LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Some good friends of ours and many others and had posted many parties at their home. Also a long time couple as we first got to know them as a lovable couple by many.....broadcasted on Facebook to everyone that they had broken up. A lot of commenters were proud of such a bold move about their amicable break up. But I found it a bit unnerving tp air their laundry in such a fashion. I guess they felt it justifiable as they have a large network of friends that they ignore the elephant in th the room? Is this something you would feel the need to broadcast to your friends? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Some good friends of ours and many others and had posted many parties at their home. Also a long time couple as we first got to know them as a lovable couple by many.....broadcasted on Facebook to everyone that they had broken up. A lot of commenters were proud of such a bold move about their amicable break up. But I found it a bit unnerving tp air their laundry in such a fashion. I guess they felt it justifiable as they have a large network of friends that they ignore the elephant in th the room? Is this something you would feel the need to broadcast to your friends? no i would not.......and i dont trash my ex on facebook either...but...i understand people are different to me......sometimes however i do feel uncomfortable when i read someone getting trashed....i am most likely to try to support the person writing trash......as trash talking about someone comes from a place of hurt.....and I try to alleviate any negative trash i see from family members...i actually ask my girls to delete it if i see it.........i think far too much is shared on facebook......especially teens.....who must thinks parents dont know how to read or have forgotten.........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Nope, wouldn't do it. I'm too private for that. I think I can't handle all the comments that'll be posted, such a drag to be answering those when you just wanna lie in bed and self pity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 IMO, announcing your breakup on FB is just idiotic... If you need to air your secrets to your friends/public like that rather than let it come out naturally then IMO you have some ego feed issues. I think people take their status update way too seriously on FB.. SMH... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
saz123 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Definitely wouldn't post your break-up on Facebook. An "in a relationship" or "married to" type status, fair enough. But when you have to remove one... Hmmmm no! I didn't think Facebook posted your "single" relationship status to the Home Page? Unless you publicly do it yourself like oh I'm not in a relationship anymore, everyone come at me! I think relationships are private things and always should be but each to their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Jenmarie Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 When I go through a break up, if I'm "in a relationship" previously, I change it to the "---" option or I just simply make it private so no one can see. I don't really want everyone to know my business unless I tell them personally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 In some ways I can understand it, it avoids the lingering 'How is your girlfriend!?' questions a week or month later when chatting to someone and then having to do the 'Yeah, uh, about that' conversation. I was glad that changing my status back to single didn't trigger a status update though, I talked through it with the friends I trusted and everyone else I dealt with as it came up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 When my ex dumped me, I just removed my relationship status altogether. However, I'm actually on here today to see if anyone has any idea why he still has his listed as "In A Relationship" a month later. I don't know if he's been on FB since then or not, and it kind of pisses me off. I mean, he was the one who wanted to end things, did so in a really crappy manner, and is now letting everyone to believe things are still ok? Whatever, he isn't my concern anymore, and I'm sure its just to forestall any questions from mutual friends. Just strange, and if I hadn't gone NC right after the split, I would've seen it and gotten all kinds of falsely optimistic ideas about what he may or may not be thinking in my head. Sorry to hijack your thread like this My two cents though is that I've always thought positive announcements (new relationship, or now engaged) are always better to announce publicly than negative ones. That's why there are engagement and wedding pictures in the papers, but not divorce ones. I've found too that the people who DO post a bunch of personal stuff like that are usually looking to trash their ex, and I don't like that. Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I'm really starting to hate social media. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Social media is a facade...a highlight reel at best, There's hardly any substance anymore, and most posts are out of jest, So much misunderstanding trying to encompass someone to just a page, When in reality, everyone's personality is like a singer on his/her own stage! Personally, I've done the stupid mistakes, I've announced breakups and aired dirty laundry out of rage, I've since learned that's a terrible thing to do, Especially when they can easily spread lies about you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 The people who care either already know because you told them personally or are so nosy that they stalk your FB and are able to put two and two together just by looking at pictures, checkins, etc., and noticing your boyfriend isn't around anymore. There's no need to announce it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) Some