Yup OLD still a waste of time

[normal person]

I've had a few long distance relationships before but when it comes to meeting women here in LA I pretty much strike out every time other than a few I knew long back in high school which are all married by now and have kids.

Maybe it is the location that's the problem but then again I'm still not sure.

 

I could try and workout harder maybe to improve in that sense but other than that I'm pretty lost.

 

I used to live in LA and while I never tried OLD dating there, the real life scene was light years worse than it is here in NYC. For one, men outnumber women there by a significant margin so the cards are already stacked against you. What're you doing there to meet girls? Are you hanging out in youthful, hip places? Silver Lake, Echo Park? Hell, even Hollywood? You also should have something to offer, something special, different, or intriguing about you. Working out would certainly help but in LA, you probably need more feathers in your cap than that to turn some heads.

[Bellaisa]

I fear perhaps the obesity epidemic in the US really has lowered the standard for men since most average women are now 20lbs heavier than what they used to be.

 

Lowered the standard? I think that if your standard is based on how big a woman is, then THAT may be the reason you are not finding someone who makes you happy.

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't find someone who lives a healthy life as you do - I'm just saying that the way you are talking makes it seem that your problem runs deeper than just finding a 'decent' woman on a dating site.

[Frank2thepoint]

It's actually one of my greatest regrets as I could have used all that wasted time trying to meet people in the real world, even though that's not too different either.

 

You should have been meeting people offline/real world regardless if you are on OLD or not. OLD is there to complement not replace. Since you realize this now, then start with offline meeting immediately.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Tried it again for about 3 weeks messaged about 400 women and got a date with someone I wasn't compatible with. Been on off OLD like this for literally years and I'm starting to ask myself what's the point in even messaging people anymore. Practically anything else I do has a greater return than OLD even mowing a lawn for $1.

 

My conclusion is quite simply that OLD is a collection of unsatisfiable people for the most part not all, other wise they wouldn't be on there.

 

I workout and try and keep myself in really good shape and my only standard of was that I find a women who does the same but apparently that's a non existent needle in a haystack of haystacks.

 

I fear perhaps the obesity epidemic in the US really has lowered the standard for men since most average women are now 20lbs heavier than what they used to be.

 

I really have no choice but to stop doing OLD altogether been doing it for far too long with absolutely no results.

 

Anyone else experience this?

 

 

 

 

Do women ever do the actual math involved in a statement like this one?

 

 

 

This person claims to have messaged more women in about 20 days time than he has posted on Loveshack in five years, and would have everyone believe that he put his all into every one of those 20 messages per day (all of that while, of course, living the full and thriving life that tends to draw the attention of others).

 

 

O.L.D. remains the same as it has always been, and it is in fact the lack of serious effort put forth by most involved, which renders non-results such as those described here.

 

 

There is simply no chance that you or anybody else will ever get more out of O.L.D. than you are willing to put into your effort!!

[HazyCosmicJive]

Tried it again for about 3 weeks messaged about 400 women and got a date with someone I wasn't compatible with. Been on off OLD like this for literally years and I'm starting to ask myself what's the point in even messaging people anymore. Practically anything else I do has a greater return than OLD even mowing a lawn for $1.

 

I created a Match.com profile but I didn't post a picture and am not serious about using OLD. I never have in the past because I figured it would be a waste of time, which seems to be confirmed on this forum. I just did it on a lark and out of curiosity to see what was out there. The fact that you messaged 400 women seems really strange to me since in a 3 week period I think there were maybe 10 or so women who interested me.

 

My conclusion is quite simply that OLD is a collection of unsatisfiable people for the most part not all, other wise they wouldn't be on there.

 

Some of my matches were really beautiful women who lived in NYC. I am very skeptical about a beautiful woman living in NYC who has to resort to OLD. I'd think she'd have plenty of interested men. Also, a lot of the photos look too professional. I have to wonder how much of it is real and how much is just a hook.

 

I workout and try and keep myself in really good shape and my only standard of was that I find a women who does the same but apparently that's a non existent needle in a haystack of haystacks.

