Yup OLD still a waste of time

[ascendotum]

But that doesnt imply a unique relationship with a new guy each time. It could be a small percentage of guys succeeding in perpetuity.

 

Im not sure I buy into the whole 80/20 theorem IRL that its 20% of the guys are servicing 80% of the women. It just seems unworkable.

 

However I can quite well imagine that in OLD 80% of the women are after 20% of the guys. I think OLD is almost like a magical world where realism does not apply and the catalog aspect and proliferation of approaches by men create a situation where women will reject guys who they would be interested in were they to be approached by them in real life because they always feel that a better deal will be along in a minute. Given the dynamic that men typically are the ones approaching then they can usually be confident that this is the case.

 

My suspicion is that there is a bigger winner/loser ratio with OLD than IRL like you think as well. I dont know if it 80:20. Lots of women are not continually with someone when using OLD while players are always on the prowl and many are juggling multiples. Also depends if you look at it in terms of going out on dates, or sleeping with the woman or getting a relationship. That will alter the ratio. The more desirable guys will be getting the concentration of NSA. Some of the women on here have been on dozens & dozens of dates, so in that measure the ratio will be lower.

 

Some women will have dated/slept with a bunch of players and then get burned and also have higher expectations plus many have breaks from seeing anyone online. In the meantime those players will be continually sleeping with new women. Like some of the guys I know they always have a couple on the go or a new woman in play. Many people don't get it and view things in terms of LTRs and as you say unique relationships which would have made sense in 1950 but not now. The majority of women will have ONS/FWB/affairs/flings (with a smaller % of men and in a smaller period of time) between LTRs (the vast bulk of the men over the bulk of the time).

 

If you view it terms of the number of women a group of guys has slept with vs the number of LTRs you will get a very different ratio. I know two black dudes who between the two have slept with 550-600 women (so they claim, one is a BB and the other a DJ) There was the local footballer who made the bet with team mates to sleep with a 100 girls in 100 days from online (1 happy dude & 100 happy women). A girl recently died on a date using OLD where I live. I think she was just starting out using it and was described as a sweet wholesome girl. Did she go on a lunch date with a sweet wholesome guy. No she met a douchey body builder guy at his place who kept home vid & a journal of near 190 women he had slept with from OLD in past couple of yrs. Lots of women may only sleep with a handful of total man whore guys like this and spend most of their life in LTRs but it distorts the ratio. With OLD its really hard to say as many women will be cagey about giving out too much on their hookups. People will have different thoughts on it as seen in past threads.

Edited January 12, 2015 by ascendotum

[TigerLilly78]

Yup! You'd be surprised how detached you'd get from reality and especially women once you get more involved in those kind of games. I find it better at least then being home trying to score a chick online.

I actuialy had a gf who met her bf thu a gaming group kinda like D&D but not so there are females into this kinda stuff I think more now a days then before maybe..

[kolleamm]

I actuialy had a gf who met her bf thu a gaming group kinda like D&D but not so there are females into this kinda stuff I think more now a days then before maybe..

Oh no its a sausage fest trust me

[LookAtThisPOst]

I would have to say, with the amount of women stating "I'm not here for one night stands, FWB's, or a fling, if YOU are, then move on to the next profile."

 

I've seen this uttered by women on dating sites TONS of times, so I'm to assume that they are constantly bombarded by men wanting just sex...and nothing beyond that.

 

I've concluded if it's not that, then it's mostly consisting of socially inept people, people on the outs with their sig. other or spouse, reclusive types that don't bother with real life social interactivity (like Meetup.com), and also those who reject real life dating because, as they say, "The men in their area are usually someone they wouldn't date...so they just lock themselves up in their homes on a Sat. night, logged into the 5 dating sites they're signed up with, LOL.

 

Surprisingly, I have a date this weekend with a very attractive, intelligent woman that I met at a last minute Facebook get together at a picnic event.

 

It was a mix of members from Meetup as well, but she said she was a member, but hardly had a chance to attend events...so my timing was good obviously. Funnily enough, she isn't even on Facebook (bigger points in my book). LOL

 

I often wondered if she ever had done online dating, she'd likely completely overlook my initial message amongst the white noise of competitors.

 

Oh the irony of my experience and now with this as an outcome, online dating is looking like a fart in the wind.