good friends of ours and many others and had posted many parties at their home. Also a long time couple as we first got to know them as a lovable couple by many.....broadcasted on Facebook to everyone that they had broken up. A lot of commenters were proud of such a bold move about their amicable break up. But I found it a bit unnerving tp air their laundry in such a fashion. I guess they felt it justifiable as they have a large network of friends that they ignore the elephant in th the room? Is this something you would feel the need to broadcast to your friends? Facebook is no place for my relationship, period. I don't announce when I'm in a relationship. I don't have a relationship status on my Facebook period. I simply don't make that one of the options as I don't think it's necessary. My friends in real life know if I'm dating or not and would have met my boyfriend(s). Once I am married or maybe engaged I might change my status to show I'm married since that is a more permanent condition, but while I'm just dating, I don't see the necessity of it and I don't use FB as a show and tell for my intimate romantic relationships personally. So nah...I wouldn't announce a break-up on there. When you do that you open it up as a public forum for likes, comments, unsolicited opinions and the rest...why do I need people commenting on that??? Nope. Edited January 8, 2015 by MissBee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Someone thats one of their friends piped and we're like , Really? ? On FB? Can you not just do this normally? " His response was that of "Better to make the announcement via this way.....Instead of being spread through rumor and heresay." Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Well, I don't announce it necessarily but people do see when I change my RS status. I've changed it from "in a RS" to "single" twice in 6 years. Not bad. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Someone thats one of their friends piped and we're like , Really? ? On FB? Can you not just do this normally? " His response was that of "Better to make the announcement via this way.....Instead of being spread through rumor and heresay." Wow. I don't get the whole people acting like they are celebrities where everyone will be so concerned and like they need to have a FB press conference or else we'll see rumors and hearsay in tabloid magazines while standing in line at the grocery story or it will be breaking news on tv.... It's not that serious. No one cares THAT much. People will notice you're no longer together eventually and if they are your offline friends you have a chance to say why one on one, if they aren't close enough to ask then let them make stuff up in their minds, who really cares??? People break up and folks may talk about it for a bit then life moves on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Facebook is no place for my relationship, period. I don't announce when I'm in a relationship. I don't have a relationship status on my Facebook period. I simply don't make that one of the options as I don't think it's necessary. My friends in real life know if I'm dating or not and would have met my boyfriend(s). Once I am married or maybe engaged I might change my status to show I'm married since that is a more permanent condition, but while I'm just dating, I don't see the necessity of it and I don't use FB as a show and tell for my intimate romantic relationships personally. So nah...I wouldn't announce a break-up on there. When you do that you open it up as a public forum for likes, comments, unsolicited opinions and the rest...why do I need people commenting on that??? Nope. Thank...you So tired of people flaunting their "so-called" relationships on FB. Relationships, just like selfies and other idiotic Facebook attention-hoing is such a waste. I don't put who/if I'm dating on FB...and, if I ever did, I'd only do it if married. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I guess folk would get the xyz changed from in a relationship to single thing pop up any way so they decided to explain it. I kind of get it - your not going to ring all your friends and tell them individually. But equally folk need to know your not just going to pretend forever your still together. Its not something id do personally but i can see how someone might prefer laying it out there than having it spread by word of mouth Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Wow. I don't get the whole people acting like they are celebrities where everyone will be so concerned and like they need to have a FB press conference or else we'll see rumors and hearsay in tabloid magazines while standing in line at the grocery story or it will be breaking news on tv.... It's not that serious. No one cares THAT much. People will notice you're no longer together eventually and if they are your offline friends you have a chance to say why one on one, if they aren't close enough to ask then let them make stuff up in their minds, who really cares??? People break up and folks may talk about it for a bit then life moves on. LOL...yeah...they mentioned that since they socialites, this justified the announcement and considering they had hosted many parties at their home and that they know numerous people...that such a FB " press confence " was warranted. I mean, I am guessing from all the feedback and "support" from their friends, they all make off like they were "America's Sweethearts" LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Wow. I don't get the whole people acting like they are celebrities where everyone will be so concerned and like they need to have a FB press conference or else we'll see rumors and hearsay in tabloid magazines while standing in line at the grocery story or it will be breaking news on tv.... It's not that serious. No one cares THAT much. People will notice you're no longer together eventually and if they are your offline friends you have a chance to say why one on one, if they aren't close enough to ask then let them make stuff up in their minds, who really cares??? People break up and folks may talk about it for a bit then life moves on. Agreed... Everyone wants to become a celebrity like Kim Kardashian...Everyone wants to be in the spotlight. I don't care for "so-called" fame. It took me a while to join Facebook and I did it cuz it was more convenient to keep in touch w/family and friends. I also make public things I'd like someone who is getting to know me see since now a days Googling someone you're interested is now sorta the norm. Adding, deleting, updating just "anyone" you're dating to me is akin to taking them to a formal family dinner when it's not a serious RL and/or you're barely dating....tacky and immature formy tastes. Gosh, sometimes I hate posting pics of me on there...I feel like I'm showing off or something. Actually, on my Facebook newsfeed my fav podcaster recently posted an article about too many selfies and narcisissm. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) LOL...yeah...they mentioned that since they socialites, this justified the announcement and considering they had hosted many parties at their home and that they know numerous people...that such a FB " press confence " was warranted. I mean, I am guessing from all the feedback and "support" from their friends, they all make off like they were "America's Sweethearts" LOL Well...whatever floats their boats! Socialite or not, I still wouldn't. In the case of say a canceled wedding or something (esp after having a lavish engagement party prior like a cousin of mine who had a lavish engagement and we all waited for the wedding which wasn't to be and he and his fiance deleted their FB and it was a year later we found out they had split) then yes, I see why you'd need to tell the people you've invited that it's no longer happening, and if it were a wedding, I'd not put it on FB but there must be some way to simply email or mail the regretful news. (BTW...how do people cancel weddings after the invitations are out?). Otherwise though, people can put two and two together IMO and yes I know it can be annoying for people to keep asking about your ex and you having to say you're not together, but I'd rather do that than put it on FB for people to comment, ask what happened etc. At least in person it is not in writing for all to see and archive and screenshot. Edited January 8, 2015 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Someone made mention that friends were finding out about their break ups WAY to late in the game or those awkward conversations that start off with, "So where's the better half?" And it's like "Ummmmm....." So hey....might as well post it on Facebook before it gets awkward. Well...whatever floats their boats! Socialite or not, I still wouldn't. In the case of say a canceled wedding or something (esp after having a lavish engagement party prior like a cousin of mine who had a lavish engagement and we all waited for the wedding which wasn't to be and he and his fiance deleted their FB and it was a year later we found out they had split) then yes, I see why you'd need to tell the people you've invited that it's no longer happening, and if it were a wedding, I'd not put it on FB but there must be some way to simply email or mail the regretful news. (BTW...how do people cancel weddings after the invitations are out?). Otherwise though, people can put two and two together IMO and yes I know it can be annoying for people to keep asking about your ex and you having to say you're not together, but I'd rather do that than put it on FB for people to comment, ask what happened etc. At least in person it is not in writing for all to see and archive and screenshot. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 It's a great way to let prospective partners know you're available. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren2013 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Well its their Facebook page. If they want to be public about their love life or whatever I mean that's their perogative. If you are tired of seeing anyone's posts about anything for any reason you have the option of unsubscribing to their page. I mean you don't have to read what they post. And why should you care whether or not they are posting to get attention? As long as they keep it all on their page then it shouldn't matter. Nobody has an inherent right to not be offended. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Some good friends of ours and many others and had posted many parties at their home. Also a long time couple as we first got to know them as a lovable couple by many.....broadcasted on Facebook to everyone that they had broken up. A lot of commenters were proud of such a bold move about their amicable break up. But I found it a bit unnerving tp air their laundry in such a fashion. I guess they felt it justifiable as they have a large network of friends that they ignore the elephant in th the room? Is this something you would feel the need to broadcast to your friends? Its not a bad thing, as long as its been discussed in private first. People always ask how your partner is doing or invite them along, which can be hurtful if your having a bad or lonely day. Link to post Share on other sites
Ebelskiver Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think a polite, respectful, timely, "Hey everybody, Jane and I have decided to part ways. We wish each other all the best and want our friends to know we're still happy to see each other out and about, so don't feel weird about inviting us both to events. Peace!" Would be nice. Particularly if the couple has been together a long time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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