Meeting with an attorney in the morning

[kenmore]

A couple of nights ago my wife asked me about a blotch in her credit because she's trying to remortgage the house (another thing to discuss with my lawyer.) Once again, blaming me for anything that goes wrong in her life. It is not my doing, but she sent this stream of emails after I replied. Seven in one night! They were nasty, abusive and as usual putting the blame for everything on me. Telling me I am trying to take advantage of her and suck more out of her than I already have (which is bulls**t) and saying maybe she should hire a lawyer and sue me for the money I got out of her "supporting" me.

 

I just replied with my first strong response in months, and looking it is in direct response to what I wrote to Yas last night. I told her she's looking for her father in a husband because she wants to be able to say FU and leave him, and feel justified in it! That she's having problems coping because she feels guilty since I am the opposite of her father and am a kind loving man, and she damned well should feel guilty. That she should stop talking to her (boss ordered) therapist about what was, and focus on herself. Not make everything my fault, but look for issues within.

 

It felt good getting some of that crap off my chest! Despite her telling me to call her someday in the future when things are going well for me, I know we're finished, so screw it!

 

She needed to hear these things (there was a lot more, but I don't want to bore anyone.) Maybe it will make her a better person for her next vic...um husband.

[Yasuandio]

Ok, Kenmore. It's too late to edit whatever you wrote. At this point, ZIP IT.

 

That's all. Period. Stop yapping. Start acting in your own best interests, and for dang sure, don't show your badge. [i.e., everything you do here and out in your business, and no talkie talk, no venting to the wife. You ain't gonna teach her any lesson at this point in the game. I mean, you just woke up and figured out, "gee, wiz, maybe I need to pay for a one hour consult with an attorney, duh."]. She's way ahead of you, man. Stop patting yourself on your back, and get with the program asap. Party over.

 

You read me? Stop talking to her!!!!!!! Do not give any information on your frame of mind, let it be a mystery. She can bitch till hell freezes over about anything she wants, you probably live in a free country. So what? IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE. This will cause her to want to pull her tits out. [i don't know what is wrong with this new device they sent me from AT&T, I think the word check has Torette's syndrome]. OK, shut up, and watch the fall out. Blame, blame, blame. Yas

[kenmore]

I appreciate your kind advice lol. You do know how to wear those kid gloves!

 

We're at the "working" part of the breakup where we're on speaking terms attempting to work things out amicably but not done discussing how things will fall out. admittedly, this last post was about emotions and it's hard to keep that out of the convo. as s*it gets said and feelings get touched.

 

While not showing my badge is good advice for sure, things need to be worked out and you are one of the main people to say don't work with lawyers too much since they will bend you over. It can't be done by simply not doing anything.

 

Actually paying my attorney Monday. My wife contacted me today wanting me to sign a refi. and I said no, I'll discuss it with my attorney Monday. She kept trying to convince me it's OK and won't cause problems and I stuck to my guns.

 

Stop patting myself on the back? You have to be kidding! Nobody else will and I think I'm doing quite well. In our discussion today I realized she has no friggin' idea what she's doing, and I do. She "appears" way ahead of me. It reminds me of car mirrors: "things appear larger than they are". she has always appeared so "together", so "with it", so "on top of it", and somehow she does win a lot. She has some kind of grace working for her, but often I see how she doesn't really get detailed and wins because the other party is even less detailed. She's against the king of detail here! I have researched California law, know my stuff and know how things almost have to go. She had her refi. guy call and talk to me trying to tell me how it's all OK. He told me everything I needed to know, which turned out to be that I already knew everything I needed to know!

 

I'm sure you're right about talking too much and I am doing bare minimum from here on out. the gloves are off now. I gleaned enough information today to know how to proceed and I'll verify with my attorney Monday, but I won't rake her over the coals. I have no desire to. She was good to me while we were together and that meant something to me.

 

Thanks for your advice, it has and will continue to affect my thoughts. I feel things are taking their unchangeable shape, and while it's not life changing for either of us, nor is it bad for either of us.

 

Ken