Do I access her facebook after my trust has been shaken?

[Rko28]

Trust me it is over for good. There is no going back.

 

My biggest worry is that this girl I was in to more than any of my other exes but.... I don't feel sad, if anything I have relief, sure there's a couple of sad moments when I think back, literally had that twice today, but mainly i feel good.

 

Is this natural?

[Rko28]

you will never guess who whatsapp'ed me today!

 

I was chatting to a friend on there when suddenly I was inundated with 4 or 5 messages straight after each other.

 

Now I havent spoke to her in nearly a month and havent seen her in over a month either so I wasnt expecting to hear off her.

 

The basics of the message were hey, hope youre ok blah blah, asking if I still have the same email address as she wants to write to me later to explain EVERYTHING that happened with us.

 

I had a heart in mouth moment when I saw her text and a rush of excitement/anxiety but I have no interest in getting back with her.

 

My friends think it might be party of her therapy shes goign through, closing doors and putting to bed things in her past?

[Zahara]

My friends think it might be party of her therapy shes goign through, closing doors and putting to bed things in her past?

 

No. It's a crumb.

[kendahke]

The basics of the message were hey, hope youre ok blah blah, asking if I still have the same email address as she wants to write to me later to explain EVERYTHING that happened with us.

 

she's blocked on your email, right?

[Chi townD]

Dude, move on with your life. A month has gone by and she discovered that you were no longer available for her to lean on when it was convenient to her.

 

 

Screw that email letter, it would just be FULL of BS that you don't need to hear. And it's probably full of stuff blaming you for the demise of the relationship.

 

 

You got better things to do.

[Rko28]

I have no interest in getting back with her. A month has passed and although I still think about her now and again I can see what sham that last month was and how poorly I got treated. I dont need that in my life. At all.

 

If anything this has made me realise that I actually quite like this younger girl im dating. I wouldnt leave her for this at all.

[Zahara]

I have no interest in getting back with her. A month has passed and although I still think about her now and again I can see what sham that last month was and how poorly I got treated. I dont need that in my life. At all.

 

If anything this has made me realise that I actually quite like this younger girl im dating. I wouldnt leave her for this at all.

 

Then block your ex. She's going to keep reaching out, then what? Post everytime she does wanting to know what it means? If you want to move on, you have to sever the tie. And granted you like this new girl, is it really fair that a part of you is still pondering about your ex?

[Rko28]

Then block your ex. She's going to keep reaching out, then what? Post everytime she does wanting to know what it means? If you want to move on, you have to sever the tie. And granted you like this new girl, is it really fair that a part of you is still pondering about your ex?

 

I think its only human nature to wonder what happened, that doesnt mean im going to go back to her or think less of my current dating partner. I have even told her shes been in touch. Nothing to hide at all.

 

I merely posted just as something to discuss and an update.

[aliveagain]

Although we spoke face to face about all this, when I got in that night she text another apology and again went over her reasons for lying. the reason is as follows:

 

"I really didnt want you thinking I was going off you or didnt want to see you, I know I should have been with you on new year but after working 14 hour days and not eating properly or having any kind of life I just wanted to get away and have a blow out far away from here and have a change of scenery for a couple of days. If I said I was with the crew then I thought that might have sounded better and you would have understood a bit better why I was going rather than just to see friends off holiday. Im sorry I lied and I hated doing it, im not that kind of girl and I shouldve just told you the truth"

 

I know I am jumping in late but I just want to remind you that regardless of what she wants you to believe, she is that kind of girl, her actions prove it. Who in their right mind blows off their boyfriend on NYE to party with people she met on a holiday? If they can lie to you they can do a lot worse to you. Nothing she has done has made you feel safe. How will you survive in a long term relationship with someone that's already lying to you early into the relationship? She should be fighting tooth and nail for you instead of throwing you a few crumbs now and then. People with as many excuses as she has usually make very poor partners. Stay on your path, google the "180" and make it your way of life when dealing with her. The new girl sounds nice.

[road]

Just came across this post today. Too many posts to read very little info so I will go with a guess.

