Do I access her facebook after my trust has been shaken?

[Rko28]

Thanks for all the new comments above.

 

I told her Friday I think it's best we ended things because of how she's feeling now with her issues etc.

 

It's now Sunday morning here in the UK and I haven't had an answer yes or no, just a reply that she will text me properly about it when she has a moment to sit down (busy with work and seeing a friend to cheer her up!)

 

I replied that I'm in limbo at the minute and it's pretty crap of her to be doing this to and I've never waited so long for an answer.

 

When (if?!) she replies or calls then I am going to end this, Her lack of action from that message says it all, she is t on ten same page as me and for whatever reason doesn't care.

 

I'm going to be so much better off without her, yes it will hurt for a week or two but long term it's the right thing.

 

Just have to keep this frame of mind until I hear off her and not let her talk me around.

[veggirl]

Thanks for all the new comments above.

 

I told her Friday I think it's best we ended things because of how she's feeling now with her issues etc.

 

It's now Sunday morning here in the UK and I haven't had an answer yes or no, just a reply that she will text me properly about it when she has a moment to sit down (busy with work and seeing a friend to cheer her up!)

 

I replied that I'm in limbo at the minute and it's pretty crap of her to be doing this to and I've never waited so long for an answer.

 

When (if?!) she replies or calls then I am going to end this, Her lack of action from that message says it all, she is t on ten same page as me and for whatever reason doesn't care.

 

I'm going to be so much better off without her, yes it will hurt for a week or two but long term it's the right thing.

 

Just have to keep this frame of mind until I hear off her and not let her talk me around.

 

You dont need to wait to hear from her. Just consider it ENDED.

 

FFS this girl could not care LESS about you....what girl just chills for 2 days when her bf says he wants to END THINGS? No girl who's in love.

 

Ignore her, if she texts you IGNORE IT. It's over and done, there is nothing to talk about...hasnt she made that pretty clear this weekend?

[SycamoreCircle]

"I texted her yesterday to ask if she was eating a ham sandwich. She texted me back and told me that she would text me in two days to let me know. It's now Day 3 and I've heard nothing."

 

OP, this woman is a lazy, selfish, coward. Consider yourself lucky.

[Rko28]

You dont need to wait to hear from her. Just consider it ENDED.

 

FFS this girl could not care LESS about you....what girl just chills for 2 days when her bf says he wants to END THINGS? No girl who's in love.

 

Ignore her, if she texts you IGNORE IT. It's over and done, there is nothing to talk about...hasnt she made that pretty clear this weekend?

 

I know, I know. I just guess I need to see it and say it for me to get my closure.

 

She said in her message she's with her friend who's dad is dying and she needs her and also because she feels down she needs her friend too.

 

That is true but why ignore me with it?

 

She really doesn't give 2 hoots and she will regret losing me because I'd have done anything for that girl

[SycamoreCircle]

She doesn't care about your feelings.

 

She would only ever use you if she was bored, there were no other options and her low self-esteem was kicking in.

 

It's over. There's nothing for her to say. For her to tell the truth would be:

 

"Look, I'm not interested. I want what I want when I want it. I could only be in a relationship with a guy I think I have something to gain from. I don't respect you. But maybe tomorrow I'll feel like crap and text you a few words. When I read your response though, I'll probably just not respond."

[JS84]

Seriously it doesn't sound like either one of you needs to be in a relationship. You stress out when you don't hear from her, then you stress out when you actually do hear from her. I haven't seen you say one positive thing about your girlfriend or list any positive quality that she has. You describe absolutely NO positive experiences with your girlfriend.

 

Personally your girlfriend sounds flaky and not that into you at best and dishonest, shady, and not that into you at worst.

 

But regardless of her behavior, it doesn't sound like you need to be in a relationship with anyone until you deal with your anxiety issues. Being upset and suspicious about what she pulled on NYE is understandable, but your subsequent reaction, paranoia, and behavior in the time since has been bizarre and over the top.

 

Relationships, especially ones that are only 8 months old, are not supposed to be stress inducing. At least not anything near what you're experiencing.

 

Wish her good luck and stop contacting her. And you don't need "closure". That's what people say they want when they're not quite ready to let go. Just move on. In the end, I don't think it matters what your girlfriend did or didn't do. You need to work on some things about yourself so you can have and recognize a healthy relationship.

[CarrieT]

And you don't need "closure". That's what people say they want when they're not quite ready to let go.

