Is "skinny fit" an unrealistic goal for most women?

[xxoo]

I've never heard a man say he wished his woman looked more muscular. Which is the look of having very low body fat gives you. I go to the gym a lot as you know and it's nice to build a decent ass or whatever but I don't know many people that are into a hard shredded look.

 

Here on LS is the only place I've ever heard men saying they like muscular women.

 

Even if they were who cares. It's like people that want to watch pornstars with fake boobs, their taste, they like it, the rest of us can just say no thanks.

 

Absolutely. I'd never prioritize someone else's aesthetic preferences for MY body over my own.

[sweetjasmine]

Is "skinny fit" an unrealistic goal for most women?

Yes. "Most women" would include working mothers and single mothers struggling to keep the lights on and food on the table for their hungry children.

 

If you're instead trying to ask whether "skinny fit" is an achievable goal for most middle to upper class women, then the answer is yes. But it's still unrealistic to expect most of even that group of women to want to reach that goal.

[Imported]

When I weighed 160 pounds versus my 205 body frame, I'm sorry but it was a breeze doing things with that body weight, I could do an infinite pull-up/chin-ups and push-ups, I remember feeling like a feather...and after that, then what? try that with a 205 frame, it's a whole different world, I'm strong but still feel like a sack of potatoes, the guys that are huge and do body weight exercises, those guys are beasts, that's a tough challenge to pull that off.

 

But I think for a lot of guys it's personal and based on how they want to look.

 

I am sure "big" is open to interpretation. At my biggest (in shape), I was a fairly lean 215ish lbs at 5'11". Totally a mesomorph body, I was never a skinny frame. I wish I was as I like looking elongated and muscular, but then I'd probably have problems putting on size.

 

You don't have to be big to be strong or small to move your own body weight. If moving your body weight is a problem, you got a lot of useless weight and/or not enough strength. Assuming you're not an NFL lineman or Sumo wrestler.

 

I stay @180lbs now, move my body weight fine as well as more weight strapped on that takes me well over 215lbs. Sure, I was stronger when I was bigger, but it's not like I stopped lifting just because I dropped size.

 

 

Damn!!! :bunny: You da man!!!

 

 

Now I feel pathetic and am thinking of how to up my routine!!!

 

Mostly it's just 2 hours and change. I spend @50 minutes running and stretching, @1+ hours swimming. Lifting is always less than an hour. Running's a challenge...cause I run, not jog. Lifting is a challenge. Swimming is fun (if it's not cold outside!!!), even when I go all out.

 

I rarely look at working out and going to the gym as a chore.

[BikerAccnt]

Here on LS is the only place I've ever heard men saying they like muscular women.

 

 

.

 

 

 

You need to visit more fitness and bodybuilding forums then.

[xxoo]

I'm not saying its true of you personally, but when a woman in good shape hears this type of comment, it starts to sound like sour grapes..

 

Guys get it all the time as well.."Id never want to be big...you cant move"....Or "he must spend his whole life in the gym".......All while they look like Pillsbury Dough Boys....

 

9 out of 10, they'd love to have it, but either they cant or they dont have the will to do what it takes to get there.....so they crap on it..Weakest reasoning in the world..

 

I mean, it cant possibly be because they worked harder, or have better genetics than the next person??...Its kinda exhausting at times..

 

TFY

 

Why is it so difficult to believe that the average woman doesn't WANT to look ripped? I associate it with a masculine look. I'm plenty lean and toned, and try to keep some fat ON so that I can be soft and curvy, too.

[xxoo]

You need to visit more fitness and bodybuilding forums then.

 

 

Another thing I have zero reason to do

[Taramere]

Why is it so difficult to believe that the average woman doesn't WANT to look ripped? I associate it with a masculine look. I'm plenty lean and toned, and try to keep some fat ON so that I can be soft and curvy, too.

 

Right. I did a fair bit of sport in my teens, and in our family we have a tendency to put on muscle quite easily. Getting too muscular has always been something I've wanted to avoid. Certainly as a teen who did eventing, swimming etc competitively, and who did ballet for about 8 years, I was a bit more muscular than I wanted to be.

 

My exercise dream as a teen was to have a body like Jennifer Beals. (Who remembers this??). Toned but without much muscle bulk in evidence. Now, I look at Jennifer Aniston and think that she has got it just right. She's toned, but with enough fat to retain femininity and without so much muscle that she's "bulky" with it. Here's one of those pictures that promotes her whole "yoga, pilates and healthy living" image.

