Why does this have te be so awkward? (With bonus extra credit question!)

[Artscrafter]

Okay, so I'm 20 years old and a sophomore in college. And I'm a virgin. Very much of one, in the sense that I've never had a girlfriend, and the only time I've ever kissed a girl was this one time at a party where we were playing a sort of game that involved everyone going around and kissing each other (usually not on the lips) knowing that it meant nothing in the end. I'm a rather shy person - while I enjoy conversations with all of my friends, I tend not to actually say as much as would be my share in them, and I don't know the first thing to do when trying to get a girl to be more than friends, despite having numerous (just) friends who are female. As one would expect, I'd really like to have a girlfriend, although being a fairly laid-back person about it, I haven't gotten to that desperate "any girl, but please take me now" point and don't expect to soon.

 

Enter "Liz." A freshman, 19 years old, who shares quite a lot of characteristics and interests with me. We both like the same kinds of video games, music, movies... She likes anime and I probably would too if I'd ever really gotten into it... And she's also fairly shy around people she doesn't know. But she gets extremely talkative when she opens up to people. It's generally interesting stuff, but it can get a little tiring when she keeps dropping references to things I haven't seen/read. But that's a problem that can be remedied over time. In any case, she obviously likes me a fair amount on some level. And we really connect, to the point that she's started completing the occasional sentence I say, and we have this thing where, in group conversations, we'll both turn to each other and do some kind of gesture (usually a shrug.)

 

I'd like to try to steer this towards being more than just friends, but that's where it gets a little awkward. Liz projects this sense of being uncomfortable with physical contact. Case in point: During the aforementioned party with the kissing game, Liz was the only person I encountered who declined to participate. I found out indirectly from Liz's other best friend, "Kate," that Liz is almost certainly a virgin also. (more on Kate later.) This is rather hindering some of the methods I use to demonstrate interest - back rubs, hugs and the like - because I just feel too awkward to try them.

 

My roommate, who is the campus player and claims to be really good at reading women, describes Liz as "eager" and extremely fond of me on some level - all I have to do is spend more time with her, let her get more comfortable around me, and then make my move. To this end, I took her to dinner recently. Interspersed with the usual discussions of the things she's been writing (which are invariably laden with references I don't understand) were discussions of our academic interests and our plans for the summer - and I managed to get in the important date-style question of what either of us looks for in a member of the opposite sex. The only thing she could come up with was common interests, which I'm pretty sure is there. (Mine were a bit more picky - common interests, trustworthiness, creativity, humor, a reasonably good sense of self, and musical ability preferred, all of which she had.) Afterwards, we went back to her room and listened to music while reading "Anguished English" together for a while. I ended up borrowing a couple of books and a CD, and I hugged her on my way out - but she ended up positioning herself for one of those awkward, one-armed, hip-to-hip hugs.

 

So here's the thing. I'm entirely okay with taking it slowly and allowing both of us to get more comfortable with each other. I'm not looking to rush into an intense, physical je ne sais quois that amounts to an extended fling, but I'd like to steer it towards the possibility of becoming something deeper - and yes, physical - eventually. Unfortunately, the last several times I took it slowly with someone I was interested in, I fell into the dreaded "friend trap."

 

...Which brings Kate (Liz's best friend) back into the picture. She and Liz are practically inseparable. And while I really connect with Liz, Kate can get downright annoying and/or depressing at times. She, too, has a tendency to ramble, but her choice of topics is much more limited, to the extent that she's pretty much exhausted most of her material after about a week's worth of conversations, but she keeps talking anyway. People in my social group generally don't like her very much, to the extent that some of them will avoid sitting near her at meals. She's recognized that she's somewhat lacking for real friends, and meanwhile I'm willing to talk with her on a regular basis, so she tends to seek me out almost as much as Liz does during casual get-togethers. The effect of this is that I'm dealing with someone whom I don't really mind, but whom I'd rather see less often. In addition, since it's hard to get Liz to go somewhere without bringing Kate along (and without my specifically asking Kate to stay behind) half the time when I'm doing something with Liz, Kate's there as well. Which is all well and good, but I'm pretty sure that it puts Liz's mind in "friend mode" a bit more than I'd like.

 

So here are my two questions for you all.

 

1. How can I get my situation with Liz to become more comfortable, while still showing that I'm interested in being more than friends - such that I don't get stuck in the friend zone permanently?