^ ^ THIS ^ ^

 

What is "closure" other than beating a dead horse? You know it is over and she knows it is over.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if you never heard from her again...

[TG1]

Yes my man you need to end things and just move on man definitely end things and if she all of a sudden wonders why, then you can tell her just why you have decided to end things for her rather than her ending things with you, you beat her to the punch

[Rko28]

Seriously it doesn't sound like either one of you needs to be in a relationship. You stress out when you don't hear from her, then you stress out when you actually do hear from her. I haven't seen you say one positive thing about your girlfriend or list any positive quality that she has. You describe absolutely NO positive experiences with your girlfriend.

 

Personally your girlfriend sounds flaky and not that into you at best and dishonest, shady, and not that into you at worst.

 

But regardless of her behavior, it doesn't sound like you need to be in a relationship with anyone until you deal with your anxiety issues. Being upset and suspicious about what she pulled on NYE is understandable, but your subsequent reaction, paranoia, and behavior in the time since has been bizarre and over the top.

 

Relationships, especially ones that are only 8 months old, are not supposed to be stress inducing. At least not anything near what you're experiencing.

 

Wish her good luck and stop contacting her. And you don't need "closure". That's what people say they want when they're not quite ready to let go. Just move on. In the end, I don't think it matters what your girlfriend did or didn't do. You need to work on some things about yourself so you can have and recognize a healthy relationship.

 

It was probably in my initial thread were I mentioned all the positives, from August to December it was as good as I've ever had it with a girl.

 

We grew so close, saw each other regularly, looked forward to seeing each other, I loved it she wasn't pushy, I could see my friends and there would be no arguements and what I loved more than anything was the trust and the incredible feeling that she saw me for what I am, somebody special and caring. In my mind through her words and actions I thought "this is it, this is what I e waited nearly 33 years for, after many failed dates and relationships, this is why they never worked,this girl is the one, this is the one I've been waiting for and deserve.

 

So that's the positives, going from that to what I'm experiencing now is the hard part to swallow. Everything pointed towards her being a good person to be with, my gut, her words, her actions, what her friends told me about her history.

 

Yes the new year thing rocked it but if she continued to be how she was before then I'm 99% sure things would've worked.

 

As for sorting myself out? To a degree yes, but I don't think I'm this messed up anxious person that has contributed to his not working. If she hadn't have lied and gone so distant like this then I wouldn't be here.

fact.

[Try]

She said in her message she's with her friend who's dad is dying and she needs her and also because she feels down she needs her friend too.

Being with a friend who has a dad that is dying does not tie you up every minute of the day for days. Heck if you were important to her she could text you in the bathroom for gosh sake. Your issue with her is that you were a low priority and this just proves you right. Stop waiting for her answer. Stop using the bull reason that you need closure, and just move on. She does not care enough about you so you need to stop caring back. At this point, you are doing one of the most pathetically weak break ups that I have even heard of. Man up and move on. You do not need her feedback or permission to do so. And when she gets around to sending you a text with some weak excuse, just ignore her and move on. Edited January 26, 2015 by Try

[Rko28]

Being with a friend who has a dad that is dying does not tie you up every minute of the day for days. Heck if you were important to her she could text you in the bathroom for gosh sake. Your issue with her is that you were a low priority and this just proves you right. Stop waiting for her answer. Stop using the bull reason that you need closure, and just move on. She does not care enough about you so you need to stop caring back. At this point, you are doing one of the most pathetically weak break ups that I have even heard of. Man up and move on. You do not need her feedback or permission to do so. And when she gets around to sending you a text with some weak excuse, just ignore her and move on.

 

Youre absolutely correct here, as the majority of you are with your input.

 

She text again this morning saying shes been up all night with her friend and hasnt been to sleep yet, there fore another day of her being a coward and not having the balls to speak to me im guessing.

 

My birthday is on wednesday, going to be a horrible one now thanks to her

[Diezel]

My birthday is on wednesday, going to be a horrible one now thanks to her

 

It's only horrible if YOU allow it to be horrible. Go out, enjoy it. Spend it with people who give a damn about you.

 

But from now on, you can NO longer blame her for whatever happens next in your life. You made your decision, stick to it.

 

You can either let this defeat you and beat you down or you can use this time to make positive change. Make your birthday count and use it as a new, fresh beginning. It's time to give yourself some value, rather than have someone else in your life be what defines you as a person.

