SJC2008 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Acting is an interesting one because the course I done felt like it was elementary - not quite up to a decent standard to join a society. I will check out amateur dramatics. I tried a photography club but the average age was quite old. I have also tried meditation classes but again it feels to me like talking to women there is hitting on them. I have only ever tried brief small talk there. Meeting extrovert people in my age range or younger is nearly impossible. I agree it would be a massive help. There is a saying that you are only as good as the four best people around you. I think there is some truth in it. But I guess the nature of things is that extroverts will already have friends so won't be looking for any. SJC2008, I don't want to get into the politics of it, but I agree a woman should not have to tell a guy how many partners she has had. I just find it strange that some women on this forum have argued that they should be able to hide their own history but should be entitled to know about the man's. I read a comment from a woman on another forum to the effect of "Women want men to be honest so they can reject them". That's how it feels to me. Sorry to be so negative but it is what it is. Having a divorce under your belt at 35 is more credible than having never been married at 35 in today's world. Is a woman who will accept us out there? Absolutely, but tread Carey and gain exp on your search. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 . I think there is some truth in it. But I guess the nature of things is that extroverts will already have friends so won't be looking for any. I don't think that is true. I am not saying you will be best buddies as soon as you show up, that is unrealistic but no-one can have too many friends really. As long as they are fun people you can learn from them and have some fun at the same time. Not everything is about having women to date, you need to start looking around you and stop putting yourself under pressure. Once you start relaxing and lose the "desperation" and let your real personality shine through, I am sure you will be far more attractive to women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ethan78 Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 I know what you are getting at Elaine, and I agree. But I don't think people choose to feel needy or lonely. It is difficult for me to switch off the desire to get to know women, or to be nervous about their judgement, but like I said I take your point. Thanks everyone for the comments. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Anyone who judges you for your lack of "relationship experience" are someone who would not have their priorities in order and likely wouldn't be the kind of person you would date anyway and if it turned out to be a marriage, it would be a loveless one. Link to post Share on other sites
glamtran Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Hi Ethan, great post and I hope you are feeling a little better about things. I am similar to you. I'm a woman but I'm 26 and I've only had two serious relationships in my past, and they were quite short term and honestly somedays I regret even entering into them in the first place. Also, you mentioned one woman you slept with was shocked at your lack of history. I can tell that made you self consious. If you are going to have a one nighter, you don't have to mention past relationships, that's not necessary and let's be honest that's not what you are there to do in that moment. Life stories usually aren't important when you will likely never see this person again. And from my point of view as a woman in her twenties, I would not see anything wrong with a man your age with no relationship experience. In fact, it could be a huge advantage cause that would mean no relationship baggage, no crazy ex'es chasing down your new woman, and these are honestly all turn offs for me. Perhaps a bit extreme but I hope you get my drift. And perhaps you just haven't met the right person, that's all people need to know really. It's better than being your age and divorced and being all jaded and screwed up over it. There are lots of guys out there that fit this description and it gets old, fast. I hope this helps along with the other great points you've already received. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ethan78 Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Hi Glam, thanks for the comments. I hope you find a better relationship than you had. I found failed dates or experiences can be difficult. I've been rejected after a second date too. As it happens the lady who told me she could not believe it probably made me feel better rather than worse, but then you never know how someone else sees you. Link to post Share on other sites
glamtran Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Well if it made you feel better than I guess that's ok. But still I think people might put too much emphasis on it and it doesn't need to be brought up with every interaction we have. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts