MadJackBird Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 OP, To get back to the original post. I agree with so many of the other posters here. You have enough evidence already. Your husband has shown a pattern of cheating in the past and that doesn't just go away. I feel for you too because I see a lot of my own story in your story. My former wife had some red flags before we were married that I sort of ignored. 4 Affair partners later I realize I should have left long ago. I also had an HSV-1 scare as well. My former wife contracted HSV-1 in her genitals and blamed me for passing it onto her. The whole time pretending not to know how she might have contracted it and feeling oh so ashamed. When in reality she was in the midst of an affair and put me at risk. I did get tested and have HSV-1 as oral cold sores. I never remember having them before, but according to her gas-lighting story she blames me for giving it to her when in reality it could very well have been the other way around. HSV-1 vs. HSV-2 doesn't really matter, both are easily passed on with physical contact. Whatever excuse he is making doesn't really matter, get out and don't let him gaslight you in thinking it is YOUR fault for whatever reason. A lot of WS have this way of twisting the truth/gaslighting. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I think you doing the right things. So many people don't even question things and I am always glad to see someone else standing up for there rights. Just because people are in a relationship does not mean someone should be less than or treated poorly. Take your time and figure out exactly what you want to do. I would also gather as many supporters to help you through this time. I hope your doing better today. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 ^^^ it's definitely up for consideration, BH! I caught my wife by using a GPS in her car. On the first download, I discovered that she'd been at a hotel from 10pm to midnight when she was supposed to be at work. They're very effective in determining if your spouse is where they say they are (and where they actually are, of course). They're just typically more expensive than a VAR, particularly if you want one that does "live" tracking instead of one that you retrieve and download the travel data. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I never had to lay any traps. My xW was completely stupid. She would send emails to the OM she was talking to and mistype there email address. I ran the email server at my work and her rejected emails would get sent to my email box. The last time I caught her she was on the phone with the guy and I had to work on the voice gateway. I called her and she lied about who she was talking to. I called her on her lie and she just kept trying to cover her tracks. I threw her out that next Monday. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Now the fun part. The clincher here for me is, ~ a month ago he presented with blisters on his privates.. turned out to be herpes - I had to insist he get it checked out and got myself checked out. I do not test positive for it, but he does. It IS possible he had this for years and did not know, but his reactions around this outbreak have been .. peculiar to say the least. So... now my radar is really, really, 'on'. And since I am currently (it appears) not infected with what he's got, I intend to, well, take precaution that I remain that way!!! HSV1 causes the familiar cold sore in the oral region, the virus retreats into the nerves of the oral region when dormant but intermittently causes blistering usually of the mouth, nose or lips. The virus is activated by :- General illness (from mild illnesses to serious conditions) Fatigue Physical or emotional stress Immunosuppression due to AIDS or such medications as chemotherapy or steroids Trauma to the affected area, including sexual activity. Menstruation Type 2 is similarly activated, only it is usually seen on the genitals, with the virus retreating into the nerves that supply the genital region. The first outbreak is often the worst with blistering and pain. Some people can experience discharge from the vagina or penis and have difficulty peeing. "To find out if you have genital herpes, a doctor can take a sample from a sore and test it in the laboratory. There is also a blood test that looks for antibodies to the virus that your immune system would have made. HSV-2 almost always infects the genitals, so if antibodies to HSV-2 are detected in your blood, you probably have genital herpes. A blood test that shows antibodies to HSV-1 means you could have genital or oral herpes. That's because oral herpes, typically caused by HSV-1, can be spread to the genitals during oral sex."Herpes simplex virus: Type 1 and Type 2 Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment So whlst it is possible your husband contracted HSV1 of the genitals from oral sex, before he met you, the fact it is a new complaint is a bit worrying. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Another thing I have learnt from LS is that there is no need to "prove" or produce evidence to your husband, that he cheated. Many cheaters demand "proof" of their cheating from the BS, but he already knows he has cheated. The only person you need to provide "proof" for, is yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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