's just me. I hope I'm never put in that position." What my friends didn't know was that it was only the most recent of many that they DIDN'T know about. Link to post Share on other sites
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