TrishWick Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I'm in a relationship that I'm happy/unhappy with for about a year now. For the past few months though I've been questioning the entire relationship, but something deep down kept me at bay. During that time I met a guy who I, to be completely honest, cared about a lot. We had INSTANT chemistry both physical and emotional. I am not proud to say this but we did share a few kisses. There was a 2 week period in which we could NOT get enough of each other. We would meet in the parking lot of our college and just talk for hours. I felt terrible.. for one I had a bf. Also I had a guy here who bent over backwards to prove he was a better pick. He was the better pick... but before nobody could convince me enough. Here's where things... changed.... One night we caught up with each other to talk. I was complaining about my bf, and my new guy friend slowly distanced away as the conversation went on. He said he cared a lot about me and would love to see where both him and I could go, but couldn't sit around and help me with my relationship because that would obviously destroy his chances with me. He sent me a text one night saying that although he would love to be friends with me, he couldn't because he had feelings for me. He said that he was going to be A choice and not a second choice. At the time I was being extremely selfish and wasn't aware that other emotions were in play besides mine. Before we would text everyday.... I'd be lucky to hear from him every 4 days now. Even at that our "spark" we had for each other seems to have dwindled. I feel like crap. What could be going through his head? He's so short in his responses and most of the time doesn't even respond. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 What can possibly be going through his mind is what he mentioned to you, either he's your first choice or nothing at all. I'm sure he still likes you and cares about you.But he had to distance himself because he sees that he's falling for you but you're already taken. He don't want to keep hurting his own feelings going through this because it's not fair to him. But if you're really feeling deeply about this new guy, maybe it's time to reevaluate your current relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrishWick Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 But if you're really feeling deeply about this new guy, maybe it's time to reevaluate your current relationship. This is where I'm so torn at. I love my boyfriend but I do also have a thing for the new guy. I cry almost everyday because here I am in a one sided relationship with a guy who I somehow love, and over here is a guy who wants to be with me and has treated me so well. It's been a few days since I've heard from him. When we see each other, he will simply say "Hey" and go on with his day. It makes me feel so freaking sad. I recently heard that he was pursuing a new girl. When I heard the news, I genuinely got upset... i have no right to be but I was. I'm so messed up right now... Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 It sounds like you're young, college and all that. If you're liking someone new so much while being in 'love' with someone, well to be blunt you don't love your boyfriend. When you're in love with someone you have eyes only for them. This could be a case of extreme lust or limerence. Do the right thing and tell all this to your boyfriend. If he were I, I'd want it that way. He deserves honesty. This is calling for a really deep introspective moment about what you really want. The new guy should be pushed aside for now as well and he did the right thing by not pushing further into your current relationship. However he did push a bit and pursue a taken woman which shows a complete lack of respect. By reciprocating you also showed disrespect for yourself, and your current boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts