What old fashioned act would you bring back?

[littleblackheart]

Women again having to actually meet a standard instead of it being a free for all of criticism or critiques on men, only hearing women talk about what a man can't or doesn't do for her, not what she can do for him.

 

And having an attitude of self-respect and class within themselves, instead of acting like trash and making bad decisions, but still dreaming of a chivalrous white knight to come sweep them off their feet in some overly romanticized way, which why would a man feel inclined to do such a thing? For Miss I'm dating and sleeping with several men on OLD and determining which one I like best?

 

Because thats the reality of today's dating world and those men just get critiqued on where he takes her, what he does or did, etc...as if they're entitled and some kind of princess of purity. Why put her on a pedestal? For doing what?

 

If men treat women nowadays like the men of old, many women wouldn't even know how to react, they're much more accustomed to selling themselves cheap and likely don't even have that much respect for themselves, and would instead be more comfortable with someone more abusive, abrasive and generally less respectful.

 

Because I've never seen those guys do well, they just get used, even if they get the girl the idiot doesn't realize it's just for the perks, reliable love and attention she gets.

 

A lot of guys get dumped in the trash for trying to emulate what women say in this thread that they'd like to experience, but I think generally the quality in women has dropped more significantly than it has for men, the men are still there just generally not perfect and up to the woman's wildest dreams and expectations, but they weren't seen that way in the past...so she dumps him because she doesn't feel it, but I guess she gets to chalk it up in her book of good experiences.

 

But I hear men praise women with old fashioned values, they're just few and far inbetween. Most women these days are looking for the perfect men...while not exactly maintaining the same idealistic standard, but they think they deserve it anyway just for being their "special" selves. It's funny that women have this well crafted image of the perfect men, but then just themselves which conveniently meets that standard I suppose...what mirror?

 

With the things I've seen and known women personally do to good men, even for them it never changes what they feel entitled to...that's what wrong with women IMO these days...many have zero class or responsibility, only give a damn what happened to them, but when they hurt a guy or treat them poorly...it's like gee sorry buddy.

 

I'm glad I'm an @sshole, saved my heart and the trouble from what I've seen any guy who's tried to put on a pedestal...because Mr 50's guy gets burned at the stake in 2015. Never seen it go down any different.

 

Sorry ladies, but you don't deserve the pedestal anymore...."equality", remember?

 

Oh dear... Is there anything we could do to lift your spirits up, my friend?

[me85]

Oh man, many things! Where to begin??

 

Men used to dress in suits for every occasion and women used to get all fancy for every occasion as well. That would be nice to see in my lifetime.

[ascendotum]

True dating / courting, not this hanging out business.

 

I was watching a 1950s movie this morning & the guy was gushing about how there were big things coming up like the school dance & he was really hoping the girl might be available to go with him.

 

golly gee willikers that sounds like it would be really swell movie.

 

when it comes to showing respect for your neighbors and the elderly and common courtesy to others I'm all for that and would like to turn back the clock on that.

As for going old fashioned when it comes to dating rituals, nah that stuff can stay in the past. Genies out of the bottle. In a relationship when you know the nature of the woman and realize she appreciates you, and wont see nice as weak/lame/desperate/corny, sure, but dating is different. I'm Gen X and I'm finding a few of my Gen X, empowered, you-go girl, SATC relationship style female friends/co-workers are now getting nostalgic for a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady days, as they don't quite have the upper hand now. lol. I find it a little strange that young women like the OP would get nostalgic for 'happy days' style dating. My guess is that they would want the guys (especially the LTR types) to change but not want to give up the benefits of modern feminism/cosmo girl culture. Keep the modern good with the old fashioned good would be best of both worlds.

Edited January 16, 2015 by ascendotum

[Els]

And the hat-doffing and offering arms is still here!

 

Aww, that's sweet! I think it's more of an English custom, though, so lots of other cultures don't practice it.

 

Not so much with the younger generation, although they still hold doors, leave their seats, offer to carry your suitcase and let you in in front of the queue - it's just that sometimes, we women aren't perhaps as appreciative as we could be. I really like it - I just think it's cute!.

 

Yup. I haven't found that ALL guys do it - some don't - but many still do, it certainly isn't nonexistent. My guy still does some of that for me, after all these years.

 

I agree that women should try and receive those gestures well, too, though I think many already do. I'm sure a few don't, but equally so a few men are *******s, too. No point concerning ourselves with them.

[CALOVELY]

Duels. Enough with the Twitter fights.

[littleblackheart]

Aww, that's sweet! I think it's more of an English custom, though, so lots of other cultures don't practice it.

 

It is in France too - French men really know how to woo a lady, I think it's in their genes . I may be a tad biased there, though...

 

 

I'm sure a few don't, but equally so a few men are *******s, too. No point concerning ourselves with them.

 

 

Agreed.

[todreaminblue]

Aww, that's sweet! I think it's more of an English custom, though, so lots of other cultures don't practice it.

