Shikuka Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 A couple of days ago, my girlfriend asked me if it was alright if she could meet up with a friend. I said no and we got in a bit of a fight and she said atleast he was respectful and stuff. The thing was, his "friend" was his one nighter and he was the first one that took her virginity. I felt insecure if they did meet up again. I trust her but not the guy. Yesterday, I went out with my family and she told me she hanged out with him and a group of friends. I was a bit mad but i tried to cool down and try to forget about it. This afternoon, she wanted to talk to me. She was in tears and was blaming herself for everything when she told me that she let his "friend" in the house and she thought that they were just going to talk, watch the tv and he would go home. Well, she was wrong and he actually brought alcohol and got my girlfriend drunk and they had sex. She said she felt terrible and she said no and pushed him back but he push her back more. They had sex and she didn't stop it because she said everything was blurry and she wasn't thinking. What should I do? She really did feel sorry and terrible for that happening but she didn't listen to me when I knew something was up to that guy. Isn't that considered rape? Link to post Share on other sites
shadow_stang Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 End the relationship. She cheated. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
shadow_stang Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Upon seeing the alcohol he brought, she had a decision: 1) Leave, and don't drink. 2) Drink. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Point blank it's possible that he raped her, yes. But I doubt it, because she isn't like omg I got raped in her emotional reaction. She's like omg please don't be mad at me, it wasn't cheating, I swear. Also, she let this dude come over for the two of them to hang out in you two's house, alone together, knowing that would bother the **** out of you if you knew about it, and got drunk with him. He didn't "get her drunk." She got herself drunk, by her own free will. After that yeah if she was smashed as hell then it was probably a blurry experience, but looking at everything else about this situation, just has Wednesday Thursday Friday written all over it. You need to consider the reality that your girlfriend invites strange dudes into the house and gets drunk with them without you around. If she is BSing about being raped that's just flippin disgusting because women who really do get raped have a hard enough time getting any justice, don't need any cheaters crying wolf to cover their asses and making it even harder for actual victims. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) Tried to just post "dump her" but apparently you need at least 10 characters to post.... Dump her. You know what I just realized you posted the exact same thing last July. What's the deal? Edited January 9, 2015 by JS84 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 She could have left at anytime prior to the sex, if he restrained her or if she told him to stop at any time it's rape and you should take her down to the police station and file charges against him immediately. If she won't file charges than it very likely wasn't rape. Bottom line, she went against your wishes knowing how you felt about him and met him anyway. She brought him home, just the two of them(red flag), he had alcohol(red flag), she drank with him, she could have said no but instead drank to the point of absolute intoxication(red flag). I think she knew what was probably going to happen, last time they met they had sex. He was a one night stand, why should this time be different? You had good reason to be concerned, she just proved it to you by her actions. She just sh*t on you by ignoring your concerns and the very thing you were concerned about happened. Why didn't she meet him in a public place for coffee or a drink, why meet him at her house in private and allow herself to get that drunk, doesn't sound right? She doesn't sound like good girlfriend material because she doesn't honour your boundaries. You will never trust her with other men when your not with her. You will never get over the imbalance her infidelity caused unless she was raped. Tell her you want her to file charges against him, I have my doubts that she will, see what she says. Regardless if you stay with her or not file charges against this predator so he doesn't do it to another woman(if it was rape). Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) She was in tears and was blaming herself for everything when she told me that she let his "friend" in the house and she thought that they were just going to talk, watch the tv and he would go home. 1) She still met him when you mentioned your dissatisfaction. 2) Then, instead of just hanging out with him in a group setting, SHE took it a step further and invited him into his home under the pretense of "talking/watching TV"... THEN... Well, she was wrong and he actually brought alcohol and got my girlfriend drunk and they had sex. When she realized he brought over the alcohol, she could have said: 1) No to drinking. 2) No he could not drink in her home 3) Realized that she shouldn't even have invited him into her home knowing it could cause issues between you and her 4) Come to the conclusion to ask him to leave when he brought a bottle in because any dope knows what comes after that Instead with every sip, and every drink, she allowed herself to be put in a situation that she probably knew was going to happen. She said she felt terrible and she said no and pushed him back but he push her back more. They had sex and she didn't stop it because she said everything was blurry and she wasn't thinking. What should I do? She really did feel sorry and terrible for that happening but she didn't listen to me when I knew something was up to that guy. Isn't that considered rape? He could have possibly forced her - rape. Or it could be an excuse to make it look like she was a victim. The latter helps her get out of taking responsibility. Who knows? One thing you do know is that you cannot trust her. Edited January 9, 2015 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 If it was rape or not, that is up to her to deal with. She needs to learn you don't disrepect those you are dating. She also makes poor life choices. She needs to grow the f up and take responsabiliy for those choices she makes. The only way for her to learn is for you to dump her. It would be different if they had just met for coffee in a public place to chat for an hour, it's another thing to invite one into your home, consume large amounts of alcohol, then sleep with them. It's a bit far fetched unless she that dumb. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 She thought "f*ck it" when they were together, had sex with him and is now blaming it on alcohol to make herself look better. Dump her and get a real girl. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 She asked you, you said No! It ends here. I would dump her even if she was meeting him just a platonically in a public place with a group. In fact, that's exactly what i did back in the past. All the things that happened later just prove my first sentence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 ...... You know what I just realized you posted the exact same thing last July. What's the deal? A couple of days ago, my girlfriend asked me if it was alright if she could meet up with a friend. I said no and we got in a bit of a fight and she said atleast he was respectful and stuff. The thing was, his "friend" was his one nighter and he was the first one that took her virginity. I felt insecure if they did meet up again. I trust her but not the guy. Yesterday, I went out with my family and she told me she hanged out with him and a group of friends. I was a bit mad but i tried to cool down and try to forget about it. This afternoon, she wanted to talk to me. She was in tears and was blaming herself for everything when she told me that she let his "friend" in the house and she thought that they were just going to talk, watch the tv and he would go home. Well, she was wrong and he actually brought alcohol and got my girlfriend drunk and they had sex. She said she felt terrible and she said no and pushed him back but he push her back more. They had sex and she didn't stop it because she said everything was blurry and she wasn't thinking. What should I do? She really did feel sorry and terrible for that happening but she didn't listen to me when I knew something was up to that guy. Isn't that considered rape? The above quoted post isn't from this thread. It's from THIS one. 15th July 2014. Absolutely, word for word, exactly the same post. This is bogus, and the OP is scamming. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TylerTyrone Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Your gf is full of s**t. I would not trust her if i were you, she cheated. The alcohol was just an excuse. She knew what she got herself into. She probably wanted to seek a thrill and some adventure.... well she got what she wanted...and now she is crying like a baby...? If she cheated before, she will cheat again. Kick her out. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Your gf is full of s**t. I would not trust her if i were you, she cheated. The alcohol was just an excuse. She knew what she got herself into. She probably wanted to seek a thrill and some adventure.... well she got what she wanted...and now she is crying like a baby...? If she cheated before, she will cheat again. Kick her out. You deserve better. IT's a sham thread, it's not real,.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 This just sounds like your posts from before. Time to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 This just sounds like your posts from before. Time to move on. LMAO!! Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Her excuse is bull ****. Get rid of her Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 On the off chance this is actually real. You told her you didn't want her hanging out with this guy and she fought you on it. Strike one. You had something going on with your family and she told you that she was going to go hang out with this dude with a group of friends out in public. Only to find out that she lied to you. There was no group of friends and public actually meant those two alone in the privacy of her own home. Strike two. She had sex with him. Strike three. She outta there! Now, the way she described the event is as if she got drunk and raped. Tell her to get in your car because you're taking her to the police station to file charges of rape on this guy. If she refuses then chances are it wasn't rape and it was planned and consensual. either way, you need to drop her like a bad habit. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 (edited) Any ladies out there reading this? This topic is a prime example of why you can't stay friends with any guy you have banged in the past if you are in a relationship with someone. A textbook example. The fact that she even asked to hang with him should of been enough to get rid of her. As to the issue of rape, if it is rape that is serious and the OP needs to get the girl to go to the cops. However, he also still needs to absolutely break up with her. If she was raped that still means she went and hung out with the guy after the OP made it clear he didn't like it and then she got decided to get wasted around a bunch of dudes. I hate to say this though, but she probably wasn't raped. What probably happened is she combined being mad at you with copious amounts of booze and then she added in some other dudes as well, one of which she has sexual history with. If she was truly raped I just want to say..do not let that fact prevent you from doing the right thing and breaking up with her. If you are having relationship troubles and your response is to go get wasted and hang around members of the opposite sex you are just playing with fire. So to the OP: break up with her and never look back. Ignoring everything else..the fact she went and hung out with the guy at all is enough to dump her. Even if they hung out and nothing happened, it would be enough to drop her. Edited January 11, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
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