 

I suppose the only thing about that is that it's probably a far harder look to achieve than is the wiry girl in the opening post pic. JA, I think, has the perfect balance of fat and muscle tone to be slim, sleek and toned without being bulky or having a sinewy look about her...but I'm sure the last time I got into one of these ""muscles on women" debates, JA was sneered at by the guys for not being muscular enough. It genuinely is like visiting some parallel universe at times. Like you, I don't think I know any guys outside of LS who would go for the very sinewy look on a woman as opposed to a softer, sleeker look.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Here on LS is the only place I've ever heard men saying they like muscular women.

 

Online forums are one of the few places men can actually at least attempt to be anonymously honest, because if you'd DARE say anything of the sort that even slightly hints to the idea that a woman...the almighty "you should love her the way she is" without criticism whatsoever lest you be called a jerk, loser, unworthy, misogynist, abusive, superficial, shallow, and the list goes on forever but you can say whatever you want about a man without being a bad person...woman.

 

Why in the world would you hear the honest opinions from men? For what incentive? a bashing over the head.

 

Basically here's the current situation.

 

Woman: "I have preferences of course...he should not just have a job, a career he loves, a house, who's handsome, at least 6ft tall, skinny-toned kind of like a surfer with a full head of hair.."

 

Gaggle of women: "Oh there's nothing wrong with that, you have preferences, you deserve the best, you are SO worth it and the guy who is with you should worship you daily and love for you for YOU ARE"

 

Man: "Hi...my name is Peter, I personally just want a woman that cooks, cleans, and isn't umm...let's see how to put this nicely, isn't very...curvy?"

 

Gaggle of women: *faces melting* "YOU SAIIIID WHAAAAT! SOMEBODY HERE HASN'T EVOLVED, YOU KNOW WOMEN ARE A LOT WORTH MORE THAN THAT THESE DAYS...AND YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH PORN! YOU WANT THIS UNREALISTIC UNATTAINABLE SILICONE WOMAN YOU SEEN IN PORN! YOU SHOULD LOVE A WOMAN JUST THE WAY SHE IS, CURVES AND ALL, SHE IS PERFECT JUST THE WAY SHE IS! SHE DOES NOT NEED TO CHANGE FOR YOU JERK FACE! YOU'RE A JERK, SCUM, SHALLOW, MEN LIKE YOU PUT US BACK 50 YEARS...I BET YOU LIVE IN YOUR MOMS BASEMENT, I BET YOU'LL BE LONELY FOREVER WITH THAT KIND OF ATTITUDE...YOU ARE PROBABLY BALDING WITH A BIG BEER BELLY THAT YOU RUB WITH OIL FROM ALL THE CHEESEBURGERS YOU EAT, TRYING TO RELIVE YOUR YOUTH, DATING WOMEN 10 OR 20 YEARS YOUNGER I BET...CAN'T HANDLE A REAL WOMAN WITH THOUGHTS OF HER OWN, YOU'D RATHER HAVE HER IN RAGS SCRUBBING THE FLOOR, THIS IS WHY FEMINISM IS IMPORTANT, THERE'S STILL SO MUCH WORK TO DO...SHE'S GOT SCARS INSIDE AND OUT THANKS TO MEN LIKE YOU AND SOCIETY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT PETER...YOU KNOW WHAT! SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN YOU, YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF HER AND SHE WILL FIND HIM AND BE HAPPY FOREVER AND EVER!"

 

Women will never know, or better yet accept a reality which they do not accept themselves. And if they say if skinny-fit is unattainable then damnit, by all that is holy that's the way it's going to be...in their minds.

 

Lots of women would rather make a laundry list of excuses than to ever simply say "I'm fat or will never get in that shape I want to be in because I simply don't want to work for it, do not have the motivation or the desire...and I wish it just came to me for free and everything i wanted to eat and no matter how lazy i was I looked like a supermodel. It's not because of my genetics, it's not because of my thyroid problems, it's not because I don't have time for the gym...it's simply just a dream I need to keep in order to feel motivated by in order to make myself feel like I'm eventually going to something even though I will not, and if I do, do something then I will likely give up too soon or half-way then pretend to be satisfied with the results...until then I will resent thinner and better looking women, and I will say that I am happy with my body even if I am not, and will subject the man I am with to providing constant praise and reaffirmation in order for me to feel good about myself, and judge him for his behavior, his preferences or whatever else if they have anything to do with anyone or any kind of preference that I do not acquire myself...because even though this isn't really about my body...but how I feel inside, what I deal with inside...I'll never admit the fact or take responsibility for the fact that I am simply failing myself...therefore I will forever blame someone or something else and instead try to change the world until it suits my own needs...regardless of whether that is right or wrong, that is the goal, so that maybe one day women will be happy with themselves...even though in the end, they will not, because there's always something to be jealous about some other b!!!tch over"

 

/THE END.

