slugger2k22 Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 I wasnt sure which forum this belongs in but anyway here it goes. My friend, K has been going out with this guy, L on and off for maybe a year... he has had atleast one other girlfriend thoughout this... recently he has been texting me and talking to me like all the time and telling me about how they are always getting into these fights adn he cant take it anymore and says it isnt going to last. About a week ago he told me he has had a crush on me before he even started started going with K again. L told k this when he felt this way and she was like no u cant like my friend so he never said anything and then they started to go out. Then so i told him nothing could happen between us until they broke up so that night her broke up with K. I really really like L and we r kind of together now but i cant stand having to have to lie to my best friends bout where i am and everything else. L talked to k and she said out of the blue if he ever went out with me or this other girl she would never talk to him again but she has said this b4 and she 4gave him adventually but still hates that girl. Now he has told her over and over that he doens want to be more then friends with her but she wont accept that... she wants to work things out and start over with him again What should i do bc i really like this guy and he is the first one that i have really liked like this... but i dont want to hurt my like best friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Hmm, that's a tough one. How old are you all? First of all I would be careful if she is truely your best friend. You should talk to her & tell her that you like him not mentioning that you two are already together, she'll probably be more hurt that you kept it from her. I know if I was in your friends situation I would be pissed & feel extremely betrayed BUT you can't help the way you feel & neither can this guy. But I would be careful about it, If it was me I would eventually "forgive" you but it would take time & it would be VERY hard to see you two together. But I'm not her so I don't know how she would react. If you two are truely best friends no guy will come between you two. How much does she like this guy? why do they keep breaking up? Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Do you know the definition of Best Friend??? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Do you know the definition of Best Friend??? Sorry.. I'm with NSN on this.. I would never hook up with or date a Guy my Girl had been with.. it's our "unwritten rule" Link to post Share on other sites
NAS123 Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 THAT'S WRONG..BECAUSE HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF THE TABLES WERE TURNED? Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Sorry.. I'm with NSN on this.. I would never hook up with or date a Guy my Girl had been with.. it's our "unwritten rule" I completely agree w/ this. I have never done that nor would I ever but she asked what to do & I doubt very seriously she's going to break up w/ him no matter what anyone says. But if she did that to me I would EVENTUALLY forgive but I would never forget, but I'm a very forgiving person. (not always a good thing) Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Their are so many men in the sea...why be with one that's been used and abused by YOUR BEST FRIEND...It just doesn't make sense to me...I have a rule...once my friend even thinks the guy is mildly cute...cut, cut bam of the list Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Originally posted by BabyBluAngel I completely agree w/ this. I have never done that nor would I ever but she asked what to do & I doubt very seriously she's going to break up w/ him no matter what anyone says. But if she did that to me I would EVENTUALLY forgive but I would never forget, but I'm a very forgiving person. (not always a good thing) I understand she was asking what to do.. my advice is DON'T. The choice of course is up to her... Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 I dated the ex of a good friend (wouldn't call her my "best" friend, as I really didn't have one at the time...oddly enough the ex is now one of my best friends but regardless!) so I can see where you're coming from. Honestly, if I could change things I would NOT have gone out with him. First off, he and I were friends first and when his more-than-friends-feelings for me suddenly "vanished" I was a wreck. But more importantly my friend was crushed, and everyone else in our circle was put in the extremely awkward position of having to choose sides. She had broken up with the guy over a year earlier but was still hung up on him. I would think long and hard before pursuing a relationship with L. If things with him fall apart, who will you turn to? (My friend eventually forgave me - after my ex dumped me, of course - but knowing I put her through so much pain was a tough pill to swallow.) Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 I think the moral side of this problem is irrelevant. Obviously she has a right to date anyone she wants. She didn't steal him from her best friend. He broke up with his GF and started a relationship with a new girl. So everything is clean. But that's not how K will see things. She will go crazy and see it as a betrayal (which it isn't) and might even suspect that they have been dating while he was with K. Slugger, I think you will have to choose between him and her. Personally I would choose HIM. Because my life matters to me more than my friend's life, just like HER life means more to her than yours, especially when you know that she wants both girls to be unhappy rather than just herself. I don't believe in friendships so I might not be the right person to advise you. My girlfriends were not fair to me, they were always very jealous of me so now I don't have any and I am not trying to make any friendships either. Friends are friends with you only as long as you act the way they want you to act with them. For example in this case, instead of letting you be happy, she will most likely hate you and expect from you to sacrifice for her. But she wouldn't sacrifice for you! If I were you, I would simply tell her (in a friendly way, without feeling guilty of anything) that you recently started a relationship with L. She will probably ask when it started. Tell her that it started after they broke up and that you never had anything before that. If she is mad at you, don't say anything, just leave. She might change her mind after a while so don't warm the fight up by saying things you might regret or making her say things she might regret. Just tell her that you want to stay friends, that your friendship means a lot to you and that you will gladly continue to associate with her if she changes her mind and accepts your new relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 if he can cheat with u..he can cheat on u.. date my best friends ex - NEVER u dont go into that territory! Link to post Share on other sites
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