2. How do I get Kate to lighten up and ease off, both from me in general and from the time I spend with Liz, without upsetting her?

[Tamed Wildflower]

Liz-- hmm... okay, no back rubs, hugs, or party games.. have you tried tickling or wrestling? Or maybe try teasing her playfully? Beyond that, you might just have to ask her out on a "date". Sounds like the time you went out to dinner, you both left the definition of the outing ambiguous. And it doesn't sound like she gave you any hints that she thought it was romantic. How about just telling her you are interested in her and see how she responds?

 

Kate-- I can think of two options, almost the same option really. If you get to the point of actually "dating" Liz (with both of you agreeing that that's what it is), you can tell Kate that since the two of you are seeing each other you need to spend time alone together. If you aren't officially dating Liz, you can probably still tell Kate that you'd like to date Liz, and therefore "would you mind letting us spend more time alone together, please? Thank you, Kate. I knew you'd understand!" Either way, of course don't let on that you think Kate is an annoying nuisance. Also, if you tell Kate straight out like that, she may be willing to give you the scoop on how Liz feels about you.

 

You know what, though? They both know you like Liz. I can't imagine that they don't. Guys sometimes think they are being subtle, but girls usually know what's going on. She may be not returning the affection because she is as nervous as you are. Not afraid of rejection, but just feeling uncomfortable and awkward, even though she likes you. Or she might not have decided if she likes you or not. Sound like a strange statement? I usually find that it is strange for guys. What can I say, sometimes we females have to warm up to the idea of being with a particular guy. Also, for her, if she is particularly uncomfortable with physical affection, she may be facing this conundrum, "I think I like this guy, and I sort of like the idea of having him as a boyf, but oh no, what about the physical affection part?! I have never been comfortable with that, and I don't quite understand why. I wonder if he will think there is something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me?" Or, maybe she really does think of you as a friend and that's all. Lastly, are you sure that she is heterosexual? Is your social environment welcoming enough of gays that a person who is ready to come out wouldn't have to be afraid of social rejection? It's possible that she didn't want to play the kissing game because kissing and flirting with guys is not her deal, and she is not quite ready to come out, or not ready to know how to define herself sexually. It's a possibility. (Also, if she's gay, the truth is that Kate might not even know.)

[Artscrafter]

Originally posted by Tamed Wildflower

hmm... okay, no back rubs, hugs, or party games..

Well, I haven't actually tried giving her a back rub yet, I just get this feeling that she might not react positively to one.

 

Sounds like the time you went out to dinner, you both left the definition of the outing ambiguous. And it doesn't sound like she gave you any hints that she thought it was romantic.

There's a bit of that. We didn't really call it anything in particular, but to the keen observer there were some hints - such as my picking up the entire tab and the server making a point of saying "you two" as often as possible.

 

Or she might not have decided if she likes you or not. Sound like a strange statement? I usually find that it is strange for guys.

It actually doesn't sound as strange as it might. Another reason I'm willing to take this slowly is because, frankly, I'm not entirely sure whether I like her yet either. That's what the early stages of dating are for, isn't it? Finding out whether you really like someone? But yeah, I haven't exactly felt a real "crush hard" attraction to Liz the way I've felt about some other girls. At present I'm on more of an "I can see us being a really good match, let's see where this goes" mindset. It's just that I don't want to close myself off from some possibilities too quickly.

 

Lastly, are you sure that she is heterosexual? Is your social environment welcoming enough of gays that a person who is ready to come out wouldn't have to be afraid of social rejection? It's possible that she didn't want to play the kissing game because kissing and flirting with guys is not her deal, and she is not quite ready to come out, or not ready to know how to define herself sexually.

I highly doubt that she's gay, since (a) our college is fairly open about that, (b) the kiss game was of the ultra-innocent variety such that anyone was kissing anyone else regardless of gender, and © she told me today that she'd decided against going to an all-girls' college since it would greatly hinder her prospects for finding a significant other, "not that (her) love life has had much happening yet." (Casual conversation or not-so-subtle hint?)

 

I also doubt she's facing any kind of introspective crisis about physical contact, since she follows our social group's general "sketchy" mentality. (Sketchy = Something that conveys hidden sexual meaning even if unintended.) I realize that it's a possibility for someone to drop innuendos and such while actually having a very non-physical mindset, but I think (or perhaps hope) that that's not the case here. Seems to me that she's just got to warm up to people.

