BAKUNIN Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 Marie1973 excuse me I don`t mean to sound harsh but just how many times do you want us all to wish you luck before you really open your eyes and see that he is not leaving? Anyhow : GOOD LUCK Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 Don't trust anyone!!! like married men who are having affairs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted April 11, 2005 Author Share Posted April 11, 2005 Bak- I know this is the very last time though. I mean it!! I only asked for your good luck wishes 1 other time. This will be the last time i ask for it :-) Link to post Share on other sites
BAKUNIN Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 [color=red][font=arial]GOOD LUCK[/font][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 JJ003, I know it's not easy and that's why you should stop things before they start - just like with drugs or cigarettes. It's too late when you become an addict. Every woman should say to herself "NO MM!" Marie, sorry, I can't wish you luck for what you want. I can't wish somebody's husband to leave her and the children because of another woman and I can't wish YOU a cheater for a husband. I wish you good luck in getting over him and I wish you to find the right guy and be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Marie, sorry, I can't wish you luck for what you want. I can't wish somebody's husband to leave her and the children because of another woman and I can't wish YOU a cheater for a husband. I wish you good luck in getting over him and I wish you to find the right guy and be happy. I am sorry, I have to agree. I can't wish anyone luck who wants a mm to leave their W and children to be w/ them. He is playing you for a fool. Hope you realized that now and have moved on to find a SG to make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Circles Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Out of curiosity, you have not posted in a few days. Are things going in your favor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Hello He has til next sunday to make his move, may 1st. No nothing has be done yet. He has a little over a week to get moving Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by Marie1973 Hello All Well I just spoke to my man this morning & I asked when he is leaving & he said that he'll take care of it this weekend. So wish me luck all! This is a huge step for him. If he doesn't leave this weekend, he's never going to do it & I'm walking away once & for all!! Wish me luck. I'll keep u posted!! What happened to this? Almost a month ago, you were apparently gonna give him til the weekend. I'll reiterate what someone said long time ago.. wake up. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 I am sorry Marie but you waiting for something that probably wont happen. TG I don't have to live in your shoes. I couldn't imagine the he!! you are going through waiting. Dump this mm, and go on w/ your life. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Do you have a career back up plan in case things don't work out? This guy is your boss, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted April 22, 2005 Author Share Posted April 22, 2005 Hello Last month his daughter was going on vacation & he couldn't ruin her vacation by leaving . He said May 1, so we will see. No career back up, he is not my dircect boss. He is my boss's boss. I don't report directly to him so i'll be ok Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Well I hope things work out for you but honestly I can't see it happening. Shield your heart Marie. Surround yourself with some good girlfriends and keep busy. When May 1st rolls around and he is/isn't a no show atleast you have some company. Are you going to end it with him if he doesn't follow through with his plans? Do you still feel that way or are you going to stay and wait longer... I'm not saying this to hurt you, you're hurting enough now as it is, but really think hard what it is you want out of this MM if he isn't committing to you and keeps putting you on the backburner. How long can you wait before ya get burned even more? Take care of yourself. Keep posting and venting if you need to. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Is anyone here a betting person? I bet you a million dollars he does not leave his wife. and if he does, he goes back to her within a 6 months. Anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted April 23, 2005 Author Share Posted April 23, 2005 Hello Well guys, i'm starting to think that u all r right. I just have a funny feeling that he's not going to make his move by may 1. He hasn't brought any more clothes or things to our apartment. I am going to be destroyed if he doesn't leave but yes, i am ending it with him if he doesn't leave by May 1. I don't want to hear anymore excuses. I have to move on with my life. I might need your support , hope u all can help me threw it Starting to worry Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 24, 2005 Share Posted April 24, 2005 Hang in there Marie. If he doesn't move in, come and vent away. No Foolin' has an amazing thread in the coping section (here it is) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ and man, I wish I had this insight when I was younger and going through break-ups in my teen years and 20's. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Circles Posted April 24, 2005 Share Posted April 24, 2005 I know you may feel alone, true me, I know what you are going through. No matter the out come of this situation, you STILL have a full life ahead of you. People on this site give excellent advice, I hope that you will start to incorporate some into your everyday living so that you can stay healthy emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted April 24, 2005 Author Share Posted April 24, 2005 ok thanks guys for all your support i;ll keep u all posted. this is going to be sooooooooooooo hard. Link to post Share on other sites
notrust Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Hey Marie - How is it going? What is he telling you this week? Do you believe him? Thinking about you and hope you are handling everything. Come vent if you need to. Notrust Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marie1973 Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 Notrust - THanks for your concern My man said that he is leaving this sunday & taking Monday off to move the rest of his stuff into our apartment. I believe he is going to move 90% - 10% he won't I'll keep u all posted. I'm sure i'll be back to vent & ask for help trying to understand why he didn't leave if he doesn't. Cause i'm not gong to understand. THanks Link to post Share on other sites
