Is it cheating if you go to a strip club while in a relationship with someone?

[Ashley S]

I feel really bad I have these two new friends that are 19 years old. They didn't tell me though that they both have girlfriends. I kept wanting to go to the strip club because I am just different and weird lol, and they said they never been to one, so I was like "Aww.. let me be the first one to take you to a strip club!" Haha. So, we go there, have a good time, but then they tell me they had girlfriends. I feel really bad. I don't know if it's considered wrong or not to go to a strip club when you are in a relationship? Is it considered cheating if you do that? I think of it as looking at porn, but I might be wrong. I just feel really guilty! I hope it's not considered cheating! Because even though I didn't know they had girlfriends, I still contributed and I feel bad for that.

 

What do you think? Thank you.

[Satu]

I wouldn't think of it as cheating, but I would think of it as being immature and tasteless.

[Chi townD]

Nah, I don't think so. Think about it, if they are going to marry these girls, chances are you're going to have a bachelor Party and she's going to have a Bachelorette party and there's a big chance that there's going to be strippers at both of them. Is a bachelor or bachelorette party cheating?

 

 

When you go to the strip club, these girls don't want you, they want your money. You can't touch these girls because if you do, you're out on your ear from the bouncers.

[WonderWoman911]

No, I wouldn't consider that cheating.

[Zahara]

It doesn't matter whether everyone on LS thinks it's cheating or not. That all depends on what the boundaries are within their own relationships. If their girlfriends think it's cheating then it's an issue within their relationships. What you think and we think makes no difference.

 

I would think these women would probably have more of an issue as to why their boyfriends are taking other women (you) to strip clubs versus the issue of going to a strip club. Regardless if it was just as "friends" I don't think their girlfriends would appreciate it.

Edited January 11, 2015 by Zahara

[Chi townD]

It doesn't matter whether everyone on LS thinks it's cheating or not. That all depends on what the boundaries are within their own relationships. If their girlfriends think it's cheating then it's an issue within their relationships. What you think and we think makes no difference.

 

I would think these women would probably have more of an issue as to why their boyfriends are taking other women (you) to strip clubs versus the issue of going to a strip club. Regardless if it was just as "friends" I don't think their girlfriends would appreciate it.

 

 

But, isn't that now, YOU weighting in your opinion?

[amaysngrace]

It's not cheating the same way that you going there doesn't make you a lezbee unless you all were making out and having sex with the dancers.

[Michelle ma Belle]

It doesn't matter whether everyone on LS thinks it's cheating or not. That all depends on what the boundaries are within their own relationships. If their girlfriends think it's cheating then it's an issue within their relationships. What you think and we think makes no difference.

 

I would think these women would probably have more of an issue as to why their boyfriends are taking other women (you) to strip clubs versus the issue of going to a strip club. Regardless if it was just as "friends" I don't think their girlfriends would appreciate it.

 

I'm going to have to agree with Zahara on both points outlined.

 

The only thing I might add is that if you can't tell your partner what you're doing especially if it involves sex and/or the opposite sex then there is a strong possibility they already feel like they are doing something wrong.

 

And if you feel like you're doing something wrong, then why do it at all in the first place?

 

Red flag.

[Zahara]

But, isn't that now, YOU weighting in your opinion?

 

No, I was weighing in from the get go.

 

It's my opinion that what LS says doesn't matter because "cheating" in this situation is defined between the two people in the relationship.

 

But it is also my opinion that if it's considered cheating within the relationship, then it would most likely not sit well for the one that may feel slighted in the relationship.

 

I'm not sure your need to nit pick when the advice was constructive for the OP.

Edited January 12, 2015 by Zahara

[Ashley S]

Nah, I don't think so. Think about it, if they are going to marry these girls, chances are you're going to have a bachelor Party and she's going to have a Bachelorette party and there's a big chance that there's going to be strippers at both of them. Is a bachelor or bachelorette party cheating?

 

 

When you go to the strip club, these girls don't want you, they want your money. You can't touch these girls because if you do, you're out on your ear from the bouncers.

 

That's a good point! And yeah they are very strict. I was worried that they would get too excited and try to touch the strippers so I had to warn them before hand lol. The one stripper had her head almost on my one friend, and he touched her hair, and the bouncer flew over and almost kicked him out because he lightly touched her hair when her head was almost near him. It is very strict. Thanks for your input!

[Ashley S]

It doesn't matter whether everyone on LS thinks it's cheating or not. That all depends on what the boundaries are within their own relationships. If their girlfriends think it's cheating then it's an issue within their relationships. What you think and we think makes no difference.

 

I would think these women would probably have more of an issue as to why their boyfriends are taking other women (you) to strip clubs versus the issue of going to a strip club. Regardless if it was just as "friends" I don't think their girlfriends would appreciate it.

 

What happened was I went to a house party, and my two friends were there. I have only known them for about 3 weeks now, so I don't really know much about their lives. We were talking at the party and they were there without their girlfriends. I didn't know they had girlfriends. We started talking about strip clubs, and so I said "Hey you guys want to go to this strip club that's like 10 minutes away? I never been there, we should go there." They agreed to it, and they were excited because they have never been to a strip club before lol, so afterwards my one guy friend said "I feel like I cheated!" I said "What?" My other guy friend said "Yeah me too. I think I just cheated on my girlfriend." I said "You both have girlfriends???" They both said "Yeah" I said "If I would've known that I wouldn't have taken you guys here." And obviously they didn't tell their girlfriends, and they didn't have a response to that. Like I said I am friends with everyone. I wasn't trying to do anything with them, I am just bubbly and different, and I thought since we were talking about strip clubs that it would be fun to go to one.