 

Thanks for the suggestions. Any others, anyone?

[gridiron]

There's a bit of that. We didn't really call it anything in particular, but to the keen observer there were some hints - such as my picking up the entire tab and the server making a point of saying "you two" as often as possible.

None of these actions were from her end.

 

I haven't seen anything in your post to indicate a desire on her part to be anything more than friends. The one-arm hug does not bode well.

 

Maybe she requires more time to develop a spark, but I would not hold my breath.

 

You can ratchet up the flirting more in hopes of getting a more definitive answer.

 

I know you said you don't want to shut down any possibilities, but I would be ready pretty soon to keep this a friendship and start looking for others to date.

[clynn]

Seems to me you're in a group of friends that you should be able to let it slip that you've considered dating her, and wondered if she would be open to it. Very casual, to someone or another and hope that you get feedback that way.

 

You could just ask her directly as well.

 

But, what the heck, the indirect route could save face if she isn't into it (and besides you're not that sure, so you just want to test it out anyhow, right?)

 

Good luck!

[Artscrafter]

I figured I'd just reply to this thread instead of starting a new one from scratch, on the update to this situation.

 

I've managed to get past the apparent block on certain kinds of physical contact. Liz liked getting "scritchies" (our social group's term for a light scratching of someone else's head) and back rubs. Meanwhile, we've been spending a lot more time together, often watching movies, playing video games, or looking at any of a multitude of things she's wanted to show me, usually on the Internet. I'm getting along a little better with Kate, too - she's got her reasons for shadowing Liz and me so much. I've managed to get a decent amount of time with Liz alone over the last few days in particular anyway, but she's stopped responding to my subtle advances. The last time I gave her a back rub, she just kept on talking about whatever the topic of conversation was at that point, and I haven't gotten any reaction to the scritchies in some time. She hasn't resisted, but she hasn't been reacting at all the last few times.

 

I fear that I may be falling too quickly into the "friend zone." My problem is that in our social group, just about all of the things people normally do to show their interest in someone (flirting, less than entirely innocent physical contact, going to "date" sorts of places) are done so often without any real meaning that people seem to have gotten jaded to the real thing. I'd like to just come right out and tell Liz what I'm trying to get to between us, but I have no idea how to bring it up. The last couple of times I simply tried saying something to the effect of "I really like you, do you like me back" to someone, they did not turn out well at all. Any advice?

[sleeplessindallas]

Artscrafter, you are so articulate and you write so well, your posts are a joy to read!! What a pleasure to not have to stumble through a mis-spelled post!

 

What if, during one of your quasi-dates when you're having a really good time together, you said, "Hey, you know what? Maybe we should go on a 'real' date some time." It sounds to me as if you are at a point in your relationship with her where you could say something like that and get a genuine response.

 

Just a thought.

[Artscrafter]

Artscrafter, you are so articulate and you write so well, your posts are a joy to read!! What a pleasure to not have to stumble through a mis-spelled post!

Why, thank you. I've found that people will be more inclined to read things if they don't have to slog through incomprehensible text.

What if, during one of your quasi-dates when you're having a really good time together, you said, "Hey, you know what? Maybe we should go on a 'real' date some time."

Hmm. It's playful, spontaneous, low-pressure, and timed for when she'd associate positively with being around me... I like it.

[clynn]

keep us posted!

[Artscrafter]

Keeping you all posted sounds good. I put the idea into motion today. Excerpt from the conversation:

 

Me: You know, it's occurred to me... Despite all the time we've been spending together, we haven't exactly had a proper date yet. We should fix that.

Liz: (smiling and nodding) It should be fixed.

 

So it starts.

Thanks for the tips, all!

[blue17]

Awesome, good to hear. You risked losing her as a 'friend' which takes a lot of guts, and a lot of guys wouldn't of had the nerve to ask her out.

 

You had it all along. From my experience, when you just meet a girl and you end up spending tons of time together (w/ friends and/or alone) usually it means she is interested, and on that note the guy probably wouldn't spend lots of free time with her unless he was somewhat interested as well.

 

Don't worry about the 'not having a big crush' thing. The reason why you were probably so cool with this one is because you weren't 'gaga' over her and didn't act super nervous or different around her. You probably just acted your normal self, not desperate/needy or anything and she was attracted by that. Keep it up.