phillygirl63 Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 I find it fascinating that MMs always say the same thing. Doesn't matter where they are from in the world, their talk is universal. "My wife and I are just existing together. We haven't made love in years. I'm only in the marriage for the sake of the children. I'm leaving as soon as little Marci graduates from high school, no make that college, wait maybe until after her wedding. Really, once she enters the nursing home. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda". Really, it's amazing that with so many cheating mms that they only have a few of the same old excuses. Ladies, they aren't going to leave their wives. Rarely does that happen. And they are selfish enough to keep you on a string. I had a very good friend who was in love with a married man (which was very difficult for me as I was hearing her story knowing that my husband had had an affair - but I tried to remain neutral and help her along). My friend's mm told her that they would be together as soon as the daughter went back to school from the summer, then it was after her birthday, then it was the holidays...he never would just break it off with my friend until his wife found out and then forget it...friend dumped and he stayed with his wife. Even if the kids are grown the men really don't want to leave their home, their friends, their family and yes even their wife. They want holidays spent together with the wife and kids and future grandkids. Men truly don't like change. Especially in their family life. And I think when push comes to shove, no matter what they may tell you, their love and loyalty (however messed up!) truly is with the wife. Sorry, but you need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
notrust Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 I totally agree. 7 weeks ago I would have fought tooth and nail for the fact that my MM loved me and we were different. I absolutely believed him. It has been the hardest period of my life, because I now know that he was not being truthful with me. He was totally out to save his own @ss and didn't care about me what-so-ever. He had me totally snowballed, After 5 years I still believed him. I am just posting this to tell you that no matter how much you think you are in love, no matter how much you KNOW that they love you, you don't stand a chance when it comes to them losing everything they have worked for their entire lives. Their home, their family and so on. It doesn't matter what you have given up for them, they will look out for #1. I gave up my home and family. I walked away from everything for him. I to this day think that he had every intention of being there for me, but when it came right down to it, he wasn't strong enough. Good luck Marie! I am praying for you. Link to post Share on other sites
phillygirl63 Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 Notrust, I'm sorry that you are feeling so much pain. But it sounds like you learned a lot and would never get yourself into that situation again. Your screen name breaks my heart. It may be difficult to believe this now but I really think there are men out there that you can trust and if you are opened to the right ones you'll find him. You may not want to hear this, but you really are better off without him and you'll realize that in time. Take care of yourself. This is cheesy but when I found out my husband was having an affair I got on the treadmill and cranked up Christina Aguillera's (pardon the spelling) "Fighter" and ran like hell. It made me feel strong and so much better about myself. So if you're not already, get out and do some exercise or express yourself in some way that makes you feel powerful - something that you can do that in no way has anything to do with him. You'll get through it girl...I can tell you're a strong cookie! Link to post Share on other sites
MistressD Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 Marie1973, I really wish you luck! I would hope that some of these MM have some truth in them. Please let us know. Notrust, Are you still in no contact? I read one of your earlier posts on him and his wife make appearances in the community claiming their marriage was better. I think that was u??? I remember being the W and I did the same thing but down deep the marriage was not better. I only wanted it to look that way. I only wanted to hurt the OW by making it known to the public what she had done to our home and her that little plot didnt work because our marriage is better. It was a farce. One year later, the marriage died. But, there is something in the W that has to maintain that image. I felt driven to prove the marriage was better. Hard to explain. But, now I am the OW and have better understanding of things. Link to post Share on other sites
notrust Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 I am in NC. I have made only one attempt to communicate with him. I have been hearing all these lies that he or his wife are saying. I called his phone when I knew he wouldn't have it on and left a message telling him to stop the lies. I told him that he had his perfect little life, so let me try to get mine back. I also said that I was done lying. Period. I had lied to family and friends for 5 years while I was involved with him and I am done. So I let him know that if I talked about the affair, it would be the truth, and that I had lots of physical evidence to back it up. He knows that I have the phone bills, all the cards, letters and gifts he gave me. I also keep a journal. So basically I just called him on the lies and told him that I would stay out of their lives as long as he stopped lying. I haven't heard as much crap being said since then. So I don't know if I scared him or not. Their public appearances have died down dramatically since the first few weeks. They kept showing up all lovey and couldn't keep their hands off each other. I never put myself in a place where I would see it, but was told by people what was going on. They haven't been seen as much lately. W insists to everyone that her marriage is better than ever and MM doesn't say much to anyone. I feel like I am moving past all the pain. Each day gets a little easier. I don't miss him like I did, and I can now see the bad stuff. I could never see that when I was involved with him. The person that I was so in love with doesn't/didn't exist. I just thought he did. I know that I deserve better. I am not a bad person, I am a person who made bad choices. I will NEVER make this mistake again. Notrust Link to post Share on other sites
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