I dont think she's into me anymore

[Ready2DateAgain]

I was talking to this girl I met on POF for a cool 10 days now,we would talk for hours the first few day,now I can barely get her to text back,although we are still on plans for a date tomorrow,I just don't feel like she even cares anymore,like maybe she's talking to someone else now ,or maybe it's the fact she is unemployed and could be dealing with that stress,IDK what to think of it,all I know is if the date is still on I would be so full of energy ,positive energy and hopes that maybe my attitude would re-spark the chemistry we were once sharing.

[Danda]

Remember that in general, only with special exceptions aside, women warm up romantically much slower than men do.

 

Men tend to be a lot more superficial initially, which doesn't make men more superficial across the board, only that the superficial comes first and tends to be strong, probably just an evolutionary necessity to get yall to pursue and such.

 

Whereas women tend to be more cautious and aloof in general, but will steadily grow attraction more and more over time towards the right guy. And again it's probably an evolutionary thing, as far as being selective for a proper provider/protector for offspring.

 

And again, just generalizations, but this is the norm, and it tends to all take place on a very subconscious primal level.

 

If a woman is very responsive initially I think it's often because we want to make it clear that we want you to pursue us, because on top of all things instinctive, we also know that in present day society, a lot of men are no longer confident and sure about approaching/pursuing women. We know we've gotta make those green lights clear for yall.

 

But once a date is secured, meaning that you know that she wanted you to pursue and it happened, then women can go back into a more instinctive mode of caution.

 

It doesn't necessarily indicate a drop in interest level. It's more like she probably went out of her natural comfort zone to help give you clear green lights and then retreated back to that natural comfort zone.

 

And yes she is probably talking to other guys, just as you should still talk to other gals if you are interested in them.

[Ready2DateAgain]

Remember that in general, only with special exceptions aside, women warm up romantically much slower than men do.

 

Men tend to be a lot more superficial initially, which doesn't make men more superficial across the board, only that the superficial comes first and tends to be strong, probably just an evolutionary necessity to get yall to pursue and such.

 

Whereas women tend to be more cautious and aloof in general, but will steadily grow attraction more and more over time towards the right guy. And again it's probably an evolutionary thing, as far as being selective for a proper provider/protector for offspring.

 

And again, just generalizations, but this is the norm, and it tends to all take place on a very subconscious primal level.

 

If a woman is very responsive initially I think it's often because we want to make it clear that we want you to pursue us, because on top of all things instinctive, we also know that in present day society, a lot of men are no longer confident and sure about approaching/pursuing women. We know we've gotta make those green lights clear for yall.

 

But once a date is secured, meaning that you know that she wanted you to pursue and it happened, then women can go back into a more instinctive mode of caution.

 

It doesn't necessarily indicate a drop in interest level. It's more like she probably went out of her natural comfort zone to help give you clear green lights and then retreated back to that natural comfort zone.

 

And yes she is probably talking to other guys, just as you should still talk to other gals if you are interested in them.

 

well I will talk to other gals if I meet another one,but she's more than likely talking to them from POF and I got fed up of POF so I deleted my account .but like I just said ,I will go out more now and meet woman the old fashioned way.

[Danda]

well I will talk to other gals if I meet another one,but she's more than likely talking to them from POF and I got fed up of POF so I deleted my account .but like I just said ,I will go out more now and meet woman the old fashioned way.

 

That's a very good idea, for sure. You wanna try not to hone in strong on a woman until you've been on a few dates and feel much more confident that there is chemistry. If the chemistry is there and she's giving you clear signals it's mutual, then by all means feel free to hone in strong, as it will probably significantly increase your chances anyway (since women are intuitive and combined with jealousy once we start to feel attached, it can be some serious waters you're crossin haha). But until that happens never limit yourself, just leaves you feeling depressed and angry if it doesn't work out.

[Ready2DateAgain]

That's a very good idea, for sure. You wanna try not to hone in strong on a woman until you've been on a few dates and feel much more confident that there is chemistry. If the chemistry is there and she's giving you clear signals it's mutual, then by all means feel free to hone in strong, as it will probably significantly increase your chances anyway (since women are intuitive and combined with jealousy once we start to feel attached, it can be some serious waters you're crossin haha). But until that happens never limit yourself, just leaves you feeling depressed and angry if it doesn't work out.

 

I just have the habits of putting all my eggs in one basket and then suddenly poooof ! She's gone like the wind!

we were jelling last wk,chemistry was flowing on the phone that it's shocking to see that she is back peddling. I could be over thinking here,I got a date coming so I have a chance to dazzle her

[Ready2DateAgain]

she confirmed to me last night that she was no longer interested,because I had said something she did not like,so I took my bags of pride and moved on. I left her a text simply thanking her and that I wish her the best.She replied by wishing me the best also.

After about a hour she responded again telling me how she really liked me but that she was turned off but that she wants to bbe friends before we start dating,I know she wants to get to know me more and I gladly accepted.

I'm just going to have to treat her as a friend for now and see what occurs,I can honestly say I don't care as much anymore

[toscaroscura]

My advice is not to wait so long before the first date. The fact that she was kind of hemming and hawing and saying she wants to get to know you (God knows how long) tells me she's probably not that interested in this whole dating thing.

