nelco Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 my best friend is 23....we have been best friends for 4 yrs....he knows i am a hermaphrodite(both genders) even though i was raised male and am more female. Two days after we met he told me he told his parents all about me and they had no problem with me, a few days later he took me to lunch to meet his mom and drove me around town to see the houses he grew up in. he was also my personal trainer. Two years ago he started to date this girl and has brought her around me only 4 times and when he has he ignores me. One time i ran into them at the gym and the ver next day he called wanting to spend the afternoon with him. A year n a half ago his parents bought a restaurant and he wanted me there opening night for dinner and the next week the first day they were opened for lunch. He has wanted me there 2-3 times a week for lunch ever since then. Christmas 2003 he gave me a nice new $50 shirt and made me a surprise salmon dinner. He knows i am going to get breast implants done(he is a chest guy) he says I will look AWESOME when done and he says to do my lower surgery LATER ON...which tells me he might say dont do it at all. A year ago i told his brother that i thought he had more than friend feelings for me and told him why etc etc...his brother told him and he got mad at me at one point he said i was still his friend but i needed to TONE IT DOWN. For the last year he has continued to want me in for lunch every week, flirts with me, but he has called me only one time in the last year and does nothing with me outside the restaurant (he works 50-60 hours a week). This year he did nothing for me for christmas even though he kept saying he forgot my christmas gift at home. This year I was at the restaurant to watch the super bowl and he was not there but his brother and his brothers girlfriend were. Her n I get along GREAT!!! We were talking about my friend and I and after I left his brother came around wanting to know everything I said etc etc. She didnt want to tell him but he made her. He got mad and told her he was going to tell his brother everything which he did...Two days later I was at the restaurant, lunch was fine, but at the end my friend got mad and told me that I told his brother that he was gay. I NEVER said this but he wouldn't believe. I left and called him from my cell phone and apologized for whatever I did. He said that I had WORN OUT my welcome and hung up. I let about 3 weeks by and called him. I said did you mean that when you said I worn out my welcome? He said well you have to stop talking behind my back and you cant be talking to my brother and his girlfriend. I read this as meaning he is saying yes i do want to be with you, i do have those feelings, but I am not ready yet so dont be talking to others about it. Am I reading this right? Anyways, he went to Florida for a week and I called him 3 times last week but he had no time for me on the phone but was cordial. Even when he is upset with me he still gives me advice and shows me he cares. Does he sound like a guy who wants to be with me but is confused scared etc? I have decided to leave him alone give him space....how long should I do this for? Overall, how do you read him? Link to post Share on other sites
clynn Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 He sounds like he cares about you as a friend. Only as a friend. Nothing romantic, not now or ever before or ever in the future. In fact, you should respect the friendship and not ever ever bring up your romantic feelings for him again. If you do it will eventually come in the way of your friendship and you will not be able to be friends with him either. If your feelings for him are too strong, then you will have to back off being friends with him until you know that you can be friends and only friends. You must respect what he has said. He does not want to be romantically involved with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nelco Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Hi..THanks for your reply but my friend has never said we are just friends except once when he was mad. Otherwise, I give him love card n notes all the time and he appreciates them. Two weeks before this last ordeal I didnt go in for lunch all week but went in for dinner on friday and right away he wanted to know why i was not in for lunch that week, i told him i was out working my ass off for both of us and he smiled and said he had been doing the same thing there too. The next week i gave him this new shirt and two days later when i came in he was wearing it. We also have wanted to go to vegas and he has picked the bellagio and a suite with a king bed. So this does not sound like a guy that just wants friendship Link to post Share on other sites
clynn Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 When are you going to Vegas? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nelco Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 We have not decided yet but probably in the fall when its cooler than the summer months and by then my surgery will be done too Link to post Share on other sites
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