 

My suspicion is that there is a bigger winner/loser ratio with OLD than IRL like you think as well. I dont know if it 80:20. Lots of women are not continually with someone when using OLD while players are always on the prowl and many are juggling multiples. Also depends if you look at it in terms of going out on dates, or sleeping with the woman or getting a relationship. That will alter the ratio. The more desirable guys will be getting the concentration of NSA. Some of the women on here have been on dozens & dozens of dates, so in that measure the ratio will be lower.

 

Some women will have dated/slept with a bunch of players and then get burned and also have higher expectations plus many have breaks from seeing anyone online. In the meantime those players will be continually sleeping with new women. Like some of the guys I know they always have a couple on the go or a new woman in play. Many people don't get it and view things in terms of LTRs and as you say unique relationships which would have made sense in 1950 but not now. The majority of women will have ONS/FWB/affairs/flings (with a smaller % of men and in a smaller period of time) between LTRs (the vast bulk of the men over the bulk of the time).

 

If you view it terms of the number of women a group of guys has slept with vs the number of LTRs you will get a very different ratio. I know two black dudes who between the two have slept with 550-600 women (so they claim, one is a BB and the other a DJ) There was the local footballer who made the bet with team mates to sleep with a 100 girls in 100 days from online (1 happy dude & 100 happy women). A girl recently died on a date using OLD where I live. I think she was just starting out using it and was described as a sweet wholesome girl. Did she go on a lunch date with a sweet wholesome guy. No she met a douchey body builder guy at his place who kept home vid & a journal of near 190 women he had slept with from OLD in past couple of yrs. Lots of women may only sleep with a handful of total man whore guys like this and spend most of their life in LTRs but it distorts the ratio. With OLD its really hard to say as many women will be cagey about giving out too much on their hookups. People will have different thoughts on it as seen in past threads.

[TigerLilly78]

Oh no its a sausage fest trust me

Well if that floats ur boat more power to ya..lol was just saying girls are also into that..

[LookAtThisPOst]

Well if that floats ur boat more power to ya..lol was just saying girls are also into that..

 

- We're the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy!

[No Limit]

Really surprised to read how much effort guys put into OLD.

I do wonder though if it's because you really believe you may find that "special someone" through the internet, or just because you don't want to get rejected irl or just want to date around outside of friend circle and aquaintances...?

[the tank]

I tried last year because it was a way no meet many woman after my tough break up. It was a not a waste of time because I had dates with few girls and learn better what I want, but I will not do it again. Some people expect during the first date to have firework .One of the problem is the high expectation that people create before going on the first date.

 

Also it feel weird that the girl you are dating still go online after fews dates (3-4) . (I know some guys do it but I talked about my experience). When you meet someone you like you must stop going online in my opinion... Anyway probably it because in Montreal we have so many options !

[PegNosePete]

Confirming D&D (and RPG in general) is a sausage fest.

 

I've never been in a game with a single girl. If a single girl did turn up, I expect she would be overrun with salivating sweaty geeks and be put off in minutes.

 

I've played a few with couples, but it always ruins the game. They can't detach their relationship from their characters, and expect their characters to treat each other like they do in real life. It's even worse if one of them (usually the guy) is the GM.

[insert_name]

Really surprised to read how much effort guys put into OLD.

I do wonder though if it's because you really believe you may find that "special someone" through the internet, or just because you don't want to get rejected irl or just want to date around outside of friend circle and aquaintances...?

 

The older you get the more your options decrease, my friends are all married and dont go out anymore so the bar scene is increasingly not an option. My friends dont really know any eligible women or wish to introduce me to them and to top it off I work in a male dominated industry so the opportunities I have to meet women are very limited so OLD is the main route to meeting women. Problem is the choice isnt great both for me and probably for them too and the mismatch in what we are both looking for is very disspiriting.

[TigerLilly78]

I also play D&D and it is definitely a sausage fest. I've even tried introducing women to the game and was only able to find one girl who could play it. Any guy expecting to meet women in a D&D game is setting themselves up for disappointment.

 

 

 

.

