Flirting with a friend, your friend has dated ?

[FaithInTheDark]

Okay, I'm just seeking thoughts on a situation here.

I have two friends that I have known for years. They dated each other for like two years over 5 years ago.

My girlfriend treated him like crap, which was strange to see because he is literally the best guy any girl could have.

This guy is very handsome too but has no idea either lol.abd completely oblivious to women trying to make moves on him.

 

Well, him and I have both moved to different towns recently but have been texting everyday.

I haven't seen such a chatty side to him. And he's made comments and passes at me which I didn't know he was capable off.

Example- called me attractive, asked about sexy clothes I have, saying he would come to my city to see me things like that.

Now I know he could just be harmless flirting but it feels like he's into me more then a friend with these comments and texting everyday.

I feel like if he did come out to visit me, things could happen.i see him in s different light now that I've gotta this vibe from him.

I know this should probably be off limits since a close friend of mine but its been over 5 years since they dated and she's moved on with a family and kids now.

Any thoughts , I'm not going to act on this really, it's just with our frequent communication, I care about him. But don't want to be fabricating feelings from harmless flirting and be a bad friend either.

[JenniferSM]

When you say the dated do you mean they had a serious relationship? Was it a mutual break up?

 

I think that if your friend has moved on and is married with children then there shouldn't be too much of a problem, especially if they broke up mutually and on good terms. Could you not speak to her about it? Tell her the situation, say that he seems to be flirting with you and you don't want to continue things if it's going to be any sort of problem for her?

 

It definitely sounds like he likes you and if he came to visit you, you may get into a situation where you could upset your friend or take things too far with him so you don't want to leave it. Act now by being honest with your friend. That way you avoid getting in too deep if she does have a problem and if she doesn't have a problem you avoid missing out on something that could be good for you.

 

Answer my thread if you have time? Thanks

[preraph]

I think if she's still a good old friend, you should just have a quick chat with her about it. She's married now, so...unless you're planning on bringing him around and it's awkward for her or him, then I should think she'd be okay with it by now, but you cannot be sure. Since she's married, she ought to be. If she's someone you never talk to anymore, then don't bother, but if you stay in contact, then give her a call and say, " I hear from ___ more than ever now." See how she responds. And then tell her sometimes it's flirty and that you've been cautious because of her past relationship with him but that you might want to see if it does anywhere.

 

Probably she will just fill your ear with bad things about him, and you might want to listen just in case, but hopefully she'll say "go for it," and if she doesn't, well, you did let her know.

[O'Malley]

If you're still close with your girlfriend, I'd suggest casually bringing him up with her as Preraph suggested.

 

Even though it sounds like she's happily moved on, there's still the possibility of awkwardness if you were to become involved with him. Regardless of who did what in the relationship, it wasn't a casual dating situation, and there might be unsettled feelings on both sides. I'd also ask yourself what makes him so attractive to you - is there something about him that you haven't found in other guys you've dated, or were you really attracted to him years ago, and envied your friend that she was with him?

 

Certainly you don't need her permission if you and this guy want to meet up and see where things go, but I'd retain a bit of caution and evaluate your reasons and this guy's integrity before diving into this situation.

[FaithInTheDark]

I am close friends with the girlfriend. They ended on okay terms ...they broke up because she cheated on him several times.

I think if for certain something is happening with us , I will mentioned it to her but I think it might be too soon.

Him and I are good friends, he's always been attractive but felt unobtainable since I've witnessed friends say he's never responded to their attempts of making a move.

I've even mentioned this to him and he looked surprised that girls are into him. He's been single since he was with my girlfriend.

I never looked at him as a possibility because a)we are friends b) he was with my friend c) he never show a sign to be interested in anyone.

Now that he's texting me almost everyday and showing signs of interest..

He has a good job and I joked about him being my sugar daddy, he said if he had all the money in the world, he would buy me whatever I wanted. id never care about him buying me things but it sounds like he likes me?

.. I guess the wheels are turning in my head a bit.

He is such a kind soul, he's a good man.

I'm not sure what to do but if he comes to visit like he said ,,, I'll talk to my friend

Thank you guys xxo

Edited January 10, 2015 by FaithInTheDark