[clynn]

Originally posted by Artscrafter

Keeping you all posted sounds good. I put the idea into motion today. Excerpt from the conversation:

 

Me: You know, it's occurred to me... Despite all the time we've been spending together, we haven't exactly had a proper date yet. We should fix that.

Liz: (smiling and nodding) It should be fixed.

!

 

 

Way to GO!!!

Very nicely done. Well worded, and wouldn't leave her feeling confused or anything.

 

Looking forward to hearing how it goes.

 

You've done very well, I think. That takes guts and you've got it, obviously!

[Artscrafter]

(Edited: Corrected a typo.)

 

The good news is that the date (it happened yesterday) went fairly well.

The bad news is that, apart from actually going out to more places than usual and making it known that it was officially a date, it wasn't very much different from a lot of the other times we'd just hung around together.

 

I guess it was to be expected that we'd default to our usual mannerisms when in each other's company. We went to a restaurant, then a play that was being done by our college, followed by a show done by an improv comedy group (also consisting of college students.) There were some lighthearted cracks about the relationship we seem to be starting, such as in the conversation paraphrased below:

 

Me: So there's the play and the improv show on the same night, when we can go to both... Well timed. It's like the planets are aligning for this.

Her: I hope that doesn't make us star-crossed lovers then. One or both of them usually dies.

 

She was also receptive to the idea of having another official "date," another good sign. But I'd hoped for more physical contact, at least. Thing is, a part of me is terrified to make any kind of a move, between my shyness and general paranoia about how the action will be taken and her tepid reactions in the past. I did give her scritchies again, which she liked.

 

I get the feeling that she is also dealing with this same kind of issue. She seems quite comfortable with the idea of dating me, but either she's waiting for me to make the moves or she's just as unsure of how to act in this situation as I am. Yay for the awkward mating rituals of the inexperienced.

 

My next plan is to take her to another official "date" (next Friday features the opening of a movie we're both looking forward to and another performance of the same improv group) and during it, suggesting that we clarify/define what we're looking for in this relationship. If I'm right, we'll both find out that the other wants something more than what we have right now but was unsure of how to go about expressing it, and it'll be much easier from there.

 

Good idea? Bad idea? Something you'd do differently? I like comments.

[sleeplessindallas]

I think that by 'officially' dating her, you have already implied where you are headed and what your intentions are. By accepting, she has acknowledged that. (Edited to add that she has not only acknowledged it, but wants it that way. Welcomes it. Agrees to it.) I'm not sure that right now is necessarily a good time to bring up a question of defining it much further than that. Maybe if/as this thing develops in a couple of months, you might want to get a clearer definition, or by then it might just be really obvious.

 

So here are my thoughts, FWIW.

 

The last guy I dated was really shy and I am as well, for the most part. I began to wonder if he was EVER going to kiss me or if we would just continue as friends indefefinitely. Siince you're now officially dating, Liz is probably wondering about this. It's going to fall to you fairly soon to make this leap, but since you *have* defined these as dates, it shouldn't be nearly as difficult as it would have been if you hadn't made the relationship clear already. She should be expecting this, as this pointbecause that's what dating is intended for. If you're not ready to do this on the next date, then you should at least do something like sitting next to her with your arm around her, or walking with your arm around her, or something like this. There's no reason on earth to think that she wouldn't welcome it. Her comment about being star-crossed lovers is a very clear indication of what she is thinking, and it's not platonic. That much I can guarantee.

 

"Yay for the awkward mating rituals of the inexperienced." ROFLMAO!! This is priceless!!! With that last guy I dated (whom I ended up in a serious relationship with for three years), that was exactly how I felt, and I was 43 or 44 at the time!! If I do end up dating again, and I am now 48, I'm sure it will still feel that way. The guy is going to have to set the parameters of the relationship out very clearly to me or I won't 'get it'. For those of us who are shy and reserved, it just isn't easy, is it?

[Artscrafter]

The next chapter in the ongoing saga will be a little shorter...

 

We went to see Hitchhiker's Guide today. And Kate tagged along, despite both of us hinting that it might not be the best thing for her to do. And she just had to sit between Liz and me during the movie. (She's got this thing, bordering on a neurosis, where she has to have people she knows on either side of her whenever possible. And since I went into the row first, this one wasn't my call as much...)

 

We head back, and I hang around in Liz's room some more. More joking about how we seem to be starting to share a mind. It takes me the whole time I'm intending to be there and then some to work up the nerve to kiss her - and she turns her head so I get her cheek.

