Yksik Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 So I met a guy last year, in spring. I had just broken up (a month) with my bf and was starting to get over him. When we met I really felt the butterflies and wasn't thinking of my ex not AT ALL. We clicked instantly on a college camping event and were drunkenly kissing all night. Next day he asked me to come with his friends to his cottage, we spent good time there and we were cuddling etc. We became friends and spent more time together. After 3 weeks, my ex came back to me and I STUPIDLY took him back. I told him that. So we slowly drifted appart with him. Now after 6 months my ex and I have broken up again. For a month I didn't contact him(the fling from the summer) or didn't have the idea to, because it would have been like a "replacement" or just cruel. Then out of the blue he liked and commented 2 of my pictures on social media in new years eve. I saw it and drunkenly called him. We met in the city and had a really great time! We talked about everything BUT relationships and "us". We held each others hands and walked through the city. I think he could have guessed that I am not together with my ex anymore, but we didn't talk about it... So now after new years eve to this day we have been talking in chat every day. And we chat about nothing, really, just every day stuff. I would really like to ask him out ... but maybe it is too early and I should just wait and see... red flags * I have kind of betraied him once, when I went back to my ex. * He hasn't had a girlfriend, ever, because - he hasn't felt like that to a girl (or he has and the girl didn't feel back - he is 25- Is this a red flag or I'm thinking too much). * I think he could find better than me, I feel he is kind of out of my league and I think that's why I went back to my "safe" ex in the summer. * He seems a bit shy when we were spending time one on one !? When we were together, he felt insecure and only initiated stuff when he had been drinking. Or is it shyness? He doesn't feel like he should be shy. He isn't shy when we were with his or my friends. We always were holding hands or cuddling etc (but that was usually when we were drinking too). * I felt that I initiated most of the stuff we did in the summer - he was never cold and agreed happily to the plans I made , it was like I suggested 10 things when He suggested 3. Or for exmple, he started to talk about "good films in the movie right now" and what he would like to watch etc - and then I had to suggest that, why don't we go then ? and he happily agreed. So I don't know. Maybe he has another woman - yet he walked hand in hand with me in the capital city at new years eve. Maybe I should ask him out. Maybe I should totally wait. He initiated the chat with me and if I don't answer he would add some question to continue the chat. So alot of mixed signals. I can't really tell if he is a player but that doesn't explain the reasons he was shy when one on one. Maybe I'm the player because it is too soon from my bu... Any advice for his behaviour ? Or mine ? Anything is good, I feel kind of trapped. Link to post Share on other sites
Jswscents Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You are definately thinking too much, complicating things. Go with your heart. Of course you deserve a second chance. No one is perfect. Get rid of the negative attitude and tell yourself you deserve the best and go for it. Be the planner, be the aggressor and be with the one that makes you happy. My mom use to tell me " never love a man more than he loves you, because you know your a good person and you will do good for him". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yksik Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 Thank you for your reply Jswscents! Just the words I needed Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yksik Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 It didn't work out. I found out that he had a girlfriend already in new years eve They are still together - that's why he didn't want to meet up (he didn't tell me why, but i think it's that). But it's okay.. I'm glad he's happy and that it worked out this way. We were'nt very compatible anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Aww I'm sorry to hear that Link to post Share on other sites
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