st peter Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 wondering what people think, or any examples of couples that have reunited despite a really really nasty breakup. me and my ex had an incredible relationship (not looking through rose tinted glasses, she loved me enough to move 8000 miles to be with me). we envisioned a future and everything. the breakup was absolutely horrible. she wanted to dump me and when she arrived in my country she betrayed me horrifically and we havent spoken in nearly 3 months. anyone, everyone says this, but it really was terrible what she did, and it severely damaged me. anyway, in my position right now, i sure as hell don't want to be with her, at least now. a) i want to enjoy the freedom of being single, being free to travel and focus on career and just enjoy less responsibility. b) i want to date other girls, and have a couple of proper relationships so as to enjoy other girlfriends and to get some perspective. c) I'm still to hurt, i don't think i could look her in the eye just yet. in fact, the breakup made sense, we were too young and we needed to experience more out of life, we were just so close that i think it needed something really bad to rupture us apart. as for her, so many reasons for the breakup. a) huge commitment coming to be with me at age of 20 would make any scared of committing. just like me, she needed more to experience, this probably shaked her into action, as our honeymoon stage was over (went out year and a half) and she wondered what else was out there, so felt trapped. b) was going through mental difficulties, perhaps attributed blame to me. c) genuinely started thinking she didn't love me and we were incompatible. however, this is a girl who dreamed night and day for over a year of having a whole life with me, and was prepared to move continents to be with me. i cannot accept she is truly indifferent to me. no girl could forget the memories we shared. anyway, i wonder if years pass and we both experience more of life and more of relationships we could both long for each other. my fear is that we may indeed realise we love each other, but the obstacle of our nasty breakup would be insurmountable. would i ever be able to forgive/trust/treasure her, and would she be too guilty or ashamed to let me back in her life, even if she felt she had thrown away someone she wanted to be with. and i do mean years passing, its too sore atm and more of life needs to be experienced. anyway, my question is more general, can a terrible breakup ever be fixed? and is the responsibility to act entirely with the dumper/the one who was guilty of whatever nasty thing was done? forgiveness is a powerful thing, and maybe the relationship could be even stronger as a result? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 It wasn't a wonderful relationship. Its over. Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author st peter Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) well actually satu i actually loved the relationship for a long time. in fact, it was the happiest i have ever been for a while. that would be why I'm still adjusting nearly 3 months post breakup. and let it go? i have done everything possible to get her out of my life, date others, act happy to the world, focus on education and work so don't tell me to just let it go. i turned to this damn website in order to not do anything in the real world, but when the thoughts still hurt. which they really do, so yeah, i would love to just let it go. but everything is so simple to those who have never met me isn't it. break ups are as simple as not giving a ****. makes me question the point of a relationship. Edited January 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
newlyborn Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 no one can tell you if you will reconcile with your ex years into the future. neither you nor she can realistically tell the other that either. what i will say is that LDR's are hard. and if yours failed when you lived in the same place, that says something about the relationship itself. it's very painful to reconsider whether two people who love/d each other have what it takes to really last. but so far it doesn't seem that you and your ex do. you are asking the questions every recent dumpee asks. just take more time to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
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