 

 

Many a WW/WGF make subconscious slips so they get caught. They want to get caught for many reasons. I speculate the GF wanted to break up but wanted the BF to say it so she can claim it was not her that ended the relationship.

 

 

This hypothesis is this is why the GF left her password on her BF's computer.

 

 

However this BF did not have the strength to check her online presence because he knew in his mind that she cheated. Yet he could not man up to confirm his hypothesis into fact.

 

 

Come on to all the posters that missed a big holiday evening celebration and the GF wanted to be with her co-workers and excluded her BF.

 

 

That screams I don't want you around so the OM and I can Bang ourselves silly.

[smackie9]

It's bloody over, and your energy is better spent elsewhere.....

[road]

[/b]

 

I know I am jumping in late but I just want to remind you that regardless of what she wants you to believe, she is that kind of girl, her actions prove it. Who in their right mind blows off their boyfriend on NYE to party with people she met on a holiday? If they can lie to you they can do a lot worse to you. Nothing she has done has made you feel safe. How will you survive in a long term relationship with someone that's already lying to you early into the relationship? She should be fighting tooth and nail for you instead of throwing you a few crumbs now and then. People with as many excuses as she has usually make very poor partners. Stay on your path, google the "180" and make it your way of life when dealing with her. The new girl sounds nice.

 

 

Just saw this post after mine got posted. Yes a show gives final performance. Cast goes away on a over night trip? Any body want to buy a bridge in Brooklyn.

[Zahara]

I think its only human nature to wonder what happened, that doesnt mean im going to go back to her or think less of my current dating partner. I have even told her shes been in touch. Nothing to hide at all.

 

I merely posted just as something to discuss and an update.

 

Of course it's human nature to wonder but in your case, you shouldn't be wondering about someone that doesn't deserve your emotion or energy. Only a month ago you were lashing out and still emotionally affected by her i.e. not investing time, seeing you. Let's be honest, there's more to it than just curiosity.

 

I think dumpees often leave the door open to contact because it feeds the ego and it gives them some validation that they are still in the dumper's line of vision.

Edited February 23, 2015 by Zahara

[lolablue17]

Now I havent spoke to her in nearly a month and havent seen her in over a month either so I wasnt expecting to hear off her.

 

The basics of the message were hey, hope youre ok blah blah, asking if I still have the same email address as she wants to write to me later to explain EVERYTHING that happened with us.

 

I had a heart in mouth moment when I saw her text and a rush of excitement/anxiety but I have no interest in getting back with her.

 

You can reply and text her that you're not interested in her explanations. Or you can send her your Email.

 

But do it only after you've waited 2 month...

[umirano]

Just drop her man, she's friggin mess. Why'd you want someone like that in your life? I like the easy life, the simple life. People like that make your life complicated. You don't know what they really want. They will try to suck you back into their vortex, and unfortunately they're usually quite good at it.

 

You're better off removing her completely from your life. There's no way you can salvage this and maintain your dignity, let alone your sanity. So why keep her around? What good can she bring to your life? You think someone like that could eventually be a trustworthy friend? Stop kidding yourself. She was young and hot, I know. But they can be as toxic as they're hot.

 

You don't eat a pound of barbiturates just because they come served as a nice multi-layer cake with icing, do you?

[Rko28]

I didn't reply to her text and I won't be doing so either. If she emails me then I'll read it but 99.9% won't reply

[umirano]

I'd very much like to see you being stronger than I was Good luck!

[SycamoreCircle]

I didn't reply to her text and I won't be doing so either. If she emails me then I'll read it but 99.9% won't reply

Good for you, man. You don't need that bloodclot in your life. One more month of NC and her pathetic world will really come crashing down. "I lost a really great guy..."

[Rko28]

Thanks guys.

So I didnt reply (and wont be replying) and Ive not even had an email off her, just checked now.

 

I wonder if the text was meant for someone else

[whichwayisup]

I didn't reply to her text and I won't be doing so either. If she emails me then I'll read it but 99.9% won't reply

 

No, block her on email, fb and phone. No reason to keep any contact! Why read it? All that does is keep her in your head. So pointless, especially if you are with someone else now.