 

You might as well ask men their "honest opinions and preferences" while standing on a stool, with a noose around their neck, with a woman's leg ready to boot the stool out from underneath him as soon as he says the wrong thing.

 

That's the kind of "honesty" you can expect from men in the real world, you'd have to be a damned fool to be honest as a man....there's no reason to be, whether that's muscular women or just women who are skinny and/or fit.

[MrNate 2.0]

I'm perfectly content with an average lean female body.

 

I don't need all that ripped-ness.

 

 

I want to grab a soft, round ass. Not a rock.

[xxoo]

 

My exercise dream as a teen was to have a body like Jennifer Beals. (Who remembers this??). Toned but without much muscle bulk in evidence. Now, I look at Jennifer Aniston and think that she has got it just right. She's toned, but with enough fat to retain femininity and without so much muscle that she's "bulky" with it. Here's one of those pictures that promotes her whole "yoga, pilates and healthy living" image.

 

I suppose the only thing about that is that it's probably a far harder look to achieve than is the wiry girl in the opening post pic. JA, I think, has the perfect balance of fat and muscle tone to be slim, sleek and toned without being bulky or having a sinewy look about her...but I'm sure the last time I got into one of these ""muscles on women" debates, JA was sneered at by the guys for not being muscular enough. It genuinely is like visiting some parallel universe at times. Like you, I don't think I know any guys outside of LS who would go for the very sinewy look on a woman as opposed to a softer, sleeker look.

 

Jennifer Beals looked amazing still in The L Word. Gorgeous woman, my goodness.

 

And Jennifer Aniston is a good example of ideal. I'm a body twin for Courtney Cox, and I'm happy with that

 

 

Why in the world would you hear the honest opinions from men? For what incentive? a bashing over the head.

 

Even online, MOST men don't say they want a muscular woman. Slim/curvy, yes. Clearly. Slim hips with ripped abs and muscular arms? Not so much.

[thefooloftheyear]

Why is it so difficult to believe that the average woman doesn't WANT to look ripped? I associate it with a masculine look. I'm plenty lean and toned, and try to keep some fat ON so that I can be soft and curvy, too.

 

 

No argument....Heck, I even "ripped" the look of both models pictured in the OP...But is it so difficult to believe some women just use that "soft and curvy" logic to justify that they just dont have what it takes to get the type of body that they really want??...Is that such a reach??

 

Im not a trainer, but I have helped lots of women with their fitness goals..No, they dont want to be jacked up, but 100% say that they want to be more muscular.....and less "soft"....100%....

 

And I have to take issue with your comment on the fact that only on LS do guys like muscular women...Show a video like this to any guy from LoveShack, Shake Shack, Burger Shack, Radio Shack, whatever and they'll be happy to tell you what they think....

 

 

 

 

TFY

[Taramere]

Jennifer Beals looked amazing still in The L Word. Gorgeous woman, my goodness.

 

And Jennifer Aniston is a good example of ideal. I'm a body twin for Courtney Cox, and I'm happy with that

 

 

 

Even online, MOST men don't say they want a muscular woman. Slim/curvy, yes. Clearly. Slim hips with ripped abs and muscular arms? Not so much.

 

Yes, I was curious about that. They don't exactly hold back on places like Reddit.

 

I think a lot of men on LS are convinced that all the women on here are built like Wildebeest - hence the overkill on the entire gym thing. I've got a friend from here (LS that is, he lives in NYC) whose first words to me, when we met, were related to me not being fat. He just expected me to be fat...and to be honest, I knew he would.

 

I deliberately didn't send a picture in advance. Partly because I'm camera shy but also because I wanted to give him a good few nightmares in advance about being seen out and about with a great big Scottish beached whale. One who would be cramming deep fried mars bars down her throat in between curses and glugs of Carlsberg Special Brew. And complaining about walking. "Och me, the inners o' ma thighs are chafin' together like bastards. Ah'm no used tae a' this walkin' aroond the place. Pech!"

[Imajerk17]

I as a guy keep getting surprised by how many women have "body-confidence" issues. If women only knew what men really found attractive though.

 

I tend to like curvy-athletic. I have approached plenty of women who have "a few extra pounds" on them. Why? There was something about them that I found attractive. There was just something feminine about them.

 

I have a friend who prefers slender-petite.

 

My point is, don't beat yourself up just because you were born with big bones and curves or if you were born short. Many men don't even want a woman who looks like she belongs in SI's Swimsuit issue just as men other men DO. Just have women have different "types" of guys they prefer so do guys. Just make the most of what you have.