 

 

 

Yup. I haven't found that ALL guys do it - some don't - but many still do, it certainly isn't nonexistent. My guy still does some of that for me, after all these years.

 

I agree that women should try and receive those gestures well, too, though I think many already do. I'm sure a few don't, but equally so a few men are *******s, too. No point concerning ourselves with them.

 

 

the guys that have done the arm offer for me were .south african....italian......macedonian....spanish......greek..aboriginal..aussies..and my granddads...aussie(welsh and english heritage)..so maybe its a european thing or maybe not.....considering some were aussies..maybe its a brown eyed thing drk hair thing....or maybe i knew they would offer their arm so thats why i dated them...smilin...its alive and well i believe.....i feel all guys should offer their arm make a lady feel special..............deb

[Lokin4AReason]

respect towards one another ( like back in the 30s thru the 50s ), that mind set isn't there anymore nowadays(s) =0(

 

 

cutting the umbilical cord on technology ( as in smart phones, ipads, etc ... ) , its seems to many people can not and will not function w/o it ( I mean family dinner and everyone at the table is on their phones and not talking to each other, its like W$T*F !?!?!?! )

Edited January 16, 2015 by Lokin4AReason

[GemmaUK]

There was something so simple yet beautiful about how people connected back in the day particularly when it came to courting and relationships. That was probably one of the most shocking things I learned when I jumped back into the dating pool after having been away for 20 years. So few men know how to really treat a woman anymore. It's very disheartening

 

It's not just men though, it's women and men - many of them don't seem to know how to treat people with any respect these days.

 

 

If I see someone struggling with something I will go and offer to help.

I hold doors open for men and women and some will say thank you but many don't.

I will also say 'you're welcome sir/young lady (no matter what age they are - I usually get a giggle out of people when I say it.)

 

 

The only man in my life to have been chivalrous towards me was my Dad.

He was a gentleman and a great laugh, sweet and kind too, to everyone. He was a very well liked man. Of whom I am still very proud.

 

 

I wish (like someone else mentioned that men (who I date) would walk beside me instead of in front of me. If they want to hold my hand whilst they barge ahead (with their longer legs and flat shoes) then sorry but they will be disappointed.

By the time I have walked 30 minutes and got myself all ready for a night out I don't want to be a sweaty mess when I arrive from running to keep up.

 

 

I also wish people would look up and not have their heads buried in their phones always.

I used to meet some great people travelling around who would speak and pass the time of day. Not so anymore.

These days the most you get (on a train for instance) is a man sitting next to you who spreads his legs so wide in order to cram you in that his crutch must ache!

I'm tiny so don't take up a whole seat on a train but it surprises me just how much space even a short skinny man needs.

[GemmaUK]

the guys that have done the arm offer for me were .south african....italian......macedonian....spanish......greek..aboriginal..aussies..and my granddads...aussie(welsh and english heritage)..so maybe its a european thing or maybe not.....considering some were aussies..maybe its a brown eyed thing drk hair thing....or maybe i knew they would offer their arm so thats why i dated them...smilin...its alive and well i believe.....i feel all guys should offer their arm make a lady feel special..............deb

 

 

 

Hmmm.. I live in Europe..it's not a European thing..

I think maybe you just found gentlemen.

Send any spares my way, I'm feminine and I would appreciate it.

[Ruby Slippers]

Oh dear... Is there anything we could do to lift your spirits up, my friend?

I agree. Ninja, every post I read from you these days gets bleaker. What is going on?!

[regine_phalange]

I wish (like someone else mentioned that men (who I date) would walk beside me instead of in front of me. If they want to hold my hand whilst they barge ahead (with their longer legs and flat shoes) then sorry but they will be disappointed.

 

No! Really? Everyone? Unbelievable.

 

It never happens to me (only once). Maybe because I tend to hold men from the arm? Or they're just considerate. I'm a bit pissed that everyone walks ahead of you, maybe you could turn around and head back home while they're occupied with walking ahead.

[SpiralOut]

I miss picking a day, time and place to meet someone and then just going there to wait for them. Then they show up and we hang out. The end.

 

 

Now it's like anytime I meet someone I have to check my cell while they text me things like

"okay I'm almost there"

"okay I'm here now."

"where are you?"

"okay I see you! I'm walking towards you now!"

[anne1707]

Ok this hat doffing thing in Britain....

 

The OP makes it sound like this was a big thing and done to all elderly etc and not that long ago either but that is all a bit too romanticised when compared to reality.