[Ashley S]

I'm going to have to agree with Zahara on both points outlined.

 

The only thing I might add is that if you can't tell your partner what you're doing especially if it involves sex and/or the opposite sex then there is a strong possibility they already feel like they are doing something wrong.

 

And if you feel like you're doing something wrong, then why do it at all in the first place?

 

Red flag.

 

I didn't feel like it was wrong at first because I thought they were single. They told me afterwards that they had girlfriends and they felt like they cheated. I even said to them "If I would've known you guys had girlfriends I wouldn't have taken you here." Because it does vary. Personally I think it's nothing, and I would take it as it's like watching porn to them, but some girls view it as cheating, and I don't know how their girlfriends would feel about that. But yeah they failed to tell me that, and I do feel really guilty even though I didn't know, but I still feel bad

[shet]

Some women consider it cheating, some men do too. I've been on stag do's that have turned sour over members of the party refusing to enter a stripclub. What their shackled lives with their domineering partners must be like I don't speculate.

[Andy_K]

Not 'cheating' as such, but it may or may not be crossing a boundary too far in their relationship, this depends on the dynamic of their relationship.

 

Personally I'm more likely to date a girl who'd be more likely to be upset that I didn't invite her along rather than that I went in the first place, but a lot of girls will very much not be okay with it. Their guilt in this case speaks volumes about whether that is likely to be the case.

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't consider it cheating, but I wouldn't be happy if I discovered my boyfriend went to see strippers with some girl I've never met. However, that's not on you. It's the guys' problem to deal with now. Not much point dwelling on guilt.

[Zahara]

What happened was I went to a house party, and my two friends were there. I have only known them for about 3 weeks now, so I don't really know much about their lives. We were talking at the party and they were there without their girlfriends. I didn't know they had girlfriends. We started talking about strip clubs, and so I said "Hey you guys want to go to this strip club that's like 10 minutes away? I never been there, we should go there." They agreed to it, and they were excited because they have never been to a strip club before lol, so afterwards my one guy friend said "I feel like I cheated!" I said "What?" My other guy friend said "Yeah me too. I think I just cheated on my girlfriend." I said "You both have girlfriends???" They both said "Yeah" I said "If I would've known that I wouldn't have taken you guys here." And obviously they didn't tell their girlfriends, and they didn't have a response to that. Like I said I am friends with everyone. I wasn't trying to do anything with them, I am just bubbly and different, and I thought since we were talking about strip clubs that it would be fun to go to one.

 

You shouldn't feel bad. It was their decision to go and they should know what the boundaries are in their own relationship. I'm sure they knew what a strip club entailed so for them to feel guilty of "cheating" after the fact is on them.

[kendahke]

I feel really bad I have these two new friends that are 19 years old. They didn't tell me though that they both have girlfriends. I kept wanting to go to the strip club because I am just different and weird lol, and they said they never been to one, so I was like "Aww.. let me be the first one to take you to a strip club!" Haha. So, we go there, have a good time, but then they tell me they had girlfriends. I feel really bad. I don't know if it's considered wrong or not to go to a strip club when you are in a relationship? Is it considered cheating if you do that? I think of it as looking at porn, but I might be wrong. I just feel really guilty! I hope it's not considered cheating! Because even though I didn't know they had girlfriends, I still contributed and I feel bad for that.

 

What do you think? Thank you.

 

I don't think it is, but many, many women do.

 

If they told their girlfriends what they did, I think that your'e going to find your friends are not going to be allowed to go with you anywhere anymore.

[Ashley S]

You shouldn't feel bad. It was their decision to go and they should know what the boundaries are in their own relationship. I'm sure they knew what a strip club entailed so for them to feel guilty of "cheating" after the fact is on them.

 

 

Yeah! That's a good point. I am just always feeling bad lol. I always feel like I did something wrong, and I guess I just feel bad because I was the one that suggested it, and I feel bad for their girlfriends and what they think, but they probably don't even know because if they didn't tell me they had girlfriends before the strip club, then they probably didn't tell their girlfriends that they went to a strip club. Little aholes lol. Thank you!

[Ashley S]

I don't think it is, but many, many women do.

 

If they told their girlfriends what they did, I think that your'e going to find your friends are not going to be allowed to go with you anywhere anymore.

 

Yeah because they would probably make it out like I am some whore that didn't care that they had girlfriends, and forced them to go to the strip club. They would try anything in their power to cover their ass, so I probably will be looked down on. Let's hope though they told their girlfriends the honest truth. I highly doubt it though. Thanks!

[kendahke]

Yeah because they would probably make it out like I am some whore that didn't care that they had girlfriends, and forced them to go to the strip club.

 

Yep. Pretty much.

[Lion Heart]

If someone offered me an illegal substance, I'd say NO THANKS. (Yeah then I'd probably call the cops as my work outlines a definite moral standing and obligation on such things).

 

If I took it, I'd be woman enough to take responsibility for my own behaviour... and the consequences.

 

These guys have relationships, sure. They have mouths and could've said no thanks we've got girlfriends. They didn't. Their problem.. their consequences.

 

Yes it doesn't matter what LS members say but you've asked for opinions so you'll get some.

 

I try to gauge behaviour and boundaries when in a relationship by asking "would my husband be comfortable watching me right now? " I don't engage in activities like strip clubs and I'd expect my husband to invite me to go with him at the very least. Not attend then tell me after the fact.

 

In my OPINION as it seems in yours, single people are free to do whatever they please. When in relationships, nice partners don't need to ask for permission but after the event if there's a break up, well those are the consequences for the behaviour.

 

We all have differing moral standards. I'm no puritan. But I've certainly got standards!