Hase & Honey

[mertesweater]

Hi (I'm from Malaysia) I just joined this so I could share my story about my LDR which I am pretty sure it's considered that, it only lasted 2 months quite short as everyone would say but it was filled with so much memories. Anyways I met him on an app and it was funny I have been trying to find a person to teach me German cause my dad told me I could go apply after my diploma ( which I am doing now ) after a few days there was no luck so I gave up then one day I stumbled upon him, I wanted to skip him but something in me said no and he said hi first, so I asked him to teach me German because turns out he's German and he really did I told him after a week we talked that if I kept talking to him I would eventually like him and he replied "I'm flattered". I was taken aback of course but I rubbed it off my shoulder and he told me " I will never fall in love ever again and I will be forever alone" and from then on I kept my feelings aside and try to talk to him less. Eventually I got the courage to ask him if he likes me because he started using an emoji which gave a kiss and he said yes which made me happy of course, fast forward to a few more weeks we were arguing and I was crying badly because I was so insecure with myself and he was really a good looking guy, tall and green eyes everything. He told me those three words which I expected not to hear ever from him ever since he told me that he will never fall in love again and I cried more because I realized I love him too. The next day he asked me to be his girlfriend ( I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend ) because he didn't want me to be with anyone else when I started college and we both wanted to meet each other ( this year in August which is our anniversary month ) so we planned it out and I told my dad about him since he told his mom about me and it went smooth coming from my dad who hates me meeting people online. Anyways things went downhill as I was really insecure and a bit controlling. And finally he couldnt take it anymore so he ended it. For weeks I cried so hard and in classes too but finally I stopped and I talked to him again and he told me this will be the last time we will talk. I got sad of course, and on that day he got my letter from me. so it was tragic I would say and he told me he doesn't believe we will ever meet in Germany ( since it's my dream to study there and I know it will happen ) and thats the main reason why he ended it and I asked him since you listen to Phil Collins so much why can't you believe in love and he said he does and I asked him why not with me, and that is when he took so long to type and only sent a goodbye and he told me he loves me and he blocked me.

 

and that is how my LDR was it was really reallly great at first but it went bad when I kept comparing myself with other girls and all those small things how he drinks beer but Germans always drink beer or how he plays LoL but I realized now lots of guys game. to me now it has been 3 months since that day and I wished him a happy new year and also I sent him a message on Skype since he didnt block me there, but he didnt reply until now and my birthday was just two days ago he didnt wish me. I weirdly don't feel that sad, I have this gut feeling I will end up with him when I finally am in Germany and when I have applied to the university I want to go there, and majority of my friends are baffled that I am still believing and not "moving on". I have moved on but from the negative parts and I have learned my mistakes from that relationship so now I am ready for him to come back and I know he will he just needs time to heal too

 

sorry if this doesn't give you motivation as it doesn't have a happy ending yet but it will either way it will to those if you really love them and you can't stop thinking about them everyday even for a small moment don't give up and have faith and hope they will come back and be positive because hell I'm so positive now that he's mine and that I will be with him in Germany but for now we need space and as they say distance makes the heart grow fonder :bunny:

[justwhoiam]

my dad told me I could go apply after my diploma

Apply? What? What are you talking about?

 

we were arguing and I was crying badly because I was so insecure with myself and he was really a good looking guy, tall and green eyes everything

You argued because he was good looking? Why did you argue?

Also, how do you know he was good looking? Did you see a picture of him?

Did you ever see him on webcam?

How old are you?

 

things went downhill as I was really insecure and a bit controlling

What did you do? How did things go downhill?

 

I talked to him again and he told me this will be the last time we will talk

That was a definitive statement.

 

on that day he got my letter from me

By standard mail? What was in the letter?

 

he told me he doesn't believe we will ever meet in Germany

Where are you from? If you told him you were going to Germany this August, what made him believe you're not going?

 

thats the main reason why he ended it and I asked him since you listen to Phil Collins so much why can't you believe in love and he said he does and I asked him why not with me, and that is when he took so long to type and only sent a goodbye and he told me he loves me and he blocked me.

What was the main reason to break up with you? That you were going to Germany or that you were not going there??

 

it went bad when I kept comparing myself with other girls and all those small things how he drinks beer but Germans always drink beer or how he plays LoL but I realized now lots of guys game.

Your post is so confusing. You complained with him that he would drink and type LOLs? Or what?

 

it has been 3 months since that day and I wished him a happy new year and also I sent him a message on Skype since he didnt block me there, but he didnt reply until now and my birthday was just two days ago he didnt wish me.

Isn't that clear enough he doesn't want to talk to you anymore? Maybe he got scared you're kind of a psycho-girl.

 

I have this gut feeling I will end up with him when I finally am in Germany

And how do you see that happening? You have his cell phone number? His home address? Do you want to stalk him? Or should it just happen by chance when you are crossing the street?

 

majority of my friends are baffled that I am still believing and not "moving on"

Even strangers are baffled.

 

now I am ready for him to come back and I know he will he just needs time to heal too

Heal from what? There's little chance he comes back if he's not in love with you.

 

it doesn't have a happy ending yet but it will

Did you give yourself an end time for this, like the end of your trip in Germany, or will your hopes be up for the rest of your life and not dating anyone for the rest of your life because of this guy you talked to for 2 months?

 

don't give up and have faith and hope they will come back and be positive because hell I'm so positive now that he's mine and that I will be with him in Germany

Tell me you're 16. Are you?

