banditt7 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 So i was married 21 yrs.been seperated for over a yr.. Divorce final june of last yr.and yet this still sucks...why does it seem so f-n easy for her??? Quote
LoveMyCat Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 So i was married 21 yrs.been seperated for over a yr.. Divorce final june of last yr.and yet this still sucks...why does it seem so f-n easy for her??? It probably is not as easy for her as you think. Why do you think it is easy for her? She may make a point of displaying an "everything is great" persona when you see/talk to her, if you do. Or if you are hearing it from others, it may be what she wants to project. Divorce is difficult for everyone, I think, but some people are more mentally/emotionally prepared at the time of the spilt than others. I know I had been thinking of separating long before it happened, so that when it happened (at my spouse's request) it probably looked like it was so easy for me. In some ways it was, in other ways there is still the fact of the pain of not being able to make a marriage work, maybe some guilt, etc. Also, everyone recovers at their speed. If she wanted the divorce, obviously she was further along than you. Since the divorce is final, it is probably not doing you much good to dwell on how she feels. You need to be thinking about yourself, and any kids, more than anything. 2 Quote
Satu Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 So i was married 21 yrs.been seperated for over a yr.. Divorce final june of last yr.and yet this still sucks...why does it seem so f-n easy for her??? It doesn't matter how she feels. It matters how you feel. Make that your single point of focus. Quote
kenmore Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 It probably is not as easy for her as you think. Why do you think it is easy for her? She may make a point of displaying an "everything is great" persona when you see/talk to her, if you do. Or if you are hearing it from others, it may be what she wants to project. Divorce is difficult for everyone, I think, but some people are more mentally/emotionally prepared at the time of the spilt than others. This is true wisdom. Don't think she's OK, she's not. She wants you to think so, but it's bulls**t. It doesn't matter how she feels. It matters how you feel. Definitely!! Quote
Movingforward2 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Most of us on here know that feeling. It's brutal.....just keep doing your best. I've tried about everything to get moving...read books, googled, you name it.......and I still can't get it completely out of my head. There have been days I'm like "how to people get through this mess", because I'm doing everything I know to do - and it still lingers! Like so many others, just get busy doing something. Work out, find a hobby, you can't just sit in all day and think about it. 1 Quote
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