Should the guys always pay for their girlfriend

January 13, 2015

Not all women expect the man to pay for the duration of the relationship...

But the ones that do are so shameless about it its easy to make you think they all feel that way. Doesnt help that when they carry on in the company of other women that none of the women pipe up that maybe they should be more financially independent and stop using their man as an ATM. We all know the type, bragging about the stuff they made their man buy and how the allowance he gives is too small.

One of my exes cautioned me that if i started dating beautiful women id be expected to pay for all their cosmetics. She told me that if i didnt pay for the cosmetics the girls would have a sugar daddy who would on the side.

I polled a bunch of my friends both male and female and none of them ever had been even asked. I brought it up with some of the girls i was dating and even the smokeshow hot girls never would even think of such a thing.

Ironically the ex costed me nearly $900 a month. Wish she had of spent some of it on cosmetics, she sure could have used a bit of bondo.

January 13, 2015

Not all women expect the man to pay for the duration of the relationship...

But the ones that do are so shameless about it its easy to make you think they all feel that way. Doesnt help that when they carry on in the company of other women that none of the women pipe up that maybe they should be more financially independent and stop using their man as an ATM. We all know the type, bragging about the stuff they made their man buy and how the allowance he gives is too small.

One of my exes cautioned me that if i started dating beautiful women id be expected to pay for all their cosmetics. She told me that if i didnt pay for the cosmetics the girls would have a sugar daddy who would on the side.

I polled a bunch of my friends both male and female and none of them ever had been even asked. I brought it up with some of the girls i was dating and even the smokeshow hot girls never would even think of such a thing.

Ironically the ex costed me nearly $900 a month. Wish she had of spent some of it on cosmetics, she sure could have used a bit of bondo.

This is some sort of mind trick I have encountered as well..

The girl you are with repeatedly let's you know how "materialistic" other women are, and how lucky you are to be with her..

Then you add up how much you spend, and how much they spend a month and you are minus about $1000 a month.

January 13, 2015

But the ones that do are so shameless about it its easy to make you think they all feel that way. Doesnt help that when they carry on in the company of other women that none of the women pipe up that maybe they should be more financially independent and stop using their man as an ATM. We all know the type, bragging about the stuff they made their man buy and how the allowance he gives is too small.

Interesting. Aren't you the one who was bragging about a woman cooking all your meals and cleaning your house for you after dating for 2 weeks, and that it was what a 'real woman' should do?

January 13, 2015

Interesting. Aren't you the one who was bragging about a woman cooking all your meals and cleaning your house for you after dating for 2 weeks, and that it was what a 'real woman' should do?

Not the same woman. I would have felt my $900 a month was going to good use if that ex actually fulfilled the stay at home mom role. The girl your talking about was a scam artist and i finally got her out of my house after 7 weeks. Lets stick on topic.

January 13, 2015

Not the same woman. I would have felt my $900 a month was going to good use if that ex actually fulfilled the stay at home mom role. The girl your talking about was a scam artist and i finally got her out of my house after 7 weeks. Lets stick on topic.

I was referring to you talking about all these women who are 'bragging' about their men paying them. Sounds like the same thing to me.

At any rate, my thoughts on this topic remain the same: This is really a non-issue to most couples in real life. Most of us are quite laid-back about such things and compatible couples usually reach an arrangement that works for both of them, quite easily. Also, I've never ever met a woman who brags about how much her man spends on her or demands $900/month from her man for cosmetics.

Methinks birds of a feather flock together.

January 13, 2015

I was referring to you talking about all these women who are 'bragging' about their men paying them. Sounds like the same thing to me.

At any rate, my thoughts on this topic remain the same: This is really a non-issue to most couples in real life. Most of us are quite laid-back about such things and compatible couples usually reach an arrangement that works for both of them, quite easily. Also, I've never ever met a woman who brags about how much her man spends on her or demands $900/month from her man for cosmetics.

Methinks birds of a feather flock together.

I read some of the posts here about this "issue" and my mind goes to a Venn diagram of those who dislike women and those who feel this is common place. It is a circle.

January 13, 2015

At any rate, my thoughts on this topic remain the same: This is really a non-issue to most couples in real life.

Almost half of women are annoyed if they would be asked to contribute for a date.lol So it is an issue even if guys keep quiet to keep having sex.