 

This wasn't exactly D&D it was another similar game but a bit different she also plays D&D I don't know I couldn't get into it the 1st thing my bf tried to do was hand me a huge rule book for D&D I looked thu it but eh if he asked again I would prob try to learn but would need a better teacher then a cold boring book...I know a few geek girls who like it tho im more of a gamer myself but yeah girls like this are kind of far and few but still out there..

[PegNosePete]

For someone getting into RPG I wouldn't recommend D&D, it's very rules heavy and dull with massive rulebooks. Although 4e is a lot easier to get into than 3.

 

Much better is something more story driven like the White Wolf stuff (Aberrant, Vampire, Werewolf, Hunter), or very simple systems such as Fudge.

 

Throwing you in with a huge boring rules book is the best way to put you off forever!

[No Limit]

Well, would you look at that.

 

Curiousity got the best of me and I made an account on my country's No. 1 online dating portal. I activated my e-mail address and then checked out some comments on Youtube, then went back to the OLD tab and apparently I've been messaged by 4 guys already. Without a profile picture (I won't upload a photo anyway) or any other data on my profile than the information that I'm female and the city I'm from. Holy *****.

 

edit;

 

For the sake of scientific research and the satisfaction of my own curiousity I made a male profile. Googled for a guy I know most ladies would fly on immediately - sunny boy type - took his photo - sorry, whoever you are - and nothing.

 

As for what is offered; on my female-account I'll admit that of the many male profiles I browsed through I'd consider a date with maybe 10% - 20%. Most of them have photos with terrible quality or are simply old and look like the type that I'd expect to drink every day, kind of worn-down. Due to my trust issues I'm afraid OLD will never be used by me anyway.

 

The offers on my male account on the other hand surprised me. So many women are there, with great photos. If I were a guy or bisexual I'd consider to date 80% - 90% of them all. And those few who 'didn't make it to the final round' were simply not considered because they had more of a punk-style, especially regarding their hair.

 

Weird really. I wouldn't expect most of those women to ever encounter any problem irl to get a man. Seriously, there were quite a number of pictures I'd take for models.

Edited January 14, 2015 by No Limit

[gaius]

Well, would you look at that.

 

Curiousity got the best of me and I made an account on my country's No. 1 online dating portal. I activated my e-mail address and then checked out some comments on Youtube, then went back to the OLD tab and apparently I've been messaged by 4 guys already. Without a profile picture (I won't upload a photo anyway) or any other data on my profile than the information that I'm female and the city I'm from. Holy *****.

 

edit;

 

For the sake of scientific research and the satisfaction of my own curiousity I made a male profile. Googled for a guy I know most ladies would fly on immediately - sunny boy type - took his photo - sorry, whoever you are - and nothing.

 

As for what is offered; on my female-account I'll admit that of the many male profiles I browsed through I'd consider a date with maybe 10% - 20%. Most of them have photos with terrible quality or are simply old and look like the type that I'd expect to drink every day, kind of worn-down. Due to my trust issues I'm afraid OLD will never be used by me anyway.

 

The offers on my male account on the other hand surprised me. So many women are there, with great photos. If I were a guy or bisexual I'd consider to date 80% - 90% of them all. And those few who 'didn't make it to the final round' were simply not considered because they had more of a punk-style, especially regarding their hair.

 

Weird really. I wouldn't expect most of those women to ever encounter any problem irl to get a man. Seriously, there were quite a number of pictures I'd take for models.

You should post a picture. And add a few paragraphs that show off how smart you are and how much you know, hopefully to help weed out the dummies. You're one of those women who's only single because you don't put yourself out there enough. Like my ex was when I found her.

[genuinelyloverly7]

I find OLD to be pretty slim pickin's, even as a reasonably attractive female. Why? Because I am pretty alt (alternative) in most areas of my life. Being on OKC (where I currently have a profile) is a big gamble, because almost NO-ONE matches even the most basic preferences I am looking for in my area, or on the whole dang web-site. I try both putting in exactly what I want, getting no matches, and try to lower my parameters and end up dating people who are antithetical to my whole life view.

I know I limit myself with all of my preferences, but if those preferences are more about lifestyle and not about material things like looks or income, then isn't it really just trying to find someone with whom you are compatible? I am not looking for someone who butters and cut's their toast the same way I do; just someone who sees the cosmos in the same light, and who gets me hot.

