Bachelor party anxiety

[sharkbite0]

So, I'm doing a great job and haven't drank in a while. I feel great about this, however, my best friend is getting married in march and the bachelor party is at the end of February, we are supposed to go away for a weekend and go snowboarding. It won't just be snowboarding though, there will be loads of alcohol. I don't know how to go about this, whether I should continue to go without alcohol and then when the bachelor party weekend comes just enjoy the weekend and return to normal when we return? or do I ignore it all and continue not drinking? if i chose this, I will have to spend the entire weekend getting hastled for not drinking and probably piss off a lot of people. I am at a crossroad, and part of me is starting to think of making up a lie to just not go but I know I will hate myself afterwards. I am in the wedding party as a groomsman so I'm pretty much obligated to go to this.

 

any ideas people? thank you all and good luck!

[WonderWoman911]

Good job on your ability to stay away from alcohol. As far as what to do for the bachelor party, I would still go. Have a good time with the snowboarding. But when the snowboarding is over and everyone starts bringing out the liquor, I would leave. Wherever they're drinking, you can not show up or just stay for a few minutes, just to show face. This is up to your discretion. But on the flipside, if they're your real buddies they would understand and not try to pressure you into drinking, party or not. And everyone is adults not kids. Don't worry about making people upset because you choose to not drink. That's their problem, not yours. Nonetheless, you're the groomsman, and this is your best friend. I'm sure it would hurt your best friend tremendously if you didn't attend the event/wedding because of alcohol.

[sharkbite0]

Thank you wonder woman!! always looking out for me!

[aggie382]

Are you actually in recovery, an alcoholic? If so, you shouldn't drink there. If you're just trying to cut back and make better choices, I don't see the harm in a fun weekend.

[WonderWoman911]

Thank you wonder woman!! always looking out for me!

 

 

 

 

You're sooo welcome!!!!:bunny:Anytime.

[d0nnivain]

Are you in AA? Do you have a sponsor? Have you spoken to that person about this? They are probably the best person to discuss this with.

 

 

If you are newly sober & you honestly think that anybody on this snowboarding trip will say anything to you other than "good job on getting & staying sober" don't go. The last thing you need is that kind of negative pressure.

 

Going & drinking will be more than 2 steps back. Don't risk it.

[sharkbite0]

I'd say I have had more bad things come from alcohol than good, my mother and grandmother always used to say "don't do drugs or alcohol sharkbite0 ...they're not for you" well, I have to learn lessons the hard way it seems because I was the experimenter of my group and couldn't get enough after I had some.

 

I cut out all the hard stuff first, then the pot slowly started to diminish, now the alcohol is the last thing to take care of. Sometimes my mind gets me to believe that I can handle a few drinks and I haven't done anything dumb for the last few years of drinking, and I've never been arrested for anything. I just see it as something that tends to make me feel amazing for a few hours and then the next day I become a bum, I have no motivation to do anything, it has cost me a lot of money (just paying for what I drink) . My life isn't on the path I want it to be on (it's slowly but surely getting there now that I'm taking the steps)

 

So I'll admit that I do have my problems, I just can't tell if it's me trying to rationalize drinking from time to time when the occasion calls for it. (which I really believe I can do) or am I just fooling myself into thinking that and then It will all start over again?

[d0nnivain]

AA calls you a dry drunk. You may have stopped the substances but you may not have addressed why you got in that situation in the 1st place. I don't know if I buy into that but it does have a name.

 

I cut way back on my own drinking & never drink if I have to drive anymore. At 1st it was hard because everybody around me was having a good time but I couldn't partake. I learned the hard way I can't have 1 drink because the 1st thing I lose is the ability to say no thanks I don't want a 2nd drink. I think the 1st time I went out after I resolved not to drink & drive, I got a few raised eyebrows & some folks said things like Are you sure? One won't hurt etc but I was firm. No everybody just gets me a bottle of water or whatever else I'm drinking & is happy to know they have a sober ride home if they need one.

 

Still if these other party goers are going to encourage you to go back to your old ways & you are not strong enough to resist, maybe you are better off staying away.

[jellybean89]

No don't go with the intention of drinking "just this last time".

 

I would tell the groom and the others that you want to go and enjoy, but you need their support and do NOT need the encouraging you to drink. You can tell them you are fine with them drinking but you would really appreciate them to respect your decision to NOT drink and if they can't support that, then you cannot attend. And mean it.

 

You have to rid your life of bad influences and people who do not support your recovery.

 

I personally hope you do not go -- you don't need the temptation and really, its a weekend of drinking and being hung over....its not like you aren't going to the wedding.

[Deidre]

When it comes to healing and recovery of any time, sometimes you have to just steer clear of what might cause you to relapse. While the weekend would be really fun, it will be hard (not impossible) to avoid drinking/getting drunk. I hope whatever you choose, that you stay strong!