alexthegreat Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 My gf of five years has jealousy issues. Does anyone have any advice on how I can help her get over this? Some days are worse than others. My gf and I met at work. We were coworkers who would spend time together at work and conferences. She is beautiful and sweet. She knew I was unhappy in my marriage, and she was my shoulder to lean on while I was living with my wife. My wife and I separated, and that is when I began officially dating my gf. My gf wants me to divorce my wife, and I know I need too. Due to issues with finances, my wife's health, and the kids, the divorce has not happened yet. This plays in to the jealousy issues. Also, I have a flirty personality, and that plays in to the jealousy too. A few years ago, I slept with another coworker, but it did not mean anything. Then last year, I made with a coworker who is a friend. The gf never found out about these instances, nor will she ever. I care about these women as friends, but I love my gf. Any thoughts on how I can reassure my gf that she does not need to be jealous? Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 My gf of five years has jealousy issues...A few years ago, I slept with another coworker, but it did not mean anything... Then last year, I made with a coworker who is a friend She doesn't have jealousy issues, she has trust issues and rightfully so--your not trustworthy. There is nothing you can do. She may have forgiven you, but she will never forget. Don't externalize this onto her, this is the consequences of your actions. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Winterina Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Any thoughts on how I can reassure my gf that she does not need to be jealous? Yes. Let her be, you are just going to ruin her life. You are a player apparently, and not even aware of it. You lie, deceive, cheat and hide things and expect to be trusted. When I read something like this I always wonder how can people be so clueless. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Actually, your gf has bf issues. You're really surprised that not divorcing your wife for 5 yrs would make her feel insecure, or the fact that you're flirty and have cheated on her?? Really? You're really asking these questions? If your gf were posting here, everyone would tell her to run, not walk, away from you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 You can't be serious with this, OP. She can resolve "her jealousy issues" by finding a more trustworthy and honest boyfriend. I can't even with this post. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 My gf of five years has jealousy issues. Does anyone have any advice on how I can help her get over this? Some days are worse than others. The most helpful thing you could do for her, would be for you to move to Outer Mongolia without leaving a forwarding address. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 OP, your post is perfect! I suggest you look into NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Look over the symptoms. See if any of them sound familiar. But I'll give you credit---at least you came looking for help. I hope things work out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 My gf of five years has jealousy issues. Does anyone have any advice on how I can help her get over this? Some days are worse than others. My gf and I met at work. We were coworkers who would spend time together at work and conferences. She is beautiful and sweet. She knew I was unhappy in my marriage, and she was my shoulder to lean on while I was living with my wife. My wife and I separated, and that is when I began officially dating my gf. My gf wants me to divorce my wife, and I know I need too. Due to issues with finances, my wife's health, and the kids, the divorce has not happened yet. This plays in to the jealousy issues. Also, I have a flirty personality, and that plays in to the jealousy too. A few years ago, I slept with another coworker, but it did not mean anything. Then last year, I made with a coworker who is a friend. The gf never found out about these instances, nor will she ever. I care about these women as friends, but I love my gf. Any thoughts on how I can reassure my gf that she does not need to be jealous? You're still married, you slept with a coworker, you made out with another and you're too flirty for your own good. No. Not with all this extra curricular activity you're doing with other women. You can't reassure her as long as you act like you act. You first have to divorce your wife and then swear off crossing the line of intimacy with other women; but you don't seem very keen on leaving the extra women alone. Open up a can of "act right/do right" first. You may see your girlfriend settle down once your life and ways aren't so messy. If you can't do that, then you need to cut her loose so she can find a guy who doesn't have to be so extra. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 He's lost in the jungle with no moral compass. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I doubt this is real. No adult can be that obtuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexthegreat Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 I doubt this is real. No adult can be that obtuse. This is real. I felt it best to be completely honest. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 get divorced you told her you would divorce now you say not yet, and stop flirting Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 The best way to deal with her "jealousy" issues is probably by no longer cheating on your significant others such as your wife or girlfriend. If you'd stop that behavior, she would probably stop seeming so jealous. My last boyfriend picked a fight that led to our eventual break up accusing me of being too needy and jealous and I was convinced these things weren't true - within a week of things ending I found out he had been meeting women online for a good portion of our relationship. So maybe she isn't actually jealous, maybe you're feeling a little guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexthegreat Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 One of the coworkers got mad at me a few weeks ago. Last year, she found out I have a gf. When she got mad, she threatened to contact gf. I cannot let that happen. Women are crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Yes, crazy to give you the time of day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 One of the coworkers got mad at me a few weeks ago. Last year, she found out I have a gf. When she got mad, she threatened to contact gf. I cannot let that happen. Women are crazy. The level of cognitive dissonance in your posts is staggering. You are cheating on your wife, cheating on your girlfriend, lying to all, making excuses for your behavior and stringing two women along through this. The women in your life are not the crazy ones. If you want the drama to end, it starts with you. You are the common denominator. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexthegreat Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 I read all of the hard advice given. I decided to limit coworker contact to just office communication. One co-worker got mad at me for ignoring her. She emailed my girlfriend. I'm so mad at that co-worker. She had no business butting in my life and sending that email. She may have ruined my relationship with my girlfriend forever. I hope my girlfriend does not believe the email. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 (edited) I read all of the hard advice given. I decided to limit coworker contact to just office communication. One co-worker got mad at me for ignoring her. She emailed my girlfriend. I'm so mad at that co-worker. She had no business butting in my life and sending that email. She may have ruined my relationship with my girlfriend forever. I hope my girlfriend does not believe the email. Messy, messy boy. No. You did that all by yourself. If you'd stayed in your own lane, your girlfriend would not have been contacted. Right now, it doesn't matter if she doesn't believe it--the seed of doubt has been planted. All she needs to do now is think back on the times when you have been inconsistent. Your past behavior is all the fertilizer needed to grow that into a forest of acrimony. Edited January 18, 2015 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 This guy's got the game all wrong. Were there no other women to cheat with than coworkers? For reals, tho... never poop where you eat Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexthegreat Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 I think I dodged a bullet. I was on the computer and my gf had her email account opened (I have been staying with her). The email from my coworker was moved to spam, so I guess she never read the email since she did not know the sender. The coworker and I talked today. I love my gf and I'm falling for my coworker. I do not want to hurt either of them. I know I need to focus on my gf instead of coworker. I appreciate the advice. Maybe gf will stop being jealous and understand that I love her. Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I hope your gf finds out what type of person you are. And no she doesn't have jealousy issues, her boyfriend is no good and I'm sure on some level she knows it. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Either way my man you have serious problems, I mean here you have your girlfriend and then on top of that you are falling for your co-worker man and if all of you work in the same place then that makes things awkward in the workplace really awkward but at the same time you have to make a choice and if and when you do, it is a choice you are going to have to live with Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts