Editbee Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 This topic came up just a couple days ago when my friends and I were having a typical female conversation.To be honest, if a potential bf propose, we would be fine with a normal proposal of him standing up. Why does he have to do the whole getting on one knee gesture?? So that's my question. Does anyone knows why does a man have to do that gesture? Or does he really have to do that? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 When I proposed, my exW sat in my lap right after all the kids did, since I was playing Santa that night. The one knee thing, absent tradition, reminds me of genuflecting in church, as a show of respect and submission to the church and god. In a way, a man submits to his spouse and, traditionally, as a dominant figure, this could reflect a momentary cessation of dominance in the act of requesting the approval of his prospective betrothed. I'd have to read up on it. My dad wasn't much different, in that he told my mom 'hey, let's get married', so they drove to Yuma, AZ and got married. Nothing elaborate. That was back in the early 50's so a long time ago. While we may see things and witness examples of such acts being reinforced, people vary widely, as do marriage proposals. Whatever works for the couple. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 No one has to do anything. But I think the traditional proposal is very gentlemanly and highly romantic. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 *disclaimer* I think the whole thing is stupid. Proposals, weddings, etc. People are more concerned with getting married than with being married. I have one friend who spent $26,000.00 on his wedding only to be divorced in a year. I have another friend who spent $12,000.00 on her wedding and honeymoon only to have her marriage implode within 5 years. I don't even want to get into the romantic proposals that went along with those disasters. Now, to the question. No, I don't think a man needs to buy a ring, make some romantic gesture, get down on one knee, and propose. The first time my husband proposed was in bed during sex, within 6 months of knowing each other, no less! I didn't take that one too seriously. Not because we'd only known each other 6 months since I knew he was it for me within minutes of meeting him, but because you can't put too much stock in what someone says when they're near orgasm. Of course he liked me an awful lot at that moment, lol. The second time he proposed was a few months later at a close friends house while we were sitting on their couch kissing here and there. He said he wanted witnesses that he asked so I couldn't wiggle out of giving a serious answer. Unfortunately, I was still legally married and in process of divorce, so I couldn't say yes. The third time he asked was after we were living together and I came home from court with my freshly printed divorce decree. I said "How would you like to kiss a single lady? and he said "So, when are we getting married?" We married 6 weeks later. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 My husband did not do it. I was a little disappointed but that's just him. He doesn't "get" all the romantic mushy stuff; symbolism & tradition are routinely lost on him. He didn't carry me over the threshold either. You know your intended better than we do. If she has dreamed her whole life of the fairy tale proposal & you love her, it's not going to hurt you if you get down on bended knee. If she doesn't care about stuff like that, no worries. Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 As a guy I have to say getting on one knee sounds pretty romantic. I would do it for a woman I really loved. It's embarrassing but if I loved her I'd do it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 This topic came up just a couple days ago when my friends and I were having a typical female conversation.To be honest, if a potential bf propose, we would be fine with a normal proposal of him standing up. Why does he have to do the whole getting on one knee gesture?? So that's my question. Does anyone knows why does a man have to do that gesture? Or does he really have to do that? No, one doesn't have to. It is customary in some places I suppose but it's not a hard and fast rule. If a man did it I'd find it cute but wouldn't reject his proposal or be left wanting if he didn't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 No, not necessary. It isn't even necessary for him to propose. Mine didn't, and we're quite married! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) As a guy I have to say getting on one knee sounds pretty romantic. I would do it for a woman I really loved. It's embarrassing but if I loved her I'd do it. avarma.....rock on i dont know if you should feel embarassed though...being humble enough to get on one knee......is a sign of strength knees are interesting body parts......if you cut someone off at the knees you are meant to actually have complete supplication complete humility when a phrase such as get down on your knees and pray comes to mind....you are on both knees before god with complete humility....when you get down on one knee for your intended wife ......then that shows again humility...but there is a higher power you are respecting ...in that supplication.....as in ...bow to no man.......or woman for that matter.....i take that to mean do not be in complete humility to man or woman but to god......the tradition of getting on one knee shows a humility for a reason......it shows a humility and an understanding fo what is important enough to signify...its a show of respect of strength and of ultimately a humility second only to above...a show that anything that needs to be done will be doen by that man for his wife....except fo course complete supplication.....in other words....two knees..........there should be no power transfer or a feeling of power from the woman to have a guy get on one knee for her....it should be a treasured memory and a feeling of total love and respect for the man who kneels before her...in the presence of a watching god...being brought to your knees for anyone for any reason.....is humbling..ti si a giving not a taking....a total giving over.......if it is about a power feeling for the person who is standing....then that is when it is wrong......because that would be a war type situation.....a lack of respect i do understand why some men dont....and i have never had a man get down on his knees and propose marriage to me.....i have been engaged twice...i have been asked a few times to get married off the cuff....and that got a no from me....it was more like hey want an ice cream..we should get ice cream....and maybe get hitched along the way.....i didnt consdier them to be serious and was said in a heat of passion...........never went the distance with the engagements....... i believe a guy getting down on one knee...is almost as special as seeing a man kneel to pray.....in no way ...have i ever seen a man on his knees as weak.....no woman should.....takes a lot for those knees to bend normally..........and if it is for a woman.....then she must be loved.........deb Edited January 9, 2015 by todreaminblue 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eddy Street Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I wouldn't, I wouldn't even buy a ring. Heck, I wouldn't even get married to begin with. I think the bond would prove to be stronger if it survived without it. Staying together without getting married is saying a lot. Divorce can be a major pain in the butt and something people would rather avoid, even if it meant staying with someone they'd gladly poison. I wouldn't even say "I love you" because I could show it otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Yep, if I ever get to propose I am going to get on one knee. Already carried someone(s) 'over the threshhold'. That was fun. Sucker for those kind of things. I think I might even go with 2 knees on the ground. Just to keep my balance as I am anticipating major stage fright... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I wouldn't, I wouldn't even buy a ring. Heck, I wouldn't even get married to begin with. I think the bond would prove to be stronger if it survived without it. Staying together without getting married is saying a lot. Divorce can be a major pain in the butt and something people would rather avoid, even if it meant staying with someone they'd gladly poison. I wouldn't even say "I love you" because I could show it otherwise. Wow. I disagree. I lived with somebody for almost 10 years In the beginning I was fine with that. I was young & I didn't care about marriage. When I started to want marriage he gave me the whole it's just a piece of paper BS. I bought into that for a while but never believed it. After a while it tore us apart. When I finally did get married, the profound realization of what we had done -- pledged before family, friends & God to be together forever, It's way more than a piece of paper. Getting married is a much deeper commitment then just being together without any of the formalities. Others, like you, may see it differently. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Yep, if I ever get to propose I am going to get on one knee. Already carried someone(s) 'over the threshhold'. That was fun. Sucker for those kind of things. I think I might even go with 2 knees on the ground. Just to keep my balance as I am anticipating major stage fright... Two knees seems like overkill to be honest. A little to desperate. I think one knee is the best. You're making yourself vulnerable to her but not totally desperate. One knee is a good balance IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 I think I might even go with 2 knees on the ground. Just to keep my balance as I am anticipating major stage fright... Haha I did one knee on a small boat ...genuinely was worried i'd get the shakes and send us overboard I got down on one knee mainly for tradition I guess, I love tradition, and for me marriage is about tradition and proposing is part of that. If you'd get on your knee to swear your sword to your king or whatever in days of old then it figures, to me at least, you'd get on your knee to swear your heart to your girl. Likewise of course no one has to do anything, you can propose any way you like. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 I think you should get on one knee for the official proposal. I know a whole lot of couples talk about marriage before anyone actually proposes and decides if they think it would be the right thing to do. So lots of women already know it's coming down the pike, but once a guy gets on one knee with a ring, they know it's happening right now. I'm not a "wedding" person. I never dreamt of a big traditional wedding, never wanted to wear white. But most women do and if they do, then you better not skip the traditional proposal. And even someone like me, who'd rather elope, I'd still like them to kneel. The guy I crushed the most on my whole life did a lot of the gallant other-century embellishments, like he kissed my hand nearly every time I saw him anywhere for years, even if we were both with someone else. I loved that about him. It was like he reserved this one little parcel of his most gallant self for me. I can't remember for sure if anything kicked it off. It's possible he asked me what's up one night playing pool and I told him sarcastically that oh, I was just waiting for my white knight in that dive. Anyway, seeing him always made me swoon. Pull out all the stops for the most important moments. And even for some little ones, because it can make them into important moments. Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Yep, if I ever get to propose I am going to get on one knee. Already carried someone(s) 'over the threshhold'. That was fun. Sucker for those kind of things. I think I might even go with 2 knees on the ground. Just to keep my balance as I am anticipating major stage fright... I had to respond to this. When my husband proposed for the second time, he got down on one knee. I dropped down to both of my knees to accept. I just wanted to meet him where he was. Then he kissed me. One of the sweetest moments of my life. But to answer the original question - no, you don't have to do one knee. My husband's first proposal (which I also accepted) wasn't on one knee. It needs to be genuine, not perfect. Speak from the heart and offer her you for a lifetime. She won't be able to resist! Good luck!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chumble Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I had to respond to this. When my husband proposed for the second time, he got down on one knee. I dropped down to both of my knees to accept. I just wanted to meet him where he was. Then he kissed me. One of the sweetest moments of my life. But to answer the original question - no, you don't have to do one knee. My husband's first proposal (which I also accepted) wasn't on one knee. It needs to be genuine, not perfect. Speak from the heart and offer her you for a lifetime. She won't be able to resist! Good luck!!! Why twice? I knew a guy who proposed to his wife while he was sitting on the couch cleaning his gun. They're divorced now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Why twice? I knew a guy who proposed to his wife while he was sitting on the couch cleaning his gun. They're divorced now. My hubby - not me - was disappointed in how the first proposal went. He felt like it wasn't a grand enough story. So when we found our outdoor venue for our wedding, he proposed again. The kicker? We only tell the first story typically. The second one - while sweet and more polished - wasn't "the moment" so it usually gets edited out. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 This topic came up just a couple days ago when my friends and I were having a typical female conversation.To be honest, if a potential bf propose, we would be fine with a normal proposal of him standing up. Why does he have to do the whole getting on one knee gesture?? So that's my question. Does anyone knows why does a man have to do that gesture? Or does he really have to do that? It is just tradition I mean everyone knows that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 It depends on the couple. Some couples just discuss the subject and decide to marry. Then go pick out rings together. For others, the woman might propose or the man might do a traditional proposal where he goes and buys the ring and then proposes. Link to post Share on other sites
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