Author gnick Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 I know she's not interested in kids. All I know is she enjoyed my company for around six months or so it seemed to me. She's around 7 years younger which I don't think is that much different. I work out stay healthy and look and act younger than I am. Also this was an attractive girl but I loved her for her personality and intelligence. My ex wife was way hotter than this girl but there's no question who I would rather be with. I agree she's probably not coming back unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 Just read this - "an average of twice a month all the way to the end." - what sort of relationsihp was that??? I see my butcher more often. That was supposed to say twice a week 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 That was supposed to say twice a week That's better. LOL! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 Last night after 3weeks of no contact I called and texted my ex. She has mostly ignored me since the breakup. Last night I drank to much and left some really angry texts along with a call. If it wasn't allready screwed up I finished it off. Learn from my mistake and block the number on your phone before you start no contact. I feel pretry bad about this Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Meh I did the same thing with my last ex. Pretty much sealed it and I actually think it was for the better. You'll be ok, just need time. I do agree though, block your ex's #! Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Ouch. That stinks. Well... crap happens. You demonstrated your humanness. I find it quite endearing. I think this stuff is par for the course, honestly. Well at least you got yourself a new goal... to make it past week three this time in nc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 Yes new goal lol. Maybe I'll try calling in a year and see if she will answer then Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 I also wanted to add that she called about 3 weeks after the breakup and left a message saying she knows it's horrible to say but she just isn't feeling it.I didn't do anything wrong .I'm a great guy and she just wants to be friends. If I don't want that then we don't have a future. All in a lovely disinterested slightly annoyed monotone Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I didn't do anything wrong .I'm a great guy and she just wants to be friends. Awesome Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've been contacting my ex on and off for about 2 and a half months. I was at 3 weeks nc untill this thurs. I'm sure she broke it off due to low attraction but I was allways very good to her. No arguments etc. What I don't understand is she just completely quit talking to me after the break. The few times I've been in contact is only after I practicaly forced her to talk to me. I've had days when I've texted a few times but I haven't blown up her phone . I understand why I shouldn't contact her but how could she just stop talking to me like that.not even a Christmas or new year text. I read alot of posts on here about ex girlfriends contacting after 3 weeks or so .this won't be my case. How does a person become so cometely apathetic in such a short time? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've been contacting my ex on and off for about 2 and a half months. I was at 3 weeks nc untill this thurs. I'm sure she broke it off due to low attraction but I was allways very good to her. No arguments etc. What I don't understand is she just completely quit talking to me after the break. The few times I've been in contact is only after I practicaly forced her to talk to me. I've had days when I've texted a few times but I haven't blown up her phone . I understand why I shouldn't contact her but how could she just stop talking to me like that.not even a Christmas or new year text. I read alot of posts on here about ex girlfriends contacting after 3 weeks or so .this won't be my case. How does a person become so cometely apathetic in such a short time? The fact that you are so needy isn't helping matters. She doesn't want to talk to you because a) she wants to move on and b) you keep pestering her for contact. Any chance of her having any sort of whimsical nostalgia in regards to you disappears every time you send her a text. So stop. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 If someone doesn't want to talk to someone, they don't have to. That's a fundamental right that everyone has. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I've been contacting my ex on and off for about 2 and a half months. I was at 3 weeks nc untill this thurs. I'm sure she broke it off due to low attraction but I was allways very good to her. No arguments etc. What I don't understand is she just completely quit talking to me after the break. The few times I've been in contact is only after I practicaly forced her to talk to me. I've had days when I've texted a few times but I haven't blown up her phone . I understand why I shouldn't contact her but how could she just stop talking to me like that.not even a Christmas or new year text. I read alot of posts on here about ex girlfriends contacting after 3 weeks or so .this won't be my case. How does a person become so cometely apathetic in such a short time? You are absolutely NOT supposed to be in touch with her, for any reason whatsoever! She's your EX! You shouldn't be contacting her! She is doing precisely the right thing by ignoring you! Go No Contact, leave her alone! She dumped you for a reason, which means one thing, and one thing only: She is not interested in having you in her life, and your continued efforts are beginning to Pizz her off!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 No they don't have to talk to you. It sure has knocked the hell out of my confidence though. Ive allways worked out and stayed fit and I look pretty good especially for 51 but I feel like a worthless piece of ****. