Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 I think people forget the internet is so much more then just OLD pick a hobby you like and find a blog site or go play some games or chat there are other ways to meet people on line all of witch I had luck with were straight up OLD never worked past a few awkward emails..one is a meat market the other is people sharing hobbies/time together basically its the on line equivalent to getting out and meeting people..lol Even though that sounds tedious it would probably work far better than any OLD site. Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Online dating is a crack up to me. I have an account, but it is just for entertainment purposes. Sometimes I like to send off the wall messages, and see if I get any replies. I have gotten a reply back from a 32 year old women the other day who said she wasn't interested in my profile because I wasn't an "8.5" lol. I sent mass messages out though, so it wasn't as if I had her in mind specifically. I was just trying to see how many dates I could maybe set up, and sent the same message to every person (control V !) The comment didn't really bother me that much, because even though being a little above average, I've still had some alright partners during my life. The thing with online dating, that I have personally discovered, is you need to have crazy good looks, or a crazy salary, which is fine. We live in a superficial culture, that is based on these things. No hate from my end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Even though that sounds tedious it would probably work far better than any OLD site. I met my current BF who I live with in a game we were both playing on line we met started chatting a year later met in rl and now live together. Its only as tedious as you make it really sure we didn't meet the next day but when we did we had a good foundation already built. The key is honesty when dealing with such things on line and I think you will find when its not a straight out "dating site" people tend to lie less cause the meat market environment is removed so your meeting people thu a mutual interest and there is less stress in that way. Again its the on line equivalent to getting out and meeting people in rl you just do it on line..lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 I met my current BF who I live with in a game we were both playing on line we met started chatting a year later met in rl and now live together. Its only as tedious as you make it really sure we didn't meet the next day but when we did we had a good foundation already built. The key is honesty when dealing with such things on line and I think you will find when its not a straight out "dating site" people tend to lie less cause the meat market environment is removed so your meeting people thu a mutual interest and there is less stress in that way. Again its the on line equivalent to getting out and meeting people in rl you just do it on line..lol I couldn't agree more! Removing the dating label helps tremendously because people don't hav to feel pressured into such a rash commitment. In a way I think OLD is almost like a search for the perfect person where as if you find them through other means like the one you mentioned, a connection is allowed to form with them since our defenses are lowered. After the connection has been built we then realize we don't have to have the perfection we were seeking and thus become greatful for what we have found. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Got dragged back to OLD by the first ever unsolicited message i have received on OK Cupid last night. It shows how jaded I am that I instantly thought "overweight, unattrative" and ignored the notification on my phone. I decided to do the due diligence this morning and sure enough, my cynicism was well rewarded. It was a nice, thiughtful message too. I want to reply and say thanks but no thanks in a nice way but the words sound hollow as it feels like the lack of attrsction for obvious reasons is the elephant in the room. Doing nothing also feels lame though. I get a dose of perspective when I consider that this is how an average looking girl feels when she sees thst shes got a new OLD message......and it turns out to be from me. *sigh* OLD sucks, most of us are tilting at windmills and there are far too many victims than there are victors. It would actually be quite flattering for me to get a message from a woman, doesn't matter what she looks like. It's quite difficult because I don't meet the parameters of what most women even search for, so I don't think my profile even comes up in searches, let alone someone seeing, clicking on it and liking it enough to message me. As for your dose of perspective, I agree. I'm not sure what to say about that except that I am in the same boat as you brother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 There's hope even if your not successful in attracting someone. Recently I've been focusing more on myself, I joined a card store tournament club. We basically play cards every week and I gotta tell you the experience so far has been great. I've made dozens of friends with a same common interest. I haven't even thought about women or even anything sexual for about a week. I hardly even logged onto any of my OLD dating accounts. Basically find something you love and do it because it sure does stand chance to be better than dating whether you believe it or not. Love isn't everything. Put your mind to work. Messaging people who will not respond to you until the end of time would drive anyone mad. There's more to life than scoring a person. Make life an adventure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Moy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Then don't use OLD. But you seem to have lots of excuses. Do you go to bars? Clubs? Meet ups? How else are you trying to meet girls? Will you go to bars and lament about those too? Do you try to get set up through friends? If you hate OLD, dont do it. But stop blaming it for your problems. It wont get you anywhere! Come on, cant you see that? My problem is that I'm too unattractive for anybody. I started a thread in the Transitioning/In Search Of section entitled 'Help, I've had all of the confidence knocked out of me' It's about a week old now and should answer your question somewhat. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 This card store. Is there women there playing with the men? There's hope even if your not successful in attracting someone. Recently I've been focusing more on myself, I joined a card store tournament club. We basically play cards every week and I gotta tell you the experience so far has been great. I've made dozens of friends with a same common interest. I haven't even thought about women or even anything sexual for about a week. I hardly even logged onto any of my OLD dating accounts. Basically find something you love and do it because it sure does stand chance to be better than dating whether you believe it or not. Love isn't everything. Put your mind to work. Messaging people who will not respond to you until the end of time would drive anyone mad. There's more to life than scoring a person. Make life an adventure. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 In another way of looking at it then, I wonder what percentage of the total number of people who have tried online dating got a relationship from it that lasted more than 6 months? I reckon that percentage would be shockingly low. Here you go: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481786-online-dating-did-does-work-you 28% are currently in a relationship from OLD. Over 50% gave one of the positive responses, 10% neutral and 30% negative. Shockingly high? Now you're going to tell me it's based on a small sample size - but 148 is a lot bigger than many adverts you see on TV claiming that 82% of women found the skin cream effective... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Moy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Here you go: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481786-online-dating-did-does-work-you 28% are currently in a relationship from OLD. Over 50% gave one of the positive responses, 10% neutral and 30% negative. Shockingly high? Now you're going to tell me it's based on a small sample size - but 148 is a lot bigger than many adverts you see on TV claiming that 82% of women found the skin cream effective... Any way of separating the male/female answers from that poll? I don't mean that to be facetious, men and women generally have differing experiences online, so it would be nice to see if that poll bucks the trend, so to speak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 This card store. Is there women there playing with the men? Nope just guys Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Nope just guys A....a comic shop then. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Here you go: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481786-online-dating-did-does-work-you 28% are currently in a relationship from OLD. Over 50% gave one of the positive responses, 10% neutral and 30% negative. Shockingly high? Now you're going to tell me it's based on a small sample size - but 148 is a lot bigger than many adverts you see on TV claiming that 82% of women found the skin cream effective... I'd like to see a poll where just the men answered Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 A....a comic shop then. ;-) Yup! You'd be surprised how detached you'd get from reality and especially women once you get more involved in those kind of games. I find it better at least then being home trying to score a chick online. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 In another way of looking at it then, I wonder what percentage of the total number of people who have tried online dating got a relationship from it that lasted more than 6 months? Good point...even when people do hook up, I figure people who are constantly in the online dating scene, that their relationships are fleeting and always on the look out for the bigger better deal. This is why I keep seeing the same faces in my area all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yup! You'd be surprised how detached you'd get from reality and especially women once you get more involved in those kind of games. I find it better at least then being home trying to score a chick online. Speaking of which, there is an exception in this case - :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Any way of separating the male/female answers from that poll? I don't mean that to be facetious, men and women generally have differing experiences online, so it would be nice to see if that poll bucks the trend, so to speak. Well, for every heterosexual relationship/date that a woman gets from OLD, a man also gets a relationship/date too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Good point...even when people do hook up, I figure people who are constantly in the online dating scene, that their relationships are fleeting and always on the look out for the bigger better deal. This is why I keep seeing the same faces in my area all the time. I do think a lot of relationships from old are STR rather than LTR. I remember reading an article in I think it was Psychology Today on the users of OLD and their satisfaction. It was quite a high level of dissatisfaction from memory something like 75%. I am sure quite a few people will get lots of dates and a number of flings and have a good time with those but will still be negative about it because they have not met the man/woman of their dreams that wants them or feel they had had to settle to results. Some of the female friends of mine have had a great time with OLD over the years when they weren't looking for their soul mate, but now as the liars/players/guys not looking for anything serious/less desirable/more older guys start to mount up they aren't so happy with it anymore, so they could easily say it sucks but its somewhat misleading as they had plenty of good fun times as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Here you go: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481786-online-dating-did-does-work-you 28% are currently in a relationship from OLD. Over 50% gave one of the positive responses, 10% neutral and 30% negative. Shockingly high? Now you're going to tell me it's based on a small sample size - but 148 is a lot bigger than many adverts you see on TV claiming that 82% of women found the skin cream effective... I was speaking in nebulous terms about the entire OLD-sphere. Obviously its impossible to get that sort of data. Given the number of guys who are out there complaining I would think the number would be far lower than 28%. I dont know if Im surprised or not that 28% on a relationship based forum had a good experience. Given that most of the world is not aware of this forum its hard to know how valuable that information is. Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Well, for every heterosexual relationship/date that a woman gets from OLD, a man also gets a relationship/date too. But that doesnt imply a unique relationship with a new guy each time. It could be a small percentage of guys succeeding in perpetuity. Im not sure I buy into the whole 80/20 theorem IRL that its 20% of the guys are servicing 80% of the women. It just seems unworkable. However I can quite well imagine that in OLD 80% of the women are after 20% of the guys. I think OLD is almost like a magical world where realism does not apply and the catalog aspect and proliferation of approaches by men create a situation where women will reject guys who they would be interested in were they to be approached by them in real life because they always feel that a better deal will be along in a minute. Given the dynamic that men typically are the ones approaching then they can usually be confident that this is the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Average non-movie star looking men can have relationships, however, sex only with hot women...yeah, not as easy for the average. That plays well in favor of women who do not go for the top 20%, because men go into relationships through sex and if there is scarcity, you can bag a good one that is overlooked by more shallow women. I did that and I couldn't be happier. I'm actually grateful for this situation, if all men could always have sex with all the hot women, none of them would go into a monogamous relationship and the situation is already pretty grim as it is. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Moy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 But that doesnt imply a unique relationship with a new guy each time. It could be a small percentage of guys succeeding in perpetuity. Im not sure I buy into the whole 80/20 theorem IRL that its 20% of the guys are servicing 80% of the women. It just seems unworkable. However I can quite well imagine that in OLD 80% of the women are after 20% of the guys. I think OLD is almost like a magical world where realism does not apply and the catalog aspect and proliferation of approaches by men create a situation where women will reject guys who they would be interested in were they to be approached by them in real life because they always feel that a better deal will be along in a minute. Given the dynamic that men typically are the ones approaching then they can usually be confident that this is the case. 80/20 you say? There's that okcupid article again, 80% of men deemed below average and all that... Your Looks and Your Inbox « OkTrends Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Speaking of which, there is an exception in this case - :laugh: That was hilarious!!!! haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author kolleamm Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 But that doesnt imply a unique relationship with a new guy each time. It could be a small percentage of guys succeeding in perpetuity. Im not sure I buy into the whole 80/20 theorem IRL that its 20% of the guys are servicing 80% of the women. It just seems unworkable. However I can quite well imagine that in OLD 80% of the women are after 20% of the guys. I think OLD is almost like a magical world where realism does not apply and the catalog aspect and proliferation of approaches by men create a situation where women will reject guys who they would be interested in were they to be approached by them in real life because they always feel that a better deal will be along in a minute. Given the dynamic that men typically are the ones approaching then they can usually be confident that this is the case. Not just the distorted reality, but the problem also lies in that women rarely due the messaging on that site. If they never message then how could they ever get rejected? If they never get rejected then how would they ever know what they can and can't have? And thus the OLD problem..."Prince Charming just hasn't messaged me yet but he's out there" Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 (edited) Not just the distorted reality, but the problem also lies in that women rarely due the messaging on that site. If they never message then how could they ever get rejected? If they never get rejected then how would they ever know what they can and can't have? And thus the OLD problem..."Prince Charming just hasn't messaged me yet but he's out there" If she never gets messaged by people she wants, she's rejected. For all the high standards that a girl is looking for, who the **** cares. Within the past 8 months or so, I went out on a few dates with 3 women I saw had OLD profiles. All three of them wanted white guys only (one of them was Asian, other two were white) that are taller than me (6' to 6'2 and above), made more money than me, did things I never did and other "standards" I didn't meet. I saw all of them around me in my day to day life. Two of them at the gym, one of them at her work. For all their talk about what they wanted in a guy online and the fact I didn't actually meet many of their standards, they were just goofy girls in person that were shy, awkward and happy I was talking to them. OLD is just a tool. It doesn't define anything. It's cool lots of single women are on it. The way I use it is to localize my search, filter it down to exactly what I want physically, see what's in my area and connect it to who I see in person. I think it's actually very useful. I compare it to the quote thefooloftheyear has, "Everybody has a plan till they get punched in the face'. Edited January 12, 2015 by Imported Link to post Share on other sites
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