 

Grr! Wanting to spend as much time with me as possible and then dodging my advances - what's up with that?

[Tamed Wildflower]

Originally posted by Artscrafter

The next chapter in the ongoing saga will be a little shorter...

 

We went to see Hitchhiker's Guide today. And Kate tagged along, despite both of us hinting that it might not be the best thing for her to do. And she just had to sit between Liz and me during the movie. (She's got this thing, bordering on a neurosis, where she has to have people she knows on either side of her whenever possible. And since I went into the row first, this one wasn't my call as much...)

 

Congratulations on your date, Artscrafter! Well, on the Kateless one at least. Seriously, I think that you and Liz can and should be a little more clear with Kate when you would like her to buzz off. You don't have to feel bad and restrict yourselves to HINTING that it might not be best for her to come along. It's totally legitimate for you to actually ASK her not to tag along, or even to TELL her POLITELY that you and Liz are going on a date and would like to go alone together. Just tell her it is nothing personal, that it's not as if you don't like her, it's just that now that the two of you are dating you need her to understand that you want to be alone together sometimes. Then I would be really polite and welcoming to her other times, so that she understands that she's still your friend, she just can't be with you two ALL the time.

 

Geez, this must be like what parenting is like. "Mommy and Daddy love you Little Katie, but sometimes mommies and daddies like to be alone. Don't worry sweetie, we will still be here tomorrow, and we will play with you then, but right now you can NOT sleep in mommy and daddy's bed." [Mommy puts Katie to bed, comes back to bedroom to Daddy.] "Daddy" says, "Finally we got her off to bed!! Finally we are alone together!" The differences are that 1) Kate is not your beloved little girl, she's the annoying sidekick of the girl you are dating, and 2) she's older than five, and should have more of a clue!

 

We head back, and I hang around in Liz's room some more. More joking about how we seem to be starting to share a mind. It takes me the whole time I'm intending to be there and then some to work up the nerve to kiss her - and she turns her head so I get her cheek.

 

Grr! Wanting to spend as much time with me as possible and then dodging my advances - what's up with that?

 

The more I hear about this girl's reactions to your advances, the more I can relate to her! I would have dodged your advances when I was 19 too, no matter how much I liked you! For me, even though I was horny as all heck in general, I was just terrified of actually DOING anything. Even just kissing struck me as incredibly intimate, and I had to sort of force myself to get over the fear by kissing guys whose names I didn't even know-- if I didn't really know them and would never see them again, the intimacy was diminished to an absolute minimum, which meant that the terrifying vulnerability was diminished to an absolute minimum. Kate might be like me in that respect, just really freaked out by the prospect of actually getting physically and sexually close. If she is, then she's dealing with conflicting feelings right now, like "Oh my God I really like him, oh my God he's the first guy that I really feel comfortable with and enjoy being with, so why am I still so scared of anything physical?? I want to get over this, but I know that anytime I get the opportunity for anything physical I'll just freak out!" Of course this is the easiest explanation for me to think of because it is the one that I relate to, and of course it is not the only explanation. But her turning her head when you kissed her is enough of an indication that she is not just "waiting for the man to make the move".

 

Here's a suggestion. Have a conversation about physical and sexual things. Couch the issue in the broadest, most general, theoretical, and hypothetical terms. The less it is a matter of what the two of YOU are going to do, the more comfortable she will be talking about it. Then you can sort of get an idea of her thoughts and feelings about sex. Then maybe you can guide the conversation to talking casually and hypothetically about the two of you. How to do this? I'm not really sure how to MAKE this happen. In my social groups, these conversations have just happened all the time that I've never had to figure out HOW to make them happen. Hmm... maybe you could ask some really general questions about what attraction is like for girls, what arousal is like for girls, that kind of thing. And she will answer your questions, and they will be somewhat personalized because really she knows best what attraction and arousal are like for HER, not so much for all girls in general since these things vary from person to person anyway. This will obviously not result in a wild and crazy romp between you two, but at least it will move you in the direction of being comfortable talking about sex together... which could put you on the path to eventually DOING it, though it looks like it will be a slow journey-- but you knew that anyway.

[Artscrafter]

Thanks for the suggestion, TW. I'll see if I can't put some of those general topics into a conversation at some point. My social group occasionally puts something similar into conversations, but it's usually completely non-serious and focused on specific other people, so that's not exactly the right version of the topic for such a purpose.