[mertesweater]

 

First I am 19 second, I'm doing my diploma in Interior Design and I would like to apply to Germany to the University of Applied Sciences in Dusseldorf for Interior Architecture/Architecture. Second he's not an old man he's my age which is 19 too, so we of course send selfies and I know how he looks like, and yes he's good-looking do you know how insecure many girls feel around good-looking guys? Well I was one of them but I became confident with my self-appearance thanks. Thirdly yes it was a letter because we also send letters to each other, as its a scientific fact that letters contain more emotion than just plain texts. And I already said I'm from Malaysia. Funny it's not typing LOLs it is playing the game LoL ( League of Legends it's an online game like Dota 2 if you have even heard of it ). Fourthly I do have his cell-phone number because he gave if to me if that doesnt shock you and yes I do have his address cause he gave it to me so I could write him letters, but why would I stalk him it's immature I'm not 9 I am 19.

 

And lastly you shouldn't judge, you might think yeah it's just pathetic two months but you are not in my shoes so you can't say oh she's a pyscho-girl or she's 16 or younger. And here I was just sharing how it was, yes the chances of him are coming back are low but I have hope and faith, it's funny how so many people take the word " hope " so lightly when they don't have that much. Anyways I'm a positive about my future and for you to say something like this in this manner is quite immature for I presume you are older than me.

 

I am sharing my story to let people know that having hope and faith about someone is great it really changes you and makes you happy to the point you realize hey I don't really need a guy in my life for now. So that's me in my state I don't need a guy now but I still love him, but I don't stalk him or anything you assume no, I just think of him fondly that's all. I do believe he is coming back because I'm that confident and you don't know him at all so you seriously can't judge but I do appreciate the time taken for you to reply to my thread

 

Finally I am sorry that my post confused you, you must have a very very very hard time reading this and with all those judgmental thoughts filling in as you read it so it must have been hard so I am sorry for the inconvenienced caused.

[Els]

Welcome to LS, merte.

 

Let's say this guy doesn't exist. Would you still want to go study in Germany?

 

If the answer is yes, then by all means go anyway. Studying abroad is an amazing experience if you can afford it.

 

If the answer is no, please for the love of God do NOT go to Germany hoping you will get back together. You know the cost of international tuition fees. Are you going to blow all of that away on a man who hasn't even spoken to you for the past 3 months?

 

Also... have you spoken on webcam before? I hate to say this, but pictures and letters can be sent from anyone - there have been a few cases where the man was distinctly not who he said he was. Even if you trust him, there is no reason not to webcam in this day and age. If his phone can take a picture and send it online, he can install Skype and webcam with you on it.

Edited January 11, 2015 by Elswyth

[justwhoiam]

Thank you for answering most of my questions.

 

we of course send selfies and I know how he looks like

As Elswyth pointed out, anyone can send pictures. That alone doesn't prove much.

 

you shouldn't judge, you might think yeah it's just pathetic

I didn't think that. Funny how you tell me I shouldn't judge, but you do. What you call judging, I call expressing one's opinion, and it can be helpful. If not to you, for some other reader. Because this forum is public.

 

for you to say something like this in this manner is quite immature

What bothered you exactly?

 

I am sharing my story to let people know that having hope and faith about someone is great

I understand your being full of hope and feeling good about it, short-term. But will you feel the same long-term if he won't come back? Will you hold up your hopes forever? Or did you set up an end time for this?

 

I do believe he is coming back because I'm that confident and you don't know him at all so you seriously can't judge but I do appreciate the time taken for you to reply to my thread

Thank you. I asked all those questions to understand your situation better, not for fun.

Of course I don't know him. But how well can you know him? You've never seen him walking, eating, talking, interacting with other people, with girls, family, and so much more.

 

I am sorry that my post confused you, you must have a very very very hard time reading this

This? No, your second post was clearer than the first one. Your opening post appears kind of delirious. I'm not sure if that's just my impression. But I guess it comes from your inflatuation. Many people falling in love would come across as delirious. What strikes here though is that it still goes on after he cut you off his life. And it looks like you didn't process that, because you keep saying you know he will be back to you.

 

and with all those judgmental thoughts filling in as you read it

When many details are lacking, you can either ask or assume. You are going the second route

 

You wrote:

I am sharing my story to let people know that having hope and faith about someone is great it really changes you and makes you happy to the point you realize hey I don't really need a guy in my life for now.

1) Having hope and faith about someone makes people happy

2) And it makes people happy to the point they realize they don't need a partner in their life at present

Now, I wonder how many people would agree with the above statements.

Keeping up your hopes about a guy who cut you off his life can make you feel great, but that doesn't mean it can work for anyone. Or even, it makes you feel good now, but what about in 6 months? In a year? In 5 years? Is that a kind of hope that can be put aside so that you can go on with your life and you can eventually fall in love with someone else, or is it the kind that will make you hang in there till when he comes back, because after all you don't need a guy right now?

 

Should you want to encourage other people being successful in their LDR, it might be helpful to share what exactly led to the break up, what were the reasons of your arguments, so that other people can avoid making the same mistakes.

 

Also, you mentioned that he received your letter on the day he broke up with you. Could it possibly have a role in his decision? What was in the letter? Maybe it scared him away.

 

Plus, have you thought that external pressures might have influenced this newborn relationship? You might hate this, but Germans are aware of their own financial power and can consequently be very cautious with people from other countries, like Eastern European countries or South Asian countries.

 

And cultural differences might be deeper than a drinking habit.

 

Do you think he's in love with you? Have you considered the option that he might not be in love with you? And how does that make you feel?