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Female friend is upset that I don't want her friendship!


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Posted

So backstory as you may know. I used to train with this chick that was married. I was always attracted to her but I respected her marriage.

 

Fast forward middle of last year she tells me she is getting a divorce. I go to this fitness expo with her and try and make a move and she turns me down. I make the intelligent decision to cease contact with her because me being in a friendship with her complicates my relationships with other women. How can I put my heart into another woman or anything if I have a woman that I cannot control my attraction towards?

 

So anyways I have ignored her for the better half of eight months. She contacted me a few months ago asking if we could be friends again. I told her I can't (involved w/ another girl obviously). She messages me on my birthday a few months later. A few weeks ago she messages me during the holiday she said...I broke my phone then unfortunately.

 

SO yeah I see her at the gym the other night...mind you I haven't seen her in like four months..guess she has life stuff going on and I ignore her but this guy that is a mutual friend of ours tags me down and I have a convo with her. I go do my thing and go.

 

A month ago I unfriended her.

 

I get this messaged tonight from her

 

oh lol here's the full message

 

"Ouch B! Just saw you unfriended me. A bit childish don't you think? You would not even say hello if people won't force you to... BUT again if after almost 3 years you decided that I respect your decision. Wish you all the best, and you do not have to feel obligated to answer this or stop and say hello".

 

She is so butthurt that I don't want to be friends with her...wtf. Does she not see how selfish she is asking for a friendship after I told her that I did NOT want that?

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Posted

Ok, you know you made the right decision and you make sure to mention that several times throughout your post. Why make this thread then?

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Posted
Ok, you know you made the right decision and you make sure to mention that several times throughout your post. Why make this thread then?

 

Well damn...good point.

Posted

She just felt she had to strike out and try to guilt you. You did the right thing, and she knows it.

Posted
Does she not see how selfish she is asking for a friendship after I told her that I did NOT want that?

 

I don't think she was asking for a friendship? She said:

 

"if after almost 3 years you decided [to unfriend me] I respect your decision. Wish you all the best, and you do not have to feel obligated to answer this or stop and say hello".

 

That sounds like goodbye, to me.

  • Author
Posted
I don't think she was asking for a friendship? She said:

 

"if after almost 3 years you decided [to unfriend me] I respect your decision. Wish you all the best, and you do not have to feel obligated to answer this or stop and say hello".

 

That sounds like goodbye, to me.

 

She still wants my friendship...still contacts me and stuff. Just thinks I'm being petty but I did not open the door for friendship. I think she misses me though and all.

Posted
She still wants my friendship...still contacts me and stuff. Just thinks I'm being petty but I did not open the door for friendship. I think she misses me though and all.

 

Hmm... you did. You opened that door when you were her friend while she was married. Then you went and changed the rules of the game once she got divorced. So yeah, it's perfectly understandable that she misses her friend or the friend she thought she had.

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Posted
Hmm... you did. You opened that door when you were her friend while she was married. Then you went and changed the rules of the game once she got divorced. So yeah, it's perfectly understandable that she misses her friend or the friend she thought she had.

 

She is a bit notorious for giving men mixed signals (and getting called out about it). Friendship aside, I thought it was weird that she had a lot of guy friends. I just felt I was one of them that she got attention from.

 

After not seeing her after a while she invited me to go to this expo with her alone so I'm not sure what to think. I still like her as a friend but I am attracted to her as well. It's unfair to me for her to keep persisting friendship even after I changed things. I don't dislike her or anything I just feel that with her in my life it is hard for me to be romantically involved with other women.

Posted

Block ALL forms of contact from her. Move on and find somebody that reciprocates your intimate feelings.

 

If you keep looking for hope in this situation then you'll just be harming yourself.

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