[Ready2DateAgain]

well if she wasn't then she should had just not text me back telling me that she likes me,should have left me alone after we mutually agreed to not talk to each other. so what now? what does one do ?

[toscaroscura]

well if she wasn't then she should had just not text me back telling me that she likes me,should have left me alone after we mutually agreed to not talk to each other. so what now? what does one do ?

 

I mean, talk with her if you want, but I still think she's a dead end and possibly only lonely and looking for attention at this point.

 

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

[Ready2DateAgain]

32 and she's 33

[DivorcedDad123]

She just found someone else she's more interested in,more than likely. The whole "friend" thing is to keep you on the backburner in case it doesn't work out like she expects.

My advice is to cut all ties with her. Don't play second best and don't fall for the mind games. You are only stroking her ego at this point.

[Ready2DateAgain]

She just found someone else she's more interested in,more than likely. The whole "friend" thing is to keep you on the backburner in case it doesn't work out like she expects.

My advice is to cut all ties with her. Don't play second best and don't fall for the mind games. You are only stroking her ego at this point.

 

I'm thinking the same too

[toscaroscura]

Yikes, alrighty then. Sorry, but at 33 she should not be behaving like a skittish high school girl.

 

Consider this: one of the lessons I had to learn was that all that jelling and over-the-phone or texting "chemistry" is very easy to manufacture.

 

Men I thought I had amazing connections with would go "poof" too. It was never real on their end.

 

The facts are she wasn't interested in meeting you and conveniently back-peddled when the date was imminent. She told you point-blank she wasn't interested in you any more. And now she's fishing to keep attention going. I'd just ignore her and move on. You deserve someone who is excited about you.

[MidwestUSA]

This often happens when you spend hours texting/talking with someone before meeting them.

 

Get that first date in as quickly as possible, otherwise the expectations build up in your head, and the truth may not be as pretty.

[Ready2DateAgain]

Yikes, alrighty then. Sorry, but at 33 she should not be behaving like a skittish high school girl.

 

Consider this: one of the lessons I had to learn was that all that jelling and over-the-phone or texting "chemistry" is very easy to manufacture.

 

Men I thought I had amazing connections with would go "poof" too. It was never real on their end.

 

The facts are she wasn't interested in meeting you and conveniently back-peddled when the date was imminent. She told you point-blank she wasn't interested in you any more. And now she's fishing to keep attention going. I'd just ignore her and move on. You deserve someone who is excited about you.

 

I should add that she's separated for a few yrs now but has not filed a divorce due to IRS reasons ,she currently live with her mother and father and is unemployed,despite all that bad crap I was cool enough to over look it.

[SJC2008]

I should add that she's separated for a few yrs now but has not filed a divorce due to IRS reasons ,she currently live with her mother and father and is unemployed,despite all that bad crap I was cool enough to over look it.

 

Lol only online would a woman in her shoes have the options to deal break people. That's not to say she should date anyone but I hope tall know what I mean.

 

Did she tell you what turned her off?

[DivorcedDad123]

I'd say you dodged a bullet then. On to better prospects!

[Ready2DateAgain]

Lol only online would a woman in her shoes have the options to deal break people. That's not to say she should date anyone but I hope tall know what I mean.

 

Did she tell you what turned her off?

 

I was pretty drunk on New Yrs Eve and I over dialed her phone

[Ready2DateAgain]

Lol only online would a woman in her shoes have the options to deal break people. That's not to say she should date anyone but I hope tall know what I mean.

 

Did she tell you what turned her off?

 

funny how we men have to be perfect when they are full of flaws

[SJC2008]

I was pretty drunk on New Yrs Eve and I over dialed her phone

 

Depending on how much you over dialed that could do it for a lot of people. Either way, don't do OLD. The multiple rejections you (most men) have to go through isn't worth the hit on your psyche.

[Ready2DateAgain]

Depending on how much you over dialed that could do it for a lot of people. Either way, don't do OLD. The multiple rejections you (most men) have to go through isn't worth the hit on your psyche.

 

she and I are still communicating back and forth but I came to a conclusion to retreat ,I notice she still logs on POF every day so for her to have tell me to lets be friends before we go out on dates was a pathetic move on her end,she tells me she really likes me but her getting back on POF tells me she's full of it,on top of that she went out last night,why in hell would you be going out if you're cash strap for money and have no job,I'm starting to realize this girls priorities are not on the right track.

And I also agree with you OLD is a hit to the psyche ,all my serious relationships I met in person and simply starting a conversation. It's the only way a woman will get to read your energy right off the bat as oppose to what you look like in pictures.

[Ready2DateAgain]

Depending on how much you over dialed that could do it for a lot of people. Either way, don't do OLD. The multiple rejections you (most men) have to go through isn't worth the hit on your psyche.

 

also if I indeed over did it why the hell would you still contact me and she still continues to do so.

[preraph]

Why in God's name would you keep dialing anyone over and over again? That would set off a big red flag to any woman. She probably had plans, number one, it being NYE, so you were interrupting her. The maximum number of calls/messages should have been one until she responded under ANY circumstances at any time, and you shouldn't have expected a return response until the next day. To keep calling someone like that is sophomoric and controlling and disrespectful and desperate. So look no further for why she's outta here.