 

I fear perhaps the obesity epidemic in the US really has lowered the standard for men since most average women are now 20lbs heavier than what they used to be.

 

I agree with you here. It is shocking to me how many American women are incapable of keeping themselves in shape after their mid-20s. Even women who are barely 30 are already spreading. I know it's not politically correct to say it, but it's probably one of the reasons I'm still single that I refuse to lower my standards in that regard. I'm not even really that picky - all I want is a woman who is reasonably fit, cute (she doesn't have to be beautiful) and has a sweet personality. I don't care how large her breasts are, how much money she makes, if she has kids or not, or how tall she is. This shouldn't be too hard to find, but it is.

 

I really have no choice but to stop doing OLD altogether been doing it for far too long with absolutely no results.

 

Anyone else experience this?

 

This confirms my doubts about OLD. I never bothered with it and never will after reading this forum. All I can suggest is try to broaden your social circle as much as you can and hopefully you will meet someone. I think using OLD will just leave you frustrated and jaded. I'll probably still check it every now and then because I'm curious as to who's out there and what kind of activities women like to do. Even so, I'm not even sure how much of it is legit.

[kolleamm]

I'm gonna try out more meetup related stuff rather than online although I don't think I will ever likely fully quit it since my curiosity still gets the best of me ever now and then.

By far my biggest regret so far is passing up on the attractive women that have liked me offline in my previous years mainly from school. Now they are all married and most have kids.

 

My situation is what it is and I suppose I have to move past that somehow and keep trying.

[ascendotum]

Lowered the standard? I think that if your standard is based on how big a woman is, then THAT may be the reason you are not finding someone who makes you happy.

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't find someone who lives a healthy life as you do - I'm just saying that the way you are talking makes it seem that your problem runs deeper than just finding a 'decent' woman on a dating site.

 

I know its directed at the OP, but I dont fully get your point. If he was having trouble when he goes on dates with finding women he hit it off with on a personality level (chemistry) then I guess you could say that. I'm sure a lot of women here would argue that a woman's personality is not co-related with her waist size though. In this guy's case though he is not even getting to that stage to determine if he will be happy with the woman after meeting her... he is not getting to go on dates at all with the (non overweight) women on OLD. Yes he is limiting the women he meets based on their size as he wants someone physically compatible. You can bet your paycheck the women on OLD who go to gym and are in shape will be more fussy about the physiques of guys they decide to go on dates with. Having contacted 400 women, I don't think the limiting factor is on his side of the fence.

 

Someone who is overweight doesn't mean they aren't a decent person. Likewise someone who is short or skinny, but I don't think wanting someone who is physically compatible means they have a problem.

[Imported]

I am in agreement with everyone suggesting you try harder at finding someone offline.

 

I think a lot of women that don't go clubbing or to bars often, end up doing OLD and don't really want to do OLD, but are scratching their heads at how to meet guys. I think other guys don't really make that happen because there is OLD and that's an easy out to actually going up to women in person.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I am in agreement with everyone suggesting you try harder at finding someone offline.

 

I think a lot of women that don't go clubbing or to bars often, end up doing OLD and don't really want to do OLD, but are scratching their heads at how to meet guys. I think other guys don't really make that happen because there is OLD and that's an easy out to actually going up to women in person.

 

Yeah, seen it mentioned in their profiles quite often, "I'm not much into the bar scene...."

[FitChick]

kolleamm, paste the body of your profile here and let the women critique.

 

One problem in LA is that you might not make enough money for the caliber of women you are seeking.

[GildedLily]

I've had a few long distance relationships before but when it comes to meeting women here in LA I pretty much strike out every time other than a few I knew long back in high school which are all married by now and have kids.

Maybe it is the location that's the problem but then again I'm still not sure.

 

I could try and workout harder maybe to improve in that sense but other than that I'm pretty lost.

 

You are in LA, I used to live there and unless you are a wealthy man or HOT you can forget about dating very attractive/ attractive women there. I suggest going to the beach towns like Huntington and Redondo beach, possibly Manhattan beach. Stay far away from Newport / Orange County .