[xxoo]

I want to grab a soft, round ass. Not a rock.

 

My H says the same thing. Actually, what he says is he wants to grab a woman's butt, not a man's butt Soft!

[BikerAccnt]

My H says the same thing. Actually, what he says is he wants to grab a woman's butt, not a man's butt Soft!

 

Looking at the shape of most men these days, almost any butt someone grabs is gonna be soft. Sad to say.

[MidwestUSA]

Looking at the shape of most men these days, almost any butt someone grabs is gonna be soft. Sad to say.

 

If a girl gets really lucky, he'll have boobs too!

[Els]

I think a lot of men on LS are convinced that all the women on here are built like Wildebeest - hence the overkill on the entire gym thing. I've got a friend from here (LS that is, he lives in NYC) whose first words to me, when we met, were related to me not being fat. He just expected me to be fat...and to be honest, I knew he would.

 

I deliberately didn't send a picture in advance. Partly because I'm camera shy but also because I wanted to give him a good few nightmares in advance about being seen out and about with a great big Scottish beached whale. One who would be cramming deep fried mars bars down her throat in between curses and glugs of Carlsberg Special Brew. And complaining about walking. "Och me, the inners o' ma thighs are chafin' together like bastards. Ah'm no used tae a' this walkin' aroond the place. Pech!"

 

 

 

Right, I've noticed that some people here believe in a really odd false dichotomy. Either you're in support of fat-shaming, airbrushed and dehydrated models, counting every last calorie, working out like it's your full-time job and staying at the body fat % of an Olympian athlete... or you must be 300 lbs and immobile with your diet consisting solely of Big Macs, french fries, donuts and soda.

 

It's like they don't even know what 'balance' means anymore.

[Els]

Instead of aiming for the look, one should aim for the health and that is mostly towards an 15 to 18% body fat percentage with women, and 12 to 16% with men, give or take. And whatever you look like, that is going to be a bonus.

 

If you actually read body fat guidelines written by medical professionals, you would know that this is not true. In fact, you are quite a bit off:

 

From emedicine: http://www.emedicinehealth.com/estimating_body_fat_percentage-health/article_em.htm

 

Experts differ in their opinions about what is a healthy percentage of body fat. In general, 10% to 25% body fat is considered healthy in an adult man, and 18% to 32% body fat is considered healthy in an adult woman. Above or below this level is usually considered unhealthy and could put you at risk for health problems.

[kaylan]

Its unrealistic for most Americans, given our sedentary society.

 

That said, find a girl whos dedicated and likes working out, and its not unrealistic to reach the slim fit body with a good diet and hard work in the gym.

 

Despite what some may think, lifting weights and getting a body thats fit like the OPs first pic, does not come from under-eating. When I was in the gym a lot, and lifting 4 days a week, I needed 3000 plus calories a day to maintain a swimmer's physique (lean, somewhat musclar, very toned)

[TigerLilly78]

Neither of those women look attractive to me and not much of a difference just the one has more muscle..

[Ninjainpajamas]

Even online, MOST men don't say they want a muscular woman. Slim/curvy, yes. Clearly. Slim hips with ripped abs and muscular arms? Not so much.

 

It's not just about muscular women, it's about preferences, it's about options.

 

Most men aren't going to say they want a Victoria Secret model if the reality is they NEVER run into a Victoria Secret model nor would ever have a chance in the world of actually being with her.

 

For men there's a world of preference in the "real world" and then there's that other world, that "fantasy world" or porn and women online that they could never hope to get...they don't adjust their standard to that level, it's impossible for most men to attain..."average" is difficult enough for men to attain, let alone smoking hot gym girl who's so desirable being "skinny-fit" that the majority of men would lick the drops of sweat falling from her @ss.

 

But oh, the guys on "LS" and your husband or boyfriend says this....VERY CONVINCING, said no man ever. And then LS is a place of perverts and losers when they're comments are undesirable but they are suddenly a wonderful representation of the male population (all 5 of them) because they said they like the same preference as me....hmm, I wonder why a man would state his preference as flexible or adjusted to what he feels most women would approve of...hmm, rocket science there.

 

If you want to see what type of women men prefer, then simply go to theChive or to male dominated forums, where men are throwing up pictures left and right of attractive women and commenting on what they like without worrying about being outnumbered by the the hens.

 

You will not see "curvy" unless she's really "thick in the right places"...you don't see many "average" women there...you see the same girls on porn that most men wank over...even your husband and your BF, while at the same time of course...telling you he prefers something else in real life.