Study: Men Want Women to Chip In on Dates, but Are Afraid to Ask | TIME.com

84% of men and 58% of women said that men paid for most dating expenses.
39% of women hoped men would not ask them to contribute.
44% of women were annoyed when men “expected” women to pay.
44% of men said they would stop seeing women who never pay for dates.
64% of men believed women should pick up from time to time, though 76% said they felt “guilty” saying so.
4 in 10 men and women said that dating expenses were usually shared within the first month, and nearly three-fourths (74%) of men and 83% of women said they’re shared by the sixth-month mark.

January 13, 2015

I read some of the posts here about this "issue" and my mind goes to a Venn diagram of those who dislike women and those who feel this is common place. It is a circle.

Yup, exactly.

Also worth noting that most of the guys I know in real life (who don't feel that this is commonplace) don't brag about the things that some of the guys here view as bragworthy, either. I'm pretty certain there is a good reason these guys are ending up with these women.

January 13, 2015

Yup, exactly.

Also worth noting that most of the guys I know in real life (who don't feel that this is commonplace) don't brag about the things that some of the guys here view as bragworthy, either. I'm pretty certain there is a good reason these guys are ending up with these women.

I am very fortunate in this area as well.

January 13, 2015

So it is an issue even if guys keep quiet to keep having sex.

44% of men said they would stop seeing women who never pay for dates.
64% of men believed women should pick up from time to time, though 76% said they felt “guilty” saying so.

The only issue I see with what you posted, is this. If 64% of men believe that women should pay, then 64% of men should stop seeing women who don't pay. 44% isn't too bad, which pretty much means that only 20% of men are secretly resenting it. And really, that's on them - if they continue to do something they hate just to get pussy, they might want to reconsider their own priorities.

Also, the paper is based in NYC, and even then you are omitting the last line that says "But while women may be paying more of their share, many men still want [...] to pick up the bill in the beginning." Who are you to tell other men what they should or shouldn't do? Everyone should just do whatever they want to do, be it paying or going dutch.

January 13, 2015

Yup, exactly.

Also worth noting that most of the guys I know in real life (who don't feel that this is commonplace) don't brag about the things that some of the guys here view as bragworthy, either. I'm pretty certain there is a good reason these guys are ending up with these women.

This is how it works..

Guy meets girl and asks her out..

Guy and girl have a good time.. Guy knows if he suggests woman pays for her share she will be completely turned off and his chance of sex will drop to zero.

Guy pays..

Guy and girl start having sex.

Sex is never free for men, so he keeps paying for dates.. Suggesting she pays might rock the boat.

This arrangement works fine for her, so she thinks everyone is 100% happy.

Sooner or later guy suggests she should pay too.. Woman is now offended, and feels guy loves her less.. Maybe his is cheap..No longer a "gentleman". After all, she watches the real housewives shows, and what she is asking for is not much for a "real man" to provide.

Woman provides tip on some dates and then all of the other 100 dates he paid for are forgotten.. In her mind she now contributes to the cost of dating as equals. She is now turned off inside, as all of her facebook friends have guys spending tons of money on them, and she is stuck paying for half of all dates.

January 13, 2015

A

84% of men and 58% of women said that men paid for most dating expenses.

The most interesting of your stats. Im not questioning the survey, but it is impossible that 5/8th of men and 2/3rds of women pay the most during dating. Its mathematically impossible; "the most" would be 51% or more, you cant have more than half of each gender spending more than half. You could crank up the size of the study to a huge size sample and i think youd get the same result.

Its obvious that one sided dating expense counting is going on likely in both genders, not unlike gamblers' math (adding up wins but not counting losses)

January 13, 2015

The most interesting of your stats. Im not questioning the survey, but it is impossible that 5/8th of men and 2/3rds of women pay the most during dating. Its mathematically impossible; "the most" would be 51% or more, you cant have more than half of each gender spending more than half. You could crank up the size of the study to a huge size sample and i think youd get the same result.

Its obvious that one sided dating expense counting is going on likely in both genders, not unlike gamblers' math (adding up wins but not counting losses)

I think it shows how differently men and women view he same events.. 84% of men claim to pay, and only 58% of women claim men pay..

January 13, 2015

This is how it works..

Guy meets girl and asks her out..

