Too old fashioned?

[Ann]

Okay, here's my problem. There seems to be trouble with me letting guys know i like them, and i want to know if it's me that's the problem, and how to fix it if it is!

 

The scenerio: over the past several months I have had 3 situations that could have turned into relationships, but they didn't. All of them had a common factor. I heard through other sources that these guys were interested in me. (not all at the same time of course...)

 

anyway, i don't know if i'm being old-fashioned, but rather than throw myself at these guys, i decided to wait until they themself made a move. And other than glances and subtle flirting, nothing happened. None asked me out, called me, or even emailed. Now, i'm in the situation again, and it's starting to drive me crazy! I've had two friends tell me this guy has confessed he likes me, but he hasn't approached me! What am i supposed to do?? I would say yes if he ever asked, but it's starting to annoy me that if i ever want anything, i have to do the pursuing! Am i being too old-fashioned? Please let me know. Thanks!

[Lock]

I agree that to "throw" yourself at anyone is foolish! But don't be too subtle either. You should still let him make the first move, but give him the guts to do it by being a little more obvious.

 

This one has worked for me on numerous occasions: If you're out with friends somewhere and he's there too, stare at him until he notices and turns around to face you. Don't look away. Keep a serene look on your face as though you're lost in thought about him and haven't realised he's looking. Then after about 5 seconds, let your face light up with a huge big smile and look him straight in the eye. He'll definately smile back then he'll have the guts to come up and talk. When you're actually chatting with him, laugh and smile a lot and make a few jokes. I know it's a known fact, but guys SERIOUSLY love girls who look like they're happy. It puts them at ease.

 

And I completely agree with you on the fact that guys should make the first move! We girls have to keep a little mystery about ourselves!

[Tony T]

I don't think you're too old fashioned at all. But I think in your attitude you may be putting out some strong vibrations that you're unapproachable, taken, not interested, etc.

 

A guy's biggest fear in life, more than getting a root canal at the dentist, is that of being rejected. A guy is not likely to make a move on a lady unless he has determined there is a relatively good chance of success. So somehow you need to relax your attitude and appear more receptive. Cease feeling like the guy has GOT to make the first move and just have no opinion about it. Then, I think you'll find men coming at you.

 

The very best way to meet guys, one that bypasses the pick-up scenario entirely, is to have your friends introduce you to their available guy friends. This guy who's telling others he likes you...get one of your friends to introduce you formally. Then you can start to talk and show him you are open and interested. Things may go a lot better from there.

 

Some people absolutely enjoy the flirting phase of meeting somebody and have great success at it. I think if you take it less seriously, just let it be automatic and don't tighten up so much, you will find a lot more males approaching you. In other words, lighten up and enjoy the flirting experience. Don't think you have to marry every guy who comes up to you.

 

And if a guy walks up to you and says "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?", tell him you are just trying to improve your flirting abilities.