[Rko28]

I havent had the email off her anyway so my lack of reply will have sent her the message she needs.

[katiegrl]

Do you think she's lying for me to feel sorry for her?

 

Bingo!!! ....................

 

I just dont see when she would have the time to be with someone else though, seriously she works 14 hour days 5 days a week most of the time.

Shes even shown me her work calendar to show how busy she is.

 

I just dont buy it for a second that shes seeing anyone else.

 

Checking on her facebook messages is irrelevant now anyway, I deleted the password without using it as it didnt feel right.

 

I actually believe shes feeling down at the minute hence her behaviour. Its just a question now if im better off leaving this situation.

 

STOP IT...seriously dude...take off the rose-colored glasses....please!!!

 

She takes a lot of selfies and changes Her whatsapp profile picture an awful lot.

I'm sure that's a sign of self confidence, but she's a dancer, a performer and one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, I don't see how she can feel insecure.

 

What is SN Activity?

 

Insecurity comes from what's lacking within....not from what they possess on the outside.

Edited February 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[Rko28]

Bingo!!! ....................

 

 

 

STOP IT...seriously dude...take off the rose-colored glasses....please!!!

 

 

 

Insecurity comes from what's lacking within....not from what they possess on the outside.

 

Dont worry, this ended a long time ago.

[Space Ritual]

Young man,

 

I don't come round here much anymore but I hope you have learned a valuable lesson about being a "plan B" and the hell people will put themselves through on the journey they go on to arrive at just that. It's no way for anyone to be treated, but more importantly, it's worse when you try to "nice" someone back.

 

If I remember correctly from the first couple of pages that you had not even had sex with this woman at all over the course of the 4 months you were together.

 

You met a temporary emotional need for her, not a physical one. No more, no less.

 

I think you would have saved yourself a boatload of emotional turmoil had you actually snooped. For you would not have been invading her privacy. but rather, as it turned out...and usually does...you would have invaded her secrecy. A lot of the heartache you felt could have been avoided had you just availed yourself to her error at leaving her password on your computer. I mean come on. You didn't even bang her and she was giving you the bum's rush. As soon as the NYE excuse was trotted out there you would have been better off having a look see. It would have probably revealed beyond a doubt that you were nothing more than an emotional crutch for her and she was getting boned by somebody else the entire time.

 

Liars cheat and cheaters lie. No 2 ways about that!

 

Be happy you dodged a bullet and hopefully you can take away from this to never settle on being someone's 2nd choice.

 

Good Luck

Edited February 27, 2015 by Space Ritual

[Rko28]

Young man,

 

I don't come round here much anymore but I hope you have learned a valuable lesson about being a "plan B" and the hell people will put themselves through on the journey they go on to arrive at just that. It's no way for anyone to be treated, but more importantly, it's worse when you try to "nice" someone back.

 

If I remember correctly from the first couple of pages that you had not even had sex with this woman at all over the course of the 4 months you were together.

 

You met a temporary emotional need for her, not a physical one. No more, no less.

 

I think you would have saved yourself a boatload of emotional turmoil had you actually snooped. For you would not have been invading her privacy. but rather, as it turned out...and usually does...you would have invaded her secrecy. A lot of the heartache you felt could have been avoided had you just availed yourself to her error at leaving her password on your computer. I mean come on. You didn't even bang her and she was giving you the bum's rush. As soon as the NYE excuse was trotted out there you would have been better off having a look see. It would have probably revealed beyond a doubt that you were nothing more than an emotional crutch for her and she was getting boned by somebody else the entire time.

 

Liars cheat and cheaters lie. No 2 ways about that!

 

Be happy you dodged a bullet and hopefully you can take away from this to never settle on being someone's 2nd choice.

 

Good Luck

 

Thank you for your words.

 

Now ive had a month or so with zero contact (bar her weird text the other day) I can see now what a mess it was from mid december onwards. Ill never truely know what went on and even though I said previously "I need to know" I actually dont now, Ive moved on and dont really care for her a jolt. Her actions have led to that.

 

I also never got that email she spoke of. Crazy bi*ch