Guy and girl have a good time.. Guy knows if he suggests woman pays for her share she will be completely turned off and his chance of sex will drop to zero.

Guy pays..

Guy and girl start having sex.

Sex is never free for men, so he keeps paying for dates.. Suggesting she pays might rock the boat.

This arrangement works fine for her, so she thinks everyone is 100% happy.

Sooner or later guy suggests she should pay too.. Woman is now offended, and feels guy loves her less.. Maybe his is cheap..No longer a "gentleman". After all, she watches the real housewives shows, and what she is asking for is not much for a "real man" to provide.

Woman provides tip on some dates and then all of the other 100 dates he paid for are forgotten.. In her mind she now contributes to the cost of dating as equals. She is now turned off inside, as all of her facebook friends have guys spending tons of money on them, and she is stuck paying for half of all dates.

My word, if this is what you have experienced, change who you attract and date.

January 13, 2015

What creatures do you hang around? My word, what a ridiculous view you have of women. If this is what you have experiences, change who you attract and date. You are the common denominator.

The creatures are called women..

Women from different countries, jobs, educational levels and professions..

I think there is some biological connection with women, money and sex..

It is not really possible to have sex without investing money, one way or another..

Sort of like the woman might feel "too easy" if the guy did not at least take them out for dinner.

None of the the excuses make much sense.. Who asks should pay.. Who makes more should pay....men want to pay, lol..

January 13, 2015

This is how it works..

Sooner or later guy suggests she should pay too.. Woman is now offended, and feels guy loves her less.. Maybe his is cheap..No longer a "gentleman". After all, she watches the real housewives shows, and what she is asking for is not much for a "real man" to provide.

Woman provides tip on some dates and then all of the other 100 dates he paid for are forgotten.. In her mind she now contributes to the cost of dating as equals. She is now turned off inside, as all of her facebook friends have guys spending tons of money on them, and she is stuck paying for half of all dates.

I have dated women like this. Whirlwind and a dream until you ask them to start paying their share, then things go south because they think your being cheap. Its more common than many of the ladies here may want to admit, but maybe they just arent witnessing it because theyre not dating women.

However i would caution against saying all or most women are at all like this. Ive dated women who wanted to make sure the first date was inexpensive because they knew i might feel obligated to pay. Others who insisted on paying half or for themselves, or who would offer to treat me for drinks afterwards. Girls who begged me not to spend money on a birthday or valentines present because they were afraid id overspend (i did anyway, got an inexpensive but thoughtful gift and they were thrilled. One girl was overjoyed because i bought her a toothbrush and a robe for when she stayed over) and they didnt want me to try to buy their heart.

Dating for men is quite expensive because you need to sort the wallet chasers out to find these good ones, and the good ones are usually taken while the bad ones are usually single.

But dont take this unfortunate dating reality and extrapolate it to the whole female population.

January 13, 2015

I think it shows how differently men and women view he same events.. 84% of men claim to pay, and only 58% of women claim men pay..

You are misinterpereting your own study due to the color of your own bias.

You are assuming that the women are misinterpereting yet the men are not. I doubt thats true. All you can read from a mathematically impossible situation like that is that both parties somewhat misread who is paying more, but chances are that men pay more most of the time.

January 13, 2015

The most interesting of your stats. Im not questioning the survey, but it is impossible that 5/8th of men and 2/3rds of women pay the most during dating. Its mathematically impossible; "the most" would be 51% or more, you cant have more than half of each gender spending more than half. You could crank up the size of the study to a huge size sample and i think youd get the same result.

Its obvious that one sided dating expense counting is going on likely in both genders, not unlike gamblers' math (adding up wins but not counting losses)

Perhaps the discrepancy is perception based. One pays for dinner and the other drinks, each thinks they paid "the most" on the date. Same for say dinner and concert tickets, etc.

The bottom line is if a person does not want to solely pay for dates, speak up. Dating should not feel like being taken advantage of. I think in this day and age most people are fine with paying for themselves and if they are not, end it.

January 13, 2015

The only issue I see with what you posted, is this. If 64% of men believe that women should pay, then 64% of men should stop seeing women who don't pay. 44% isn't too bad, which pretty much means that only 20% of men are secretly resenting it. And really, that's on them - if they continue to do something they hate just to get pussy, they might want to reconsider their own priorities.

