bigtrouble Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 (edited) Love is a strange thing... Its either in there dormant or its gone, if its inside all it needs is a spark to comeback, once gone, you have to make a conscious choice to give it another go and let yourself fall in love again. Or just dump your partner and leave find somebody else. Its really different for everybody... All thru my relationship I fell out of love and and love came back, changed to something else deeper stronger unconditional, my Ex fell out of love she bailed out on us, she went to catch more butterflies. But be realistic don't wait for it, just heal and move on, aren't your hurting enough? Edited January 16, 2015 by bigtrouble 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cailinsona Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I agree with St Peter- each situation is individual. Some come back, some don't. Even if they do come back, there are no guarantees of long term happiness. If it is going to work out down the track, it has to come from him as others have said. He broke up the relationship- it's up to him to fix it. You need to go NC (listen to the people who have gone through this- there are a lot of wise people here who have been through what you are going through) No one says it's going to be easy- it will be one of the hardest things you will have to do. It's the only way you can get 'you' back and be ready for the next relationship (whether that is with your ex or with someone new) Good luck- you're not alone. We've all been there Link to post Share on other sites
Author Millie325 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 so since my last post, I have worked on feeling better and moving forwards and done very well and achieved many things. Me and the ex have recently started talking again and have arranged to meet up. But i am not sure whether to go. I still think of him fairly often but I feel much better about the break up in general and dont feel sad too much. However, that being said, I would be open to reconcilliation and my friends are worried meeting would set me back. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 so since my last post, I have worked on feeling better and moving forwards and done very well and achieved many things. Me and the ex have recently started talking again and have arranged to meet up. But i am not sure whether to go. I still think of him fairly often but I feel much better about the break up in general and dont feel sad too much. However, that being said, I would be open to reconcilliation and my friends are worried meeting would set me back. Has he said anything about reconciliation and wanting to get back with you? If he hasn't, then your friends are right, it WILL set you back. He will be there "Hey, it is really good to see you, friend" and you will be there hoping he loves you. Dumpers nearly always want to see the dumpee again, but it often doesn't mean they want to get back with them, they just want to tie up loose ends and make themselves feel less guilty. You, being vulnerable may even fall into bed with him, but unless he wants you back and says so in no uncertain terms before you meet up, then he will say "It was nice to see you, maybe we can do this sometime again in the future" and move on, leaving you in bits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Millie325 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 He has not said that. But I dont feel like he could say that, as we dont know what it will be like with each other after this time apart. I dont expect reconciliation, I expect friendship but I would be open to it. I'm more just worried that seeing him will upset me rather than being affected by what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 He has not said that. But I dont feel like he could say that, as we dont know what it will be like with each other after this time apart. I dont expect reconciliation, I expect friendship but I would be open to it. I'm more just worried that seeing him will upset me rather than being affected by what he wants. I think you are right to be worried, the partner that still cares is always the one that finds friendship with the ex difficult, as they tend to end up wanting more, and more is not often on the table. As "just friends" you may then also come up against his new dating history, can you cope with that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Millie325 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I don't know if I could take hearing about dating. But I feel like I need to see him to establish how I actually feel now if that makes sense. But maybe I will wait some more time I dont know. Link to post Share on other sites
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