[GildedLily]

Also what are your weight standards for a woman? You mentioned most women are 20 lbs overweight, so if you see a woman who is 5' 7" and 125 lbs, does she need to weigh 105? The weight standards in LA are HOLLYWOOD standards which are actually maintained by the people there in very unhealthy ways behind the scenes ( using adderall, cocaine, starving and depravation diets) for a city ( I loved when I lived there) that is that health conscious; they are really not.

[Moy]

In my case, the biggest red flag was that I had to resort to OLD as a primary means of attempting to meet women due to being too afraid/shy to approach them in real life.

 

Also, an external need for validation meant that I was too needy and I ended up having my confidence destroyed when it got to the stage where I had 250lb mean girls snubbing me repeatedly. It left me feeling no good for anybody, so I gave up.

 

That's me in my avatar, so draw your own conclusions regarding my appearance!

[PegNosePete]

That's me in my avatar, so draw your own conclusions regarding my appearance!

You need to smile more!

[Moy]

You need to smile more!

 

I can do smile, but look at thread I started in this section of the forums and you'll see why. Am I really undateably ugly -for two years and counting- though? :/

[insert_name]

The thing that gets me is what a time sink it all is for very little return.

 

It takes time to personalise messages but for me even that pales into comparison with the endless cycle of first and second dates that go nowhere. To me if it doesnt achieve my goal of a kong term relationship then its pretty much been a waste of time. Of course I get more practice talking to women and such which is sort of a consolation but when you are meeting someone for the first time conversation inevitably gravitates around subjects related to what makes you tick so you end up covering the same ground with people. Ive been on 4 first dates in the last few months from OLD and I am fed up of those same conversations only to have to start all over again soon after.

 

By contrast the dates I have been on with girls I have met IRL have actually been better although ultimately still not resulting in anything. I guess because meeting someone out and about is unexpected and as such there is less pressure. Not knowing anything about that person also helps as there is more of a feeling of discovery. OLD dates always seem to go along the same lines really and its got boring real quick.

 

Problem is that I havent had the opportunity to meet women IRL apart from in the street on the way to work or when food shopping. It takes a lot of effort to keep on being social and ruthlessly trying to expand your social circle as well as an element of being in the right place and the right time. Basically, you wont meet people IRL unless you put serious effort in (especially if you have a job in a very male orientated industry).

 

OLD is like the fast food of dating- its low effort, low cost and gives you instant access to women although just like fast food they arent very good for you in the long run.

Edited January 8, 2015 by insert_name

[JuneJulySeptember]

Lowered the standard? I think that if your standard is based on how big a woman is, then THAT may be the reason you are not finding someone who makes you happy.

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't find someone who lives a healthy life as you do - I'm just saying that the way you are talking makes it seem that your problem runs deeper than just finding a 'decent' woman on a dating site.

 

Laugh my f*ckin a** off.

 

95% of women on Match.com screen for race and/or height.

 

So, how is a guy screening for weight any different? At least a woman can lose weight.

[Moy]

Laugh my f*ckin a** off.

 

95% of women on Match.com screen for race and/or height.

 

So, how is a guy screening for weight any different? At least a woman can lose weight.

 

Yep. Many women on dating sites want a man who is 'driven & ambitious' (rich) and as you say, screen for height....they don't date many of the available kindhearted George Costanza lookalikes, do they?

 

It astounds me how as men, we are supposed to just suck it up being rejected on our physical attributes over and over again - yet automatically run with open arms to any woman, regardless of her appearance, even if she is obese, purely because they are female and available. If we DARE to say a polite no thank you, we are instantly shamed as shallow cads!

[PegNosePete]

I can do smile, but look at thread I started in this section of the forums and you'll see why. Am I really undateably ugly -for two years and counting- though? :/

Nope, you just have a bad profile and/or photos.

I'd recommend a post in the profile reviews forum for your chosen dating site. Nice people there will give you lots of useful advice. We're not allowed to post personally identifying information on this forum so the advice we can offer is limited to fairly generic stuff.