[umirano]

Go NC already on that hot mess of an ex GF. Really, nothing can fix this. Even if she 180s on that shady behavior that's going on since, what? Christmas? - it will never be the same, she's messed with your head too much for you to just brush it off and go back to butterflies and shyt.

 

 

For your own sake, occupy yourself with something more pleasurable than a serious case of not giving a fnck.

 

Greetings,

umirano

[lovedating]

You ask the question, it means you don't want to leave her,but you can't stand the cheat. If you want a serious relationship with her, you must trust her,but if think you can't trust her you must leave her, everybody makes mistakes:)

if you are over 50 ,and want to a new dating , <a href="http://www.seniormeetlogin.com">Login to Senior Meet </a>

[Rko28]

True guys, her behaviour since me bringing up the fact i wanted to end it has really shown me what kind of person shes like and the kind of bullet ive dodged.

 

How ANYONE cant act like this is beyond me, to go from so caring to completely distancing themselves from someone that wouldve done anything for them.

 

Im really questioning whats wrong with me now, how did this happen, why did it happen and how have I been so fooled like this.

[SycamoreCircle]

Nothing is wrong with you. You made yourself vulnerable and cared for someone. People get to choose---return vulnerability or retract vulnerability. She chose the latter.

[JS84]

It probably wasn't even you, mostly anyway. She was either cheating or wasn't into the relationship anymore and didn't have the guts to end it. Based on how you describe her behavior, I really doubt she's broken up over this.

[irishguy]

Dont text her anymore ,she clearly has no interest .No excuse for the way she is treating you so just forget her .

[Rko28]

Haven't heard off her since Sunday now, my birthday today which she knew about, not even a happy birthday text.

 

I'm so glad this horrible cu.... No I want use that word, horrible girl is out of my life, I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around so she is in for a world of pain some day.

 

Still struggling to get my head around what happened but I've cut her out of everything now, facebook, social media etc. I've got one text to send saying what a horrible thing she has done, soon as that's sent the number is blocked and I will never have to see her again.

[Diezel]

Wrong, wrong, wrong mindset.

 

And don't send that text.

[LoveRefreshed]

Once you tell someone you don't want them in your life anymore, every text after that is a contradiction and an effort to goad them into being in your life.

 

You do not want her in your life, so stop making efforts to keep her there. Let her go, do not send her any message.

[Rko28]

She text with 1 minute of my birthday left:

 

"hey lovely, happy birthday, hope youve had a great day. I had my 1st counselling session today, went really well, just thought I should let you know. Hope youre ok xxx"

 

WTF?!!

 

I responded pretty much straight away, said thanks but also said please let me know whats going on here, I need to know. No reply.

[irishguy]

Ah come on man you know yourself what is going on , she is clearly just stringing you along , doing the minium to keep you around .Its time to follow through on deleting her from your life

[Rko28]

It's all over. All done, close the thead.

 

She text apologising saying she had been busy blah blah, feeling down blah blah, and that time apart would help for now, sorry to be a pain.

 

I think a person can only take so much before they snap. I reached that point tonight.

 

All my frustrations came out, said I refuse to believe she could t find time otherwise that proves I'm not important, said I felt cast aside and after the whole new year thing it's all ruined. I said would she really be that bothered if she never saw me again?

 

No reply

 

Just noticed she's blocked me on facebook. Game over.

 

Genuine thanks to everyone on here, I'm sorry if I've gone on and got on your nerves. If anything I've learnt a lot about myself after all this. I feel really let down but I'm not feeling really upset,I know she's not worth my time, I'm a better person than her and I've dodged a bullet. Thanks again to you all.

 

Now.... How do I install this tinder app?

[insert_name]

I'll be blunt OP, this thread should have ended on page 5.

 

Its pan ed out exactly like I and no doubt others would have predicted after 3 pages. I just cant get over how you are hanging on after she comes out with all these ridiculous scenarios, the latest being that her friends dad has had some kind of problem with something that caused something else to happen and now the dog needs to be put down and blah blah blah. Crikey I can see why she works in theatre she is probably getting these storylines directly from.the plays that are performed there and if they should actually turn out to be true then you should still finish with her because she sounds like a flaming jinx! Shes the total opposite of a lucky rabbits paw!

 

Thankfully it looks like you have seen the light. As hard as it is you need to put her out of your mind, say not another word to her so when she eventually comes calling (which she probably wont) she will see that you are already long gone. Celebrate your birthday as if she doesnt exist because the best revenge is living well.