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 No they don't have to talk to you. It sure has knocked the hell out of my confidence though. Why?? You shouldn't permit how people treat you, or how they do or do not interact with you, validate how you feel about yourself. Confidence is yours and comes from within. If you let others affect that, then that's your problem to face, it's not anyone else's fault.... Ive allways worked out and stayed fit and I look pretty good especially for 51 but I feel like a worthless piece of ****. And how can you, as a man with a brain between his ears, work on changing that? What are you going to do about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 You are absolutely NOT supposed to be in touch with her, for any reason whatsoever! She's your EX! You shouldn't be contacting her! She is doing precisely the right thing by ignoring you! Go No Contact, leave her alone! She dumped you for a reason, which means one thing, and one thing only: She is not interested in having you in her life, and your continued efforts are beginning to Pizz her off!! It may be her right and she maybe doing exactly the right thing but I think it's pretty ****ty. We had a very good relationship with no evidence of problems untill maybe 2 weeks before the break. All I know is unless someone did something ****ty to me I wouldn't do this to them. Unless they became anoying I would talk to them some. To me it's just the ultimate in cruelty. I know I need to be in NC Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 It may be her right and she maybe doing exactly the right thing but I think it's pretty ****ty. We had a very good relationship with no evidence of problems untill maybe 2 weeks before the break. All I know is unless someone did something ****ty to me I wouldn't do this to them. Unless they became anoying I would talk to them some. To me it's just the ultimate in cruelty. I know I need to be in NC It's not s--tty at all. It's something she's doing out of necessity because you don't seem to be taking a hint. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I know everyone is right and these are the responses I expected. I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up right now and that's the truth Link to post Share on other sites
Invictus01 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Hey man, here is the deal. A 43 year old woman, after months of dating, doesn't even bother to pick up the phone and call you and dumps you with a text. This isn't high school. This a grown up woman doing that. Things don't get much more disrespectful than that. Show her that you respect yourself and walk away like she never existed. You are better than this childish BS. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Is there ever any good way to dump someone? The dumpee is not going to be happy whichever way it is done. "she took me for a lovely meal and then told me it is over", "she walked out the door, never to return", "she keeps coming round with soup and sympathy, but says it is definitely over" "she told me I am wonderful, but we are through..." The fact of the matter is that the dumper has to make sure that the dumpee is in no doubt they are finished and for someone who may actually still love the dumpee that may be hard to do face to face. The finality of the act may seem cruel, but how else can it be done? The bit that cuts to the core is the fact the relationship is finished, how it is done is immaterial, there is no good way to deliver that news. However the dumpee in their hurt state tends to get obsessed with the how and then they get onto the why. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gnick Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 In my case I'm more upset about stopping all contact.she could have talked to me a little every once in awhile. I know everyone will say otherwise but that would have been better I think. Ofcourse if I would have immediately went no contact I wouldn't have to worry about it. So ultimately my fault Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Believe me it is better to go no contact and keep well away from even hearing about how she is & what she is getting up to. Contact just keeps the wounds open. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Invictus01 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Is there ever any good way to dump someone? The dumpee is not going to be happy whichever way it is done. "she took me for a lovely meal and then told me it is over", "she walked out the door, never to return", "she keeps coming round with soup and sympathy, but says it is definitely over" "she told me I am wonderful, but we are through..." The fact of the matter is that the dumper has to make sure that the dumpee is in no doubt they are finished and for someone who may actually still love the dumpee that may be hard to do face to face. The finality of the act may seem cruel, but how else can it be done? The bit that cuts to the core is the fact the relationship is finished, how it is done is immaterial, there is no good way to deliver that news. However the dumpee in their hurt state tends to get obsessed with the how and then they get onto the why. No no no... It matters very much how it is done. If you are gonna go ahead and hurt somebody, that's cool. The relationship is done, that's cool too. But have the maturity of a grown up person to do it. A 43 year old high powered sales exec knows how to deal with people. Has she closed a lot of deals via a text? Has she dumped a lot of clients via a text? No? Then have the balls that you have in your professional life and use them in your personal life too. Otherwise, you are plain and simple disrespecting the person you are/were with. Plain and simple. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 The biggest key to mental and emotional health is the acceptance of reality as it currently is. The reality has changed. You need to update your map. Then you have to make sure that you successfully adapt to the new reality. That takes time. You're not there yet, but that adaptation is what will make it possible for you to have a life that works. Remember that and give it some thought. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 No no no... It matters very much how it is done. If you are gonna go ahead and hurt somebody, that's cool. The relationship is done, that's cool too. But have the maturity of a grown up person to do it. A 43 year old high powered sales exec knows how to deal with people. Has she closed a lot of deals via a text? Has she dumped a lot of clients via a text? No? Then have the balls that you have in your professional life and use them in your personal life too. Otherwise, you are plain and simple disrespecting the person you are/were with. Plain and simple. But it still doesn't alter the fact, he is still dumped. She can respect or disrespect all she likes, he is still dumped. She could have written a 20 page dissertation on the subject, but it makes no difference, he is stll dumped. I would guess, 20 pages to obsess over every word. We have all been there, nothing helps. One day at a time and gradually our lives fall back into place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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