[Moy]

Nope, you just have a bad profile and/or photos.

I'd recommend a post in the profile reviews forum for your chosen dating site. Nice people there will give you lots of useful advice. We're not allowed to post personally identifying information on this forum so the advice we can offer is limited to fairly generic stuff.

 

Thanks. Unfortunately, I've given up on OLD and I've deleted my profile.

[insert_name]

Laugh my f*ckin a** off.

 

95% of women on Match.com screen for race and/or height.

 

So, how is a guy screening for weight any different? At least a woman can lose weight.

 

Unfortunatrly its female privilege that women have the options to be able to do this. They won't admit it but thats what it boils down to.

 

Normal person is right that if you as a man fail at OLD then you have to see it for the competitive environment that it is and raise your game to suit. But if I were really to put in the effort required: travel the world, selfies with tigers, sky divjng shots, get ripped, get a six figure salary, I would be pissed right off to come back to OLD after all that and continue to fight with other guys over a woman who in all that time that I was improving has herself managed put on another 50lbs and thats the only change in lifestyle she brings to the table. These women of OLD have to put no effort in in order to attract the guys and its the guys who always have to raise their game just to scrap over the low quality- its not worth it.

 

The most extreme example of this is the single mother who lives in the shoe with her 20 kids, trawling Match for the hail mary pass of OLD: the white kinght with the 6 figure salary riding to the rescue on his Unicorn. If I was earning 6 figures I would not be going on OLD to try and meet someone!

[Moy]

Unfortunatrly its female privilege that women have the options to be able to do this. They won't admit it but thats what it boils down to.

 

Normal person is right that if you as a man fail at OLD then you have to see it for the competitive environment that it is and raise your game to suit. But if I were really to put in the effort required: travel the world, selfies with tigers, sky divjng shots, get ripped, get a six figure salary, I would be pissed right off to come back to OLD after all that and continue to fight with other guys over a woman who in all that time that I was improving has herself managed put on another 50lbs and thats the only change in lifestyle she brings to the table. These women of OLD have to put no effort in in order to attract the guys and its the guys who always have to raise their game just to scrap over the low quality- its not worth it.

 

The most extreme example of this is the single mother who lives in the shoe with her 20 kids, trawling Match for the hail mary pass of OLD: the white kinght with the 6 figure salary riding to the rescue on his Unicorn. If I was earning 6 figures I would not be going on OLD to try and meet someone!

 

In other words, you have to be Ryan Gosling just to win the right to COMPETE for the approval of Mama June Shannon. The effort required yields absolutely no reward. It's like being expected to study through Harvard just to qualify for a job burger flipping on minimum wage.

 

It simply isn't worth it, the nature of OLD and falsely inflated egos due to thirsty guys throwing around compliments that they don't even mean has priced most guys out of entering the market.

[PegNosePete]

Nope, that's totally false. I am heavily balding, rapidly approaching 40, normal looking, and divorced. It's not about what you've got, but how you package it. I've seen some excellent profiles from guys who are actually quite normal, but they have written it well so they sound like interesting, passionate people (as we ALL are).

 

But very few people actually listen to the advice of the successful, experienced guys on here. They prefer to join the OLD haters brigade, blame factors beyond their control, and make assumptions about all the women on there. It's easier to blame the system or other people than to bite the bullet, put in some effort, and follow advice.

[the tank]

What I learnt in 2014 is that online dating should not be take seriously unless the girl is into you

[LookAtThisPOst]

You're likely in the minority. Considering you're described appearance....it's likely hard to believe what you are saying is even true.

 

 

Nope, that's totally false. I am heavily balding, rapidly approaching 40, normal looking, and divorced. It's not about what you've got, but how you package it. I've seen some excellent profiles from guys who are actually quite normal, but they have written it well so they sound like interesting, passionate people (as we ALL are).

 

But very few people actually listen to the advice of the successful, experienced guys on here. They prefer to join the OLD haters brigade, blame factors beyond their control, and make assumptions about all the women on there. It's easier to blame the system or other people than to bite the bullet, put in some effort, and follow advice.