Fears of commitment and love

[Deidre]

Hello ...I'm new here. Just joined up, and thought this looked like a good site to join to hopefully receive some objective advice, and perhaps help others if I can, with their own relationship issues.

 

 

Briefly, my childhood was abusive, and while my dad and I have been working on repairing the damage from all of that, it's caused me to have relationship issues with guys. I broke things off with an amazing guy I was in love with last year, as he wanted marriage, I didn't. I just can't see myself ever marrying, tbh.

 

 

Fast forward to now, I'm dating my neighbor, and he's been a friend for a few years. It's weird taking things into a sexual realm, but it's also been amazing too.

 

 

I guess I'm looking for advice on how to stay calm, and not let my fears ruin yet another decent relationship. Thanks in advance.

[Tozz]

Hello ...I'm new here. Just joined up, and thought this looked like a good site to join to hopefully receive some objective advice, and perhaps help others if I can, with their own relationship issues.

 

 

Briefly, my childhood was abusive, and while my dad and I have been working on repairing the damage from all of that, it's caused me to have relationship issues with guys. I broke things off with an amazing guy I was in love with last year, as he wanted marriage, I didn't. I just can't see myself ever marrying, tbh.

 

 

Fast forward to now, I'm dating my neighbor, and he's been a friend for a few years. It's weird taking things into a sexual realm, but it's also been amazing too.

 

 

I guess I'm looking for advice on how to stay calm, and not let my fears ruin yet another decent relationship. Thanks in advance.

 

 

In my opinion, you ought to enjoy the time with this person (your neighbor). Going out with him, seeing movies, hiking (if you both don't, you should:)), dinning at restaurants, sightseeing--just enjoying each other's company.

 

Being fearful about it all would not be ideal. Being positive and secure and comfortable in your relationship with possible intimacy *and autonomy would be ideal.

 

I'm no expert, but I like what I just said.

[rocketman122]

the problem is the loop youre in. no matter what man youll date, your past will affect that. nothing anyone can say here can you proper help. you will need to do some therapy.

 

does the neighbor know you dont want to get married? if not, it would be fair to tell him this. no need to bring it up now but after a month or two and things getting serious, you should let him choose if he thats what he wants also.