YES! I can't even wrap my mind around why you guys are complaining about this, if you don't like doing it, DO NOT DO IT. If you think you need to do this in order to buy sex, that is your choice. It's not because of women. No matter how many stats you can find to bolster your perspective, there is a whole world of dating and relationships out there that have nothing to do with them. The other women in this thread and I are not lying I swear!!:bunny:

January 13, 2015

I have dated women like this. Whirlwind and a dream until you ask them to start paying their share, then things go south because they think your being cheap. Its more common than many of the ladies here may want to admit, but maybe they just arent witnessing it because theyre not dating women.

However i would caution against saying all or most women are at all like this. Ive dated women who wanted to make sure the first date was inexpensive because they knew i might feel obligated to pay. Others who insisted on paying half or for themselves, or who would offer to treat me for drinks afterwards. Girls who begged me not to spend money on a birthday or valentines present because they were afraid id overspend (i did anyway, got an inexpensive but thoughtful gift and they were thrilled. One girl was overjoyed because i bought her a toothbrush and a robe for when she stayed over) and they didnt want me to try to buy their heart.

Dating for men is quite expensive because you need to sort the wallet chasers out to find these good ones, and the good ones are usually taken while the bad ones are usually single.

But dont take this unfortunate dating reality and extrapolate it to the whole female population.

This logic makes sense..

it is unfair to say all or most women, because you are right.. The available and attractive women are single for a reason.. It's not the "paying", but the women who expect the above are also selfish in other ways which makes them unable to be in a stable ltr.

January 13, 2015

The creatures are called women..

Women from different countries, jobs, educational levels and professions..

I think there is some biological connection with women, money and sex..

It is not really possible to have sex without investing money, one way or another..

Sort of like the woman might feel "too easy" if the guy did not at least take them out for dinner.

None of the the excuses make much sense.. Who asks should pay.. Who makes more should pay....men want to pay, lol..

I revised my post. You think women are like this because of the women you have pursued. Plenty of women have sex without having a meal "invested" in them and view sex for pleasure, not a quid pro quo transaction. You will never find them though if you think "It is not really possible to have sex without investing money, one way or another". It is odd you think women are out for money, yet you are the one who thinks sex is financially based. Change your attitude and you change your outcome.

January 13, 2015

I think there is some biological connection with women, money and sex..

It is not really possible to have sex without investing money, one way or another..

That is really sad and insulting actually.

Anyway it is silly for you to complain about the status quo as you are experiencing it, evidently you are a full participant in this barter system of yours. Since you believe you need to buy sex, and you aren't interested or willing in exploring different ways of relating to women in your life, maybe you can live with your own choices more gracefully?

That would be cool.

January 13, 2015

I remember my grandmom saying the only time the guy didn't pay in a relationship is when it was

His Birthday and Christmas

LOL

January 13, 2015

I revised my post. You think women are like this because of the women you have pursued. Plenty of women have sex without having a meal "invested" in them and view sex for pleasure, not a quid pro quo transaction. You will never find them though if you think "It is not really possible to have sex without investing money, one way or another". It is odd you think women are out for money, yet you are the one who thinks sex is financially based. Change your attitude and you change your outcome.

His opinion is rooted in fact, albeit his bias is a bit extreme. Women tend to "marry up", and one common thing women look for in a man is a good job when looking for a LTR. Women are attracted in part to a man with resources, while men are attracted to sex and looks.

Dragging us back to the original topic, no, a man shouldnt always pay for his girlfriend, and its a red flag for any woman to expect he does. If she cant afford to pay for dates they should do cheaper dates or she should get a better job. A bit of generosity is nice, but if its only one way its a sign of disrespect.

Us men unfortunately, are all to easily played by a beautiful woman whos great in bed and bats her eyelashes when the check comes. God gave us two heads but only enough blood to think with one, and some women use this to great effect.

January 13, 2015

That is really sad and insulting actually. Anyway it is silly for you to complain about the status quo as you are experiencing it, evidently you are a full participant in this barter system of yours. Since you believe you need to buy sex, and you aren't interested or willing in exploring different ways of relating to women in your life, maybe you can live with your own choices more gracefully? That would be cool.

I heard woman say over the years......"sex is not free"

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