 

It did happen but not quite as represented and under specific circumstances which because people do not where hats to the same level now, they just say "thank you" or "excuse me" instead

 

Hat etiquette for men by Marian Horvat

[avintagegirl]

**Bit of a disclaimer, I'm sort of old-fashioned**

 

 

I miss a bit of the formality of older times, when actually "dressing up" for dinner was a thing. This goes for men and women. Tonight I went out with friends and I wore a casual blazer, top, trouser jeans and a loafer-type heel. Nothing fancy. Jewelry was simple - hoop earrings and a vintage brooch. The hair was in a casual pony-tail. One of my friends asked me if I had just gotten off work (because of the way I was dressed). No, I told her, I work a skirt to work. I felt I wasn't overdressed at all, but I guess I was.

 

I miss the time and care people used to take with their appearance. If I see one more man or woman schlep into the drugstore with filthy pajama pants, a dingy white t-shirt and house shoes I will scream. It's gross.

 

I miss the manners that used to exist. I have a coworker who makes it a point to not bring out his phone when we go to lunch. Also (and I love this) when there is a water carafe, he pours mine (and the other ladies there) first. He walks on the outside of the sidewalk and stays just in front or behind when going down and up steps.

 

I also love the idea of being brought flowers. I think it is lovely.

 

I miss the sort of general respect men and women had for each other and for the idea of "romance".

[lino]

For women to actually appreciate and maybe... Just maybe even reciprocate even just 1/20th of the kindness and chivalry shown to them by quality men.

 

For women to actually mean what they say rather than say something and do the near polar opposite.

 

For women to stop opening their legs so frequently for pieces of garbage like violent men, drug dealers, rapists, paedophiles, etc.

[lino]

Women again having to actually meet a standard instead of it being a free for all of criticism or critiques on men, only hearing women talk about what a man can't or doesn't do for her, not what she can do for him.

 

And having an attitude of self-respect and class within themselves, instead of acting like trash and making bad decisions, but still dreaming of a chivalrous white knight to come sweep them off their feet in some overly romanticized way, which why would a man feel inclined to do such a thing? For Miss I'm dating and sleeping with several men on OLD and determining which one I like best?

 

Because thats the reality of today's dating world and those men just get critiqued on where he takes her, what he does or did, etc...as if they're entitled and some kind of princess of purity. Why put her on a pedestal? For doing what?

 

If men treat women nowadays like the men of old, many women wouldn't even know how to react, they're much more accustomed to selling themselves cheap and likely don't even have that much respect for themselves, and would instead be more comfortable with someone more abusive, abrasive and generally less respectful.

 

Because I've never seen those guys do well, they just get used, even if they get the girl the idiot doesn't realize it's just for the perks, reliable love and attention she gets.

 

A lot of guys get dumped in the trash for trying to emulate what women say in this thread that they'd like to experience, but I think generally the quality in women has dropped more significantly than it has for men, the men are still there just generally not perfect and up to the woman's wildest dreams and expectations, but they weren't seen that way in the past...so she dumps him because she doesn't feel it, but I guess she gets to chalk it up in her book of good experiences.

 

But I hear men praise women with old fashioned values, they're just few and far inbetween. Most women these days are looking for the perfect men...while not exactly maintaining the same idealistic standard, but they think they deserve it anyway just for being their "special" selves. It's funny that women have this well crafted image of the perfect men, but then just themselves which conveniently meets that standard I suppose...what mirror?

 

With the things I've seen and known women personally do to good men, even for them it never changes what they feel entitled to...that's what wrong with women IMO these days...many have zero class or responsibility, only give a damn what happened to them, but when they hurt a guy or treat them poorly...it's like gee sorry buddy.

 

I'm glad I'm an @sshole, saved my heart and the trouble from what I've seen any guy who's tried to put on a pedestal...because Mr 50's guy gets burned at the stake in 2015. Never seen it go down any different.

 

Sorry ladies, but you don't deserve the pedestal anymore...."equality", remember?

 

Wise words here.

 

The dating world is the sh#t fight it is because very poor quality behaviour from very poor quality men is rewarded. No if, buts or maybes.

 

The good news is that women can change this in a relatively short time IF they choose. That's a very big if though.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Chivalry

Courtesy/Kindness

 

All I see and experience now are people with rude, rushed, inconsiderate & entitled attitudes. In fact, if I run across anyone who is nice or kind...it's refreshing.

 

Sad state of affairs but it's the reality of our world now.

[todreaminblue]

Chivalry

Courtesy/Kindness

 

All I see and experience now are people with rude, rushed, inconsiderate & entitled attitudes. In fact, if I run across anyone who is nice or kind...it's refreshing.

 

Sad state of affairs but it's the reality of our world now.

 

i think when you see kindness or experience courtesy....you really notice when its nto there.....but....I know for a fact...that if you can be kind and courteous to an unkind person....it rubs off....it does make a difference......deb

[Anela]

Wise words here.

 

The dating world is the sh#t fight it is because very poor quality behaviour from very poor quality men is rewarded. No if, buts or maybes.

 

The good news is that women can change this in a relatively short time IF they choose. That's a very big if though.

 

We can't do that if men have a nasty attitude towards us, and decide to keep it that way, based on the actions of a few women.