 

Men's "preferences" are adjusted by the "real-life-curve" once they're back to reality...I guarantee you most of the guys would not turn down "skinny-fit" girl if she approached him in real life (which she never would), but if she did, you're a damned fool if you think he's going to turn her down because she's too skinny and fit...that's just what they say on here.

[guest569]

I dont really care what a guys body is like, as long as he is not obese or very overweight. My exes were both superskinny, and put on a tiny bit of muscle with workouts. You can call it "sour grapes" but I wouldn't want to date a man with strict requirements or expectations on my body type or workout routine. I would find it a bit odd. I'm not a full time paid fitness model. I dont want to be one, i dont want to look like one.

[WonderKid]

"Skinny Fit" lmao first time I heard of that one

[Taramere]

Rant

 

The bottom line is that even if one million men put forth a petition saying that the girl depicted in the opening post is what they all want and wank over, if women think she's just a touch too manly looking then they're not going to aspire to look like her.

 

Quick google of this "Chive" thing you talked about - lots of images of very attractive girls. None of whom look overworked and sinewy in the way that the girl in the opening post of this thread does. Also, most of those girls are young (late teens to mid twenties). So I can't help wondering if your ranting post and exhortations for women on this forum to go and see what their H's and boyfriend's are masturbating over is just a bit of unpleasantness on your part. Older women can certainly be in shape, but they can't look like the girls in those pics.

 

And this, again, is a good reason for women to avoid getting too heavily immersed in gym culture. Traditionally gyms haven't been the most woman-friendly of environments - and while on the face of it some things have changed, the kind of posts I'm reading on here might indicate plus ça change. The notion that even if you're attending the gym, you're being sneered at by the "serious gym goers" who don't approve of your work-out choices or your age or whatever else doesn't exactly create an environment most people are going to want to spend much time in.

 

Go in, have your work-out, shower and leave. That's fine. It's good to keep in shape, but it's also good to keep things in perspective. "Getting more ripped" might feel like an important accomplishment to you - but at the end of the day, you're not putting the finishing touches to a Sonata, or a Michelin starred meal, or playing the winning shot in a sport or finding a cure for cancer. You're picking up a few dumb bells and running on a treadmill.

 

And while you're railing about the inadequacy of other human beings who lead moderately adequate lifestyles and are in a healthy weight range, but who don't share your obsession with getting ripped, contemplate the ever greater numbers of people who are not just falling off the scale of what's normal and healthy, but actually becoming morbidly obese?

 

What's causing that? Lack of moderation? Lack of balance? Failure to grasp, due to a lack of suitable role models, that it's possible to be a healthy, slim and active person without turning into a gym bore?

 

Right, I've noticed that some people here believe in a really odd false dichotomy. Either you're in support of fat-shaming, airbrushed and dehydrated models, counting every last calorie, working out like it's your full-time job and staying at the body fat % of an Olympian athlete... or you must be 300 lbs and immobile with your diet consisting solely of Big Macs, french fries, donuts and soda.

 

It's like they don't even know what 'balance' means anymore.

 

Exactly. It's two sides of the same coin. I've found that the people who are most zealous and preachy about this stuff usually have either been obese themselves at some point, or have obese people in their family and feel compelled to put as much distance between themselves and the spectre of obesity as possible.

 

The French have the art of balance mastered very well. That's not just some cliche. You go there, and the food is delicious but the helpings moderately sized. People walk. They cycle. Not many people have a gym membership, and jogging isn't so popular either. Yet they're among the slimmest Europeans, and they live relatively long and health lives. They understand balance and the art of living well....even those who don't have very much money. I think there's a lot to be learned from them.

Edited January 23, 2015 by Taramere

[Emilia]

And this, again, is a good reason for women to avoid getting too heavily immersed in gym culture. Traditionally gyms haven't been the most woman-friendly of environments - and while on the face of it some things have changed, the kind of posts I'm reading on here might indicate plus ça change. The notion that even if you're attending the gym, you're being sneered at by the "serious gym goers" who don't approve of your work-out choices or your age or whatever else doesn't exactly create an environment most people are going to want to spend much time in.

I admit I'm guilty of the bolded part but generally keep away from the culture as much as I can as it's very twisted. It's more the 'reddit' and body building type websites. Very different from your average bunch of people that go socialising on a Friday after work. Far too freaky too.

 

at this day and age with so much information bombarding you, you need to have your boundaries and separate the BS of the minority from the normality of how most people live. The noisiest are often the weirdest because they want to create this weird fantasy world and recruite lots of others into it.

 

Generally it's smart to avoid getting involved in any scene too heavily, just take a little bit from here and a little bit from there that's how you remain well rounded and this is how you attract well rounded people too.

 

Gym freaks often have no other interests and you have to wonder why...