Darkness L Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 This is my first time being here, I want to share my story hoping someone will help me make the right decision. I met this man two years ago, we were friends for couple months till I start to have feelings for him... However, he was not treating me well but I endured a lot during that time... After few months I asked him if we are together exclusively or is there any future out of this relationship, I am expecting from you to do more than this. Well, he start to change and show some interest and we end up being together. One week ago, we had an argument about stupid things and I told him I need a break till you get your thoughts together. The next day in the morning he texted me and said " I want to be honest and tell you that I slept with this Hispanic woman last night, I could not help it because I was horny !!!" I can not stop crying or get over this !! I feel like I did not mean anything to this man after all. Why would he hurt me that bad and he knew how much I love him !! what should I do ??? I do not feel like talking to him ever again in my life. What is the right thing to do !!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 The guy is an ass/hole and you deserve better. He is playing games with you. Maybe he did sleep with someone else, or he just told you he did to hurt. Either way, grown up and mature people don't do this to one another. Stay away from him, be glad now you know who he is and what he's capable of. Sorry you're hurting. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 What an idiot this guy is. The only response he deserves is: "Hispanic is fun. I totally agree. Perhaps my date tonight will bed the way yours did. Except in my case, I won'not be the girl who slept with the total loser." Block him on everything and don't look back. Lose the two years. I have been married for almost nine years and should have walked away at 4 years. Don't put ten potentially good years into two semi good years that blew up so badly. His only intent there was to knock you off-balance and make you feel hurt and insecure so that you pull close to him because you fear not healing and losing him so suddenly. He will ALWAYS yank that chain. That's who he is and what he does. Prick. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 You are right, you don't mean anything to him. Dump him and fix your self-esteem, he's not worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Bugzee Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 It seems like you had to do all the hard work from the start, i know you dont want to hear it but you have to move on easier said than done i know but i fyou dont then it will only keep happening and you will go through a lot more pain. Try and understand that he was not the right person for you time will heal just please try and keep yourself busy. x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Brookie16 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 This is my first time being here, I want to share my story hoping someone will help me make the right decision. I met this man two years ago, we were friends for couple months till I start to have feelings for him... However, he was not treating me well but I endured a lot during that time... After few months I asked him if we are together exclusively or is there any future out of this relationship, I am expecting from you to do more than this. Well, he start to change and show some interest and we end up being together. One week ago, we had an argument about stupid things and I told him I need a break till you get your thoughts together. The next day in the morning he texted me and said " I want to be honest and tell you that I slept with this Hispanic woman last night, I could not help it because I was horny !!!" I can not stop crying or get over this !! I feel like I did not mean anything to this man after all. Why would he hurt me that bad and he knew how much I love him !! what should I do ??? I do not feel like talking to him ever again in my life. What is the right thing to do !!!!! What ever feels right to you, he doesn't sound worth it to me, you could do better, you wanted a break form him to work on the relationship . And he did the exact opposite and betrayed you, doesn't seem like he cares about you if he cheated on just like that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darkness L Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 Thank you every one I really needed to hear this. I am trying to do better each day.... just battling through the pain. It took all this time for me to know I was not good enough for him and he was not the one for me. It was very hard to accept it but I will be okay as long as I do not hear from him. He told my friend that he does not want to give me no satisfaction or information to be at peace after what he said... So I need to be a woman and deal with my decisions ((( Sounds like he wanted to blame me for this))) I can not believe I gave my heart and my time to someone has so much negativity and insecurity inside of him. I am better of a person to be in touch with such human being. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 It took all this time for me to know I was not good enough for him Ohmydeargod - you SO need to get this mindset out of your head!!! After a fight he goes off and f*cks another chick and YOU are not good enough for HIM!?!?!? Try the other way around! I will be okay as long as I do not hear from him. Block him at every corner: Phone, Facebook, Tinder, Instagram... Whatever it takes. He told my friend that he does not want to give me no satisfaction or information to be at peace after what he said... So I need to be a woman and deal with my decisions ((( Sounds like he wanted to blame me for this))) He is trying to alleviate his guilt. Don't listen to your friends who are in contact with him. Just advise them that you don't need to hear anything about him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You are WAY TOO GOOD FOR HIM! YOU didn't do a lowlife thing like he did. Crikeys girlfriend I couldn't believe you said that .... then I remembered that that's EXACTLY how he's made you feel. It's cruel and wrong. YOU have been putting your energy into a waste of space. He's a total user. You're a total winner! Thank God he showed his true colours BEFORE any wedding bells and children. You've got an escape opportunity RIGHT NOW. Do you want the father of your children to treat YOU and THEM this way? He won't because you are gonna pick yourself up. Shake off ANY crap he's ever said to you. And do everything it takes to prepare YOU for your incredible future. He won't be the father of your children. He doesn't deserve you or them. he's not good enough for you. Be kind & assertive with your friends. Have the talk with them that includes: if you see or talk with dirtbag, I don't want to know. I'm free of him. Protect and respect me and my future by not mentioning anything. Good luck you can do this 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darkness L Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 I am doing exactly what everyone is suggesting, I know women sometimes are blinded by love and emotions which prevent them from thinking rational. But this time I want to be firm with myself and truly move on, I have no choice anyway. He is calling me now, I blocked him but he still calls from unknown numbers. I want to change my number but I do not want to take it to that extreme because he is not worth all that work. I cried a lot when he was calling because part of me hates him very much for what he did even though I never knew what hate is, and part of me is questioning why would he want to hurt me that much. I guess there is no need to think about it anymore but I have to go through the healing process. He texted also saying he had to tell me something to force me move on from him... I only wish if there is one valid reason for him to do what he did... to me it was a crime. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 it was uunnecessary and abusive. his whole pattern of behaviour during this is just designed to hurt you and make excuses for it. the fact that he is calling you adamantly now show this. run away quick. I am so sorry for your pain. sorry for the way he is treating you must be so stressful. I am doing exactly what everyone is suggesting, I know women sometimes are blinded by love and emotions which prevent them from thinking rational. But this time I want to be firm with myself and truly move on, I have no choice anyway. He is calling me now, I blocked him but he still calls from unknown numbers. I want to change my number but I do not want to take it to that extreme because he is not worth all that work. I cried a lot when he was calling because part of me hates him very much for what he did even though I never knew what hate is, and part of me is questioning why would he want to hurt me that much. I guess there is no need to think about it anymore but I have to go through the healing process. He texted also saying he had to tell me something to force me move on from him... I only wish if there is one valid reason for him to do what he did... to me it was a crime. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darkness L Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 You were very right dreamingoftigers. He showed up at my doorstep stating that he did not have sex with anyone and he wanted to force me to leave but he regret it because he felt that he caused a damage to our relationship ..... I let him talk and say whatever he wants but then I said " I just don't trust you anymore no matter how I feel about you" He said " I want you to be a full woman and stop being too immature" I did not want to reply to that and said please do not come back here. I had a huge relief outta this, I feel better but a bit bitter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 You were very right dreamingoftigers. He showed up at my doorstep stating that he did not have sex with anyone and he wanted to force me to leave but he regret it because he felt that he caused a damage to our relationship ..... I let him talk and say whatever he wants but then I said " I just don't trust you anymore no matter how I feel about you" He said " I want you to be a full woman and stop being too immature" I did not want to reply to that and said please do not come back here. I had a huge relief outta this, I feel better but a bit bitter. That is not going to be the last time you'll hear from him, so you need to really prepare yourself for what you're going to do when he pops back up. Your huge relief can easily turn into weakness for him when he knows the right thing to do/say to get you to come around, so get it clear in your head what you're going to say and do when that day rolls around. You're not out of the woods just yet. This was just the first salvo launched. Plenty more are to follow and it will be up to you to stand sentry to your boundaries, not him. His goal is to breach the walls and get you lulled back into the stupor so he can go back to doing what he was doing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lovesickgirl Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Read this article, you won't regret it. I just went through the same thing recently myself after two years together. It will get better! The Three Phases of A Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Over-Evaluation, Devaluation, Discard - Esteemology 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 It took all this time for me to know he was not good enough for me and he was not the one for me. Fixed that sentence for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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