 

But anyway, there's good news. I talked with Liz again today, and I mentioned my mild disappointment that we weren't able to make a date out of the movie yesterday. She responded by saying, "meh, life does that sometimes." (Yes, we're both known to say "meh" out loud. We're both such geeks!) Then I decided to play the "I'm taking this seriously" card and ask her if I'd taken things too far by trying to kiss her. Her response confirmed what I'd expected to be the most likely explanation, upon reflecting on it: She's just as inexperienced in dating as I am, and I'd simply taken her by surprise - I hadn't necessarily gone too far. She was trying to, as she put it, "keep afloat" in a new situation, and we both freely admitted, lightheartedly, that neither of us had any idea what we were doing. It was one of those wonderfully awkward/relieved moments. I also picked up from the conversation that she does in fact consider me to be a prospective "significant other." So yeah, looks like it's going real well!

 

Next objective is to turn up the intimacy factor a little without - well, I guess I'd say startling her - very much.

[Tamed Wildflower]

This sounds great, Artscrafter!

 

Since you have had your wonderfully awkward/relieved moment where you both confessed that you have no idea what you are doing, I would suggest that you just go with the flow of that. I can almost imagine the conversation:

 

(Alone in park at dusk):

Since we both have no idea how this mating ritual is supposed to work, what do you say we figure it out together?

 

Meh, okay.

 

Great. What do you suppose step one is?

 

Hmm, maybe put arms around each other and watch sunset?

 

That sounds about right. Okay, so I put my arm around you like this. Whoa! oh shoot, my watch is caught in your hair! (Fumbles to release her hair.)

 

(Both laugh)

 

Why don't you try putting your arm around my waist? Then we won't have to deal with the hair.

 

Good idea. (Encircles her waist with his arm.)

 

(Couple watches sun set.)

 

Now what do we do?

 

I think this is where we kiss.

 

Hmm... that's sounds wonderful. Uh...

 

(awkward laughter)

 

Who kisses who?

 

How bout if we both lean towards each other, and kiss? Let's not forget to turn our heads to the side just a little, so we don't bump noses.

 

Artscrafter, you write the rest! You are a much better writer than I. And I am sure that if you and Liz were writing the story of your kiss, it would be much wittier than my writing of the story of your kiss.

 

Good luck, hon! (And relish the awkwardness of it! It's part of the fun!)

[sleeplessindallas]

I agree with TW here, in that now that you both know what is going on, you can experiment together. And that is a lot of the fun of all of this.

 

I am so glad you took the bull by the horns and just asked her what was going on. Good for you!

[Artscrafter]

Hmm, sounds interesting. I ought to try that.

 

On a side note, I posted an entry on my LiveJournal saying that I was dating Liz, "for those of you who don't already know (which is pretty much everyone who hasn't asked.)" I got a bunch of responses by different people I knew to the effect of, "actually, I already knew that."

 

Funny how that works - everyone around us "knew" we were dating before we did!

[Artscrafter]

More updates on the situation, since two fairly important things happened yesterday.

 

First off, we were at dinner, and Kate noticed Liz and me doing our usual thing of playing off each other's random gestures a lot. And suddenly, the conversation went basically like this.

 

Kate: Do you two... like each other?

Liz and me (in unison): Yep.

Kate: Yeah, but I mean... like, like each other?

Liz and me (in unison): Yep.

And then a few seconds later, after looking at each other and nodding rapidly, we both started just laughing our heads off. Neither of us had any idea what was so funny or why we were laughing so hard, but there we were.

 

And secondly, while we were watching an anime in my room, I started to lie down and inch closer to her legs (she was sitting with her feet on the bed and her knees up.) She put her feet down, I took the opportunity to put my head in her lap, and next thing I know, we're in one of those being-each-other's-pillows type cuddles. I ended up pausing the anime so I didn't have to have my head at a weird angle, and we both just lay there for a while, lost in the moment - until the phone rang and naturally it was someone calling for my roommate, who wasn't there. (Next year I've got a room to myself. I can't wait.)

 

So yeah, looks like things are going great over here! I suspect it's safe to call this whole thing a success. I can't thank you all enough for this - I wouldn't have had the guts to do some of the steps along this without you guys.

 

Next step is taking it LDR for a while since our school year ends in about a week and we live halfway across the country over the summer. But I'm not worried.