 

I have tried Match.com (BOO), and OKCupid (which I like more because of the whole personality questions and compatibility percentages….) and have found almost no one who interests me.

On the other hand, I have just today found SpiritualSingles.com, and created a page. I feel like that brings me to a whole other circle of people who DO fit the lifestyle parameters I have in mind. Pagans, poly, spiritually focused Goddess worshipping tree-huggers. However, I have no doubts that this page has the same potential levels of shallowness that more traditional lifestyle pages have, but at least my chances of meeting a like-minded person is greater. Will report back.

[gaius]

I find OLD to be pretty slim pickin's, even as a reasonably attractive female. Why? Because I am pretty alt (alternative) in most areas of my life. Being on OKC (where I currently have a profile) is a big gamble, because almost NO-ONE matches even the most basic preferences I am looking for in my area, or on the whole dang web-site. I try both putting in exactly what I want, getting no matches, and try to lower my parameters and end up dating people who are antithetical to my whole life view.

I know I limit myself with all of my preferences, but if those preferences are more about lifestyle and not about material things like looks or income, then isn't it really just trying to find someone with whom you are compatible? I am not looking for someone who butters and cut's their toast the same way I do; just someone who sees the cosmos in the same light, and who gets me hot.

 

I have tried Match.com (BOO), and OKCupid (which I like more because of the whole personality questions and compatibility percentages….) and have found almost no one who interests me.

On the other hand, I have just today found SpiritualSingles.com, and created a page. I feel like that brings me to a whole other circle of people who DO fit the lifestyle parameters I have in mind. Pagans, poly, spiritually focused Goddess worshipping tree-huggers. However, I have no doubts that this page has the same potential levels of shallowness that more traditional lifestyle pages have, but at least my chances of meeting a like-minded person is greater. Will report back.

Have you ever just looked beyond all that and tried to have a conversation, just to see where it goes? I kind of find it hard to believe you can't find anyone on there that you click with on some level. All those mighty preferences are just hurdles you set up for yourself.

 

OLD is mostly what you make of it. I see a lot of guys who don't make much effort or clearly have issues trying to dive into OLD and of course it doesn't go anywhere. But if you are someone who's genuinely interested in intimacy and companionship you'll eventually hit on something if you work it long enough. Like anything else in life.

[No Limit]

You should post a picture. And add a few paragraphs that show off how smart you are and how much you know, hopefully to help weed out the dummies. You're one of those women who's only single because you don't put yourself out there enough. Like my ex was when I found her.

 

Nah, I prefer my anonymity in the internet. Besides I don't really feel ready for a relationship. Being smart is a turn-off for most guys my age anyway.

 

And what really annoyed me on that website was that all you could do with your profile was to check off what your hobbies are, your eye & hair color, weight, what turns you on or off. I find it hard to believe that a website like this could ever become No. 1 when no individual editing of my profile is possible except a little quote. I chose "always be ahead of time".

 

Thanks for the compliment but I think the reason I'm single is because I just don't fit into the big picture. I'm just... different.

[TigerLilly78]

Not trying to put anyone down here but with all the "fake" profiles people seam to be making up in OLD these days no wonder there are little results I couldn't grab some random Joes pic off line and add it to a dating site out of fear of creating probs for that person sure the chances might be zero but I could see a gf or a wife catching drift of it..I dont know thats just me tho to each their own I guess..just putting that out there..

[No Limit]

Not trying to put anyone down here but with all the "fake" profiles people seam to be making up in OLD these days no wonder there are little results I couldn't grab some random Joes pic off line and add it to a dating site out of fear of creating probs for that person sure the chances might be zero but I could see a gf or a wife catching drift of it..I dont know thats just me tho to each their own I guess..just putting that out there..

 

My fake profile was male, and since women obviously prefer to be approached rather than approach someone I think I didn't do any harm. Besides, said fake profile was deleted 5 minutes after it was made.

 

As for the female profile, that one's real and I haven't deleted it because I'm simply curious. My profile states that too, because when asked why I joined the site I ticked "just looking around" which is visible on my profile, so I hope men looking for marriage candidates will not try to chat up with a profile that doesn't even show my face.

[gaius]

Nah, I prefer my anonymity in the internet. Besides I don't really feel ready for a relationship. Being smart is a turn-off for most guys my age anyway.

