Self love

[Bishop556]

Ever since being bullied in school, for no reason other than existing, I have felt worthless about myself. I feel into drugs, specifically opiates, and lived day to day with no self-love for my accomplishments, talents, and other traits to be proud of. While I still am fighting my demons I feel I have come a long way to truly beginning to love myself.

 

Now, I don't want to sound preachy by any means. I just hope that everyone can find inner love for themselves. It seems in this world that everyone is attempting with everything they have to be someone else while those that have ever contributed were never someone else, they were themselves. If you could post three things (or more if you like) of what you are proud about yourself that would be lovely. I'll start.

 

1) I am very intelligent, even though I usually do not acknowledge it much. I find physics, math, and music easy to digest and understand, so much so that I have a 3.92 gpa in college so far.

 

2) I am sensitive and care deeply about others. It has led to situations detrimental to myself, but I do not consider it a fault.

 

3) I am incredibly passionate about things that interest me: music, philosophy, physics, math, art, women (I had to add this), etc. My passions give my life meaning and I would not be who I am without them.

[evanescentworld]

You post those attributes about yourself, but they're not 'You'.

 

I am very intelligent, even though I usually do not acknowledge it much. I find physics, math, and music easy to digest and understand, so much so that I have a 3.92 gpa in college so far.

 

2) I am sensitive and care deeply about others. It has led to situations detrimental to myself, but I do not consider it a fault.

 

3) I am incredibly passionate about things that interest me: music, philosophy, physics, math, art, women (I had to add this), etc. My passions give my life meaning and I would not be who I am without them.

 

These are things you have acquired, they're not about the essence of WHO you are.

 

You can't see 'sensitive and caring'.

 

Can you look in a mirror, and behold your own reflection, and look deeply into your eyes and tell yourself how much you really love you?

 

Can you see your soul reflected back, and your features, your physique, your body and facial features, and love what you see?

[Bishop556]

You post those attributes about yourself, but they're not 'You'.

 

 

 

These are things you have acquired, they're not about the essence of WHO you are.

 

You can't see 'sensitive and caring'.

 

Can you look in a mirror, and behold your own reflection, and look deeply into your eyes and tell yourself how much you really love you?

 

Can you see your soul reflected back, and your features, your physique, your body and facial features, and love what you see?

 

It is difficult and an ongoing process. I was bullied to the point of suicide as a child and later went into the lovely drug culture and survived miraculously while most of the people I associated with are currently locked up or doing nothing with their lives. I have experienced a lot of hatred for myself and depression my entire life. I cannot say that I am at that stage, but I'm trying to begin that process. It's ongoing, but you need to begin somewhere along the road.

Edited January 11, 2015 by Bishop556

[evanescentworld]

I understand that, but as I said, the traits you mention are admirable. But they're not unique.

 

You have to seek inside yourself to expose the uniqueness of who you are.

 

Think about that, for an instant.

 

Look in the mirror and know this:

 

With the billions of people on this planet, there is absolutely no other single individual that is anything as remotely unique as you are.

 

you are one of a kind.

The perfect example.

You have this one chance to show what you are made of.

 

Every day you falter, is one day less you have, to succeed.

 

so every day, demonstrate WHO you really are.

 

you know the best way of doing that?

 

By reaching out to others.

 

you were brought to the brink of suicide by your experiences, yet - look - here you are.

You survived.

 

Maybe you could investigate joining a support group for those who were bullied.

You would be such a bonus - a bullying survivor, someone who can truly equate.

The good you could do, is incalculable.

 

Do one single random act of unsolicited kindness, per day.

 

I once went to a florist and bought 6 individual bunches of daffodils.

Pretty, but inexpensive.

I had the florist wrap them separately.

 

Then I went out, and over a period of less than 15 minutes, I gave them away to totally random strangers.

The looks of amazement and delight was just wonderful.

 

be who you were born to be.

Unique, irreplaceable, and wonderful.

[Bishop556]

Thank you for those words. I really do appreciate that. Honestly, I needed to hear something like that. I have felt that I have always needed to hold the weight of my own struggles and those of others that I care about. It has made life difficult and made me weary. It seems that there is always one more struggle that I need to deal with. I just needed an affirmation that I am worthy and motivation to believe it myself. Thank you.

[evanescentworld]

It's a pleasure.

 

If you DO consider working with a support group, remember two things:

 

One - you are there to listen, not to solve.

(men are great problem-solvers, but that's very often not what's needed in such groups).

Be there to lend a sympathetic ear, but don't feel that everyone who speaks to you, needs your help to remedy their situation.

 

Two - Do NOT take their problems 'home' with you.

Learn that while you need to be there for them, you don't need to take on their problems and carry them on your own.

That's not what support is about.

Support isn't about being someone's crutch.

Support is about being someone's companion.

 

It's an incredibly rewarding thing to do, but remember that, just as you would be there for others, the people you might work with, will be there for you.

 

You may lend support on a voluntary basis, but others involved will be trained, qualified counsellors.

Trust them to have your back.

 

 

Remember: You matter, and you DO make a difference.

And when you SEE the difference you make, you will see, just how incredible a being you really are.

[Bishop556]

It's a pleasure.

 

If you DO consider working with a support group, remember two things:

 

One - you are there to listen, not to solve.

(men are great problem-solvers, but that's very often not what's needed in such groups).

Be there to lend a sympathetic ear, but don't feel that everyone who speaks to you, needs your help to remedy their situation.

 

Two - Do NOT take their problems 'home' with you.

Learn that while you need to be there for them, you don't need to take on their problems and carry them on your own.

That's not what support is about.

Support isn't about being someone's crutch.

Support is about being someone's companion.

 

It's an incredibly rewarding thing to do, but remember that, just as you would be there for others, the people you might work with, will be there for you.

 

You may lend support on a voluntary basis, but others involved will be trained, qualified counsellors.

Trust them to have your back.

 

 

Remember: You matter, and you DO make a difference.

And when you SEE the difference you make, you will see, just how incredible a being you really are.

 

 

Once again, thank you. You're honestly incredibly kind.

[evanescentworld]

Once again, thank you. You're honestly incredibly kind.

 

No, I can be a bitch, sometimes.

But see, I'm working on that - !

 

I sincerely hope you do some research into support groups.

I'm sure there are many you could work with, even on a part-time basis.

Many are crying out for people to help, and when you've "been there, done that" your input is invaluable.

 

It may well take you time to realise your potential - hell, things never happen overnight - but each day, you could do a 'little' something, which in the evening, makes you think "Well, I put a smile on THEIR face and changed their day!"

[endlessabyss]

The self love thing is a big challenge, especially when society sets standards that are impossible to meet.

 

 

I'm still working on letting go.

 

 

Glad to hear you're improving. Good luck the rest of the way.

[SpiralOut]

When I first realized that I had self-hatred, I dealt with it by wearing a necklace of rose quartz every day. I must have worn that for a year. I still put it on when I'm having a bad day. It might sound silly, but it's supposed to be a healing stone that heals the heart, helping people to love themselves and others.

 

 

I also found it helpful to try different arts and crafts projects. I think that's because creativity is an expression of self; being creative can help us to reach down and find the bits and pieces that may not otherwise come out. Finding those pieces and accepting them is part of the self-love process. I'm still going through the process; it can be scary sometimes, to confront things that I don't want to think about, but it's so worth it.

 

 

It's good that you can feel proud of your positive traits. That's part of the process too. Good luck with the rest of your journey.