LoveOneAnother Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 I suspect he is cheating on me, but dont know how I could possiably find out for sure. He is a PI for a living. He knows all of the tricks, he knows about all of the equipment, and hes the only PI in our area. He stays out all night and claims to fall asleep while hes on the job, or falls asleep at parties. Sometimes hes sorry other times hes blaming me for not wanting to come home. I dont have access to any of his phone bills. He has his own phone line and cell phone. I already know that he has a lot of female friends. They call, they party. I dont know what to think. Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 in some ways it's unimportant if he's cheating. you don't trust him, and he's doing nothing to reassure you. that's what you must consider. good relationships don't need to be 'bugged' for you to believe everything is okay. you don't feel secure in the relationship. you mistrust the fact he has female party friends and makes up shaky excuses to stay out all night. your gut instinct should tell you a working relationship does not feel like this. and he must be a very bad PI indeed if he falls asleep on the job. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 He's your boyfriend, not you husband. Start setting clear boundaries on what kind of behavior is acceptable in your relationship, and what is not. If he doesn't agree, then you probably don't have a strong enough relationship to continue. Drop him, and drive on. Hate to sound brusque, but from my perspective that's how I feel on the subject. You both need to either find an acceptable solution to the problem so that he can truly show you that he's not cheating and he reassures you about that, or you need to find someone who will. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy you'll catch, so there are your options. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveOneAnother Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 BlueTuesday, I hate to admit it, but your right. What in the world am I hoping to gain by finding out if he is cheating on me? I have to look at the real issues at hand, the only ones I do know as a fact. He stays out all night and doesnt care to change his behavior regardless as to how bad it hurts me. He lies to me on a regular basis, hes unreliable, undependable and setting a bad example for our kids. He is unwilling to change. Only person who can is me. Love isnt supposed to be so unsure and hurt so much. thank you! Owl, thank you too! I am doing this right now... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 He lies to me on a regular basis, hes unreliable, undependable and setting a bad example for our kids. He's your boyfriend, not your husband but there are KIDS involved???? OK this changes everything. Husband or not he OWES you an explanation of some kind. Tell him to decide wtf he wants. You and the kids or he's OUT. Plain and simple. If he is treating you as badly as you say then yes, the children should not be around that and it does set up bad examples of how a woman should be treated in a relationship. How old are your children? The fact he is a PI and can keep it all secret and away from you isn't cool. He may/may not be up to something but listen to your gut. You probably know deep down that something isn't right. Question is, what are you going to do about it.... Keep posting and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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