 

And what really annoyed me on that website was that all you could do with your profile was to check off what your hobbies are, your eye & hair color, weight, what turns you on or off. I find it hard to believe that a website like this could ever become No. 1 when no individual editing of my profile is possible except a little quote. I chose "always be ahead of time".

 

Thanks for the compliment but I think the reason I'm single is because I just don't fit into the big picture. I'm just... different.

Well, even just someone you click with enough to the point of starting something sexual. That seems to be something you do want from what I read. I used to think that too, that I was totally different and I don't click with anyone but I put myself out there enough that eventually I found a few I did. By pure chance.

 

I remember sitting next to one and realizing I probably wouldn't have even talked to her on the off chance we had met in real life since we had absolutely nothing in common to go on but it worked wonderfully anyway. The risk is worth the reward, trust me.

[No Limit]

Well, even just someone you click with enough to the point of starting something sexual. That seems to be something you do want from what I read. I used to think that too, that I was totally different and I don't click with anyone but I put myself out there enough that eventually I found a few I did. By pure chance.

 

I remember sitting next to one and realizing I probably wouldn't have even talked to her on the off chance we had met in real life since we had absolutely nothing in common to go on but it worked wonderfully anyway. The risk is worth the reward, trust me.

 

Define "putting myself out there"? As for FWB, due to my trust issues it would really have to start off as just that, friendship for me to warm up and feel comfortable with the guy. Now that alone poses a big problem, I mean I obviously can't write "looking for FWB partner!" in my profile without attracting the perverts only and I can't write "just looking for friendship" either because obviously people on OLD portals want more than that. I'll just wait until I'm in university someday, surely there must be someguy there willing to have sex?!

[FitChick]

As for FWB, due to my trust issues ... I obviously can't write "looking for FWB partner!" in my profile without attracting the perverts and I can't write "just looking for friendship" either because obviously people on OLD portals want more than that.

Why not look for a relationship then? One that starts out with friendship, then gets sexual. Are you a virgin? Going the FWB route is just asking for trouble.

[FitChick]

I have just today found SpiritualSingles.com, and created a page. I feel like that brings me to a whole other circle of people who DO fit the lifestyle parameters I have in mind. Pagans, poly, spiritually focused Goddess worshipping tree-huggers. However, I have no doubts that this page has the same potential levels of shallowness that more traditional lifestyle pages have, but at least my chances of meeting a like-minded person is greater. Will report back.

Please post your report on my Spiritual Singles thread in this forum. I am on the fence about joining so I'd like to hear feedback.

[gaius]

Define "putting myself out there"? As for FWB, due to my trust issues it would really have to start off as just that, friendship for me to warm up and feel comfortable with the guy. Now that alone poses a big problem, I mean I obviously can't write "looking for FWB partner!" in my profile without attracting the perverts only and I can't write "just looking for friendship" either because obviously people on OLD portals want more than that. I'll just wait until I'm in university someday, surely there must be someguy there willing to have sex?!

I just mean being in more places guys can find you. And have an outlet to talk to you. You could say something not so specific like just looking but add some other stuff as well that's personal and important to you. Something that gives people a healthy dose of your personality. If you tried a site that lets you do that. And then see what guys come up with to respond.

 

You might be surprised and find yourself vibing with someone who contacts you and you can take it from there. To wherever you want to take it. I just think sometimes about all the great experiences I would have missed if I didn't put myself out there and it's horrific to think about No. =/ The guy that will not only flirt with you all night but make a move when you give him the green light is probably out there.

 

And he may or may not be at college, but it doesn't hurt to expand the pool a little.

Edited January 16, 2015 by gaius

[LookAtThisPOst]

Confirming D&D (and RPG in general) is a sausage fest.

 

I've never been in a game with a single girl. If a single girl did turn up, I expect she would be overrun with salivating sweaty geeks and be put off in minutes.

 

I've played a few with couples, but it always ruins the game. They can't detach their relationship from their characters, and expect their characters to treat each other like they do in real life. It's even worse if one of them (usually the guy) is the GM.

 

I heard Iron Kingdoms is pretty good....friends are playing that now....kind of a "steampunk" D&D.....though, I am not much for "dungeon crawls" LOL

 

More into Euro Games, Deck-Builders, etc.