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Agree or disagree: best state is happily coupled, second best is single

Intrepidcaribou

By Intrepidcaribou
in General Relationship Discussion

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Intrepidcaribou Member

Intrepidcaribou

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Worst is unhappily coupled. Single is always better than unhappy relationship. Single people shouldn't envy married people so much because many married people are unhappy.

almond Established Member

almond

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I don't necessarily agree or disagree - way too many variables here. There are always people around who are worse and better off than you.

 

 

 

Comparing your life to that of others...married or single, is not the path to happiness. Make good with what you've got, and if you don't like your situation, take the necessary steps to change it.

Edited by almond
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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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I rather be alone than in a bad RL...

 

I always say that about family members, friends, etc with bad guys. A bad guy is just a penis. I can go to a bar any night and pick up a penis.

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Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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I rather be alone than in a bad RL...

 

I always say that about family members, friends, etc with bad guys. A bad guy is just a penis. I can go to a bar any night and pick up a penis.

 

I don't even bother going to a pub I just get some more batteries...

 

That said in a happy relationship a truck load of AA's just wouldn't cut the mustard.

 

There are too many variables and in all honesty I suspect the question has come from pressure from media to "be" something that we keep being told is more acceptable that being ourselves.

  • Like 4
No Limit Established Member

No Limit

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Seeing how the relationships of my friends are turning out to become worse and worse the more time passes, I'm happily single and will be for a long time. I have my few best friends for companionship. More and more relationships aren't worth the time after the honeymoon phase and trust must be carefully managed and placed.

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Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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Seeing how the relationships of my friends are turning out to become worse and worse the more time passes, I'm happily single and will be for a long time. I have my few best friends for companionship. More and more relationships aren't worth the time after the honeymoon phase and trust must be carefully managed and placed.

 

I think that many people are getting into unhealthy relationships and marriages because its "the done thing" rather than because they believe that the person is the right one for them.

 

Social media and the media in general makes such a "drama" out of these things and so the perception is skewed away from what is "normal" and what happiness and contentment actually are.

 

When I speak to friends and family who have been married or had failed relationships the pain caused by this pressure is tremendous and puts good people off from trying again.

 

There are very few failed marriages in couples I know who got married for the sole reason that they wanted to be together, enjoy each others company and trust each other so that they wanted to commit to each other. Not one of these has been a bed of roses or what is perceived to be a "happy" marriage by media standards but they are healthy relationships between two people who care enormously about each other.

 

I know many failed marriages where the union was because of pressure (direct and indirect) or a sticky plaster to cover up wounds that were already there.

 

Shame.

 

Makes people bitter and hurts.

  • Like 2
acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

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I've found in my own experience, that this is true. Best feeling is when you're in a great relationship that just 'works', harmony, few arguments, great sex, chemistry, so much to talk about, shared goals, and so forth... the second best feeling is being happily single, there isn't anyone on the horizon you're pining after, you're just happy doing your own thing, seeing friends, enjoying your own company, focusing on your career.

 

The worst is being unhappily coupled, in a bad relationship that isn't working... or unhappily single, where you're desperate for human contact or companionship and just can't find it anywhere without being hurt or used.

 

But I can't deny, having that awesome relationship and a buddy to team up with against the world, that feels even more amazing than being happily, securely single. It's the icing on the cake of a happy life.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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The best state is happy. Doesn't matter whether you're single or coupled as long as you're happy. And happiness seems to be more a state of mind than anything.

  • Like 7
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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This is going to depend on the person and what they feel they need to be happy.

 

For me, I guess I'd prefer to be happily coupled, but that's only some days :laugh:. However, like you also said, single is better than unhappily coupled for me.

 

I also don't tend to live my life looking for a man. I do ultimately want a life partner but have gotten over the mentality that I was just living to find a man and without a relationship I was in some holding place. Nope. My life is full whether or not I have a relationship and it makes me a lot pickier about who I'm going to share my time, space, life with, as if they are not adding to my life for wholesale good, then I don't need them and am content being single.

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ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

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I learned the hard way being alone is better than being in a bad relationship for the sake of being one. I'm looking for a relationship that is forever lasting and better than being alone. That is hard to find.

ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

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I pose this question. If we are happy alone, have we created an image of this "perfect" lover that doesn't exist? Or do you live your life the way you want and if someone comes along that adds to your life, then so be it?

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

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Yes I'd agree. I'm happiest when I'm in a healthy relationship and I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship.

Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

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I'd say happily single is the same as happily coupled.

  • Like 1
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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This is going to depend on the person and what they feel they need to be happy.

 

For me, I guess I'd prefer to be happily coupled, but that's only some days :laugh:. However, like you also said, single is better than unhappily coupled for me.

 

I also don't tend to live my life looking for a man. I do ultimately want a life partner but have gotten over the mentality that I was just living to find a man and without a relationship I was in some holding place. Nope. My life is full whether or not I have a relationship and it makes me a lot pickier about who I'm going to share my time, space, life with, as if they are not adding to my life for wholesale good, then I don't need them and am content being single.

 

Agreed...

 

I watch all the "fools" falling in "so-called" looooove (like the song 'Why do fools fall in love) and while I know that realistically, they are probably just settling, excited of out of silly emotions (honeymoon phase) - when nothing of substance is there....you sorta feel "left out"

 

But I take comfort in knowing while I have a lot of "lonely nights", I'm more discerning in who I bring into my life.

Edited by Gloria25
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