i want to relocate but fiance can't

[Diezel]

You do know that just because the cost of living is more affordable in Virginia than Maryland might be proportional to the wages in Virginia possibly being lower than in Maryland, right?

 

I used to live in a place where a 2 bedroom apartment was about $300. Now I live in a studio and it's about $1,000. But I'm also making about 4 times more money now than I used to. $100 in one place is not the same as $100 in another place.

 

You might move to Virginia and suddenly face all of the same problems, eventually, that you face in Maryland. Prepare yourself for that reality.

[ArtsAndCrafts]

Yes, the cost of living in NC is lower BUT wages are lower too. And I don't know about all these factories that are hiring. I think you are being a little unrealistic about seeing NC as the Promised Land.

 

That said, your fiancé is immature & irresponsible. You have also been irresponsible but it's not too late for you. In my opinion, you should get away from that loser and move closer to your family. You're going to need their help.

[preraph]

You guys can't move off from your children. Custody would prevent this unless one of you signed over your rights to custody to the other parent. So in this case, he'd have to be willing to give up custody or only see them in the summer or something. You can only move so far away from your kids when sharing custody. The law will not let you force the other custodial parent to travel long distances to pick up their kids on their day. Some states set a limit at 90 miles or an hour and a half -- and let me tell you, you do not ever want to even have to drive that far three times a week to see your kid! Once you have kids with someone, you are stuck living near where the other parent is, even if you're not married or even if you're divorcing. Since he's not willing (to his credit) to abandon his children with her or his children with you, that means you are stuck.

[pink_sugar]

You guys can't move off from your children. Custody would prevent this unless one of you signed over your rights to custody to the other parent. So in this case, he'd have to be willing to give up custody or only see them in the summer or something. You can only move so far away from your kids when sharing custody. The law will not let you force the other custodial parent to travel long distances to pick up their kids on their day. Some states set a limit at 90 miles or an hour and a half -- and let me tell you, you do not ever want to even have to drive that far three times a week to see your kid! Once you have kids with someone, you are stuck living near where the other parent is, even if you're not married or even if you're divorcing. Since he's not willing (to his credit) to abandon his children with her or his children with you, that means you are stuck.

 

My parents had joint custody and my mom lived 2.5 hours away. However, my dad had physical custody and my mom usually visited every few months. Before that, each of my parents had one of us. My mom had me and my dad had my brother. My in-laws live in NC and have graduate degrees. However, they live in Raleigh, which is really the only place you are going to make decent money as a working professional.

[Radu]

I did not mean to appear self-centered. I'm concerned about his feelings too because i would not want him to be unhappy if he chose to relocate with me. I also would not want to put a strain on his relationship with hi daughters or my sons. This is why i'm here because i feel bad.

 

THERE Is MORE TO THE sTORY THAT WILL GIVE YOU ALL A BETTER UNDERTAKING OF WHY I FEEL THIs WAY. I WILL PROVIDE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE CHEATING IN THE PAsT.

This is why it's a good idea to tell the whole background story of the relationship.

 

 

I guess i can give it more time but i'm not tolerating bs anymore or marrying him until sure.

 

My degree is communication/ pr. I could not find a job in that field at all. I discovered social work is my passion. I love working with people and helping. Is know it i not a high paying career but i'm more concerned about making a difference in the live of others. I work with foster children now. Also i have filled out multiple app for him throughout our relationship. The job he ha now i filled out the app an he got hire. I'm not doing that anymore. I told him this too. He ha been filling out app this week.

It's great you want to make change in the life of others.

 

But do not let yourself use this as a distraction from the fact that you need to affect change in the lives of the 2 ppl who did not ask to be in this relationship ... your kids.

You should put them above other ppl ... always.

I know you are starting to do that ... so keep it in mind in case you flounder on the way to the better life.

[CrystalShine2011]

That's a tough situation. I recently broke it off with a long time boyfriend because he didn't want to leave Florida. I feel bad, but know my decision was the right one!