spanishchick00 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I was wondering how many messages guys get on OLD on a weekly basis. Let's say..okcupid. Now, I know there are more guys than girls on OLD. Do you get alot of responses? Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 It's a function of how well you present yourself really and as a guy it is probably more important than for a woman. I'll give 2 examples. I put not that much effort into mine when i did it and i got a couple of messages in 2 months. I don't have salesmanship/showmanship when it concerns me ... i don't know how to sell well the idea of 'me'. OTOH i know a guy who is somewhat of a player and aimed his entire profile towards DHV [diplays of high value] that are somewhat subtle without really being invisible [good clothes good style good background on pictures; pictures in various interesting places etc ...]. He gets contacts especially after visiting the pages of other women [and sometimes commenting] so in a way that is his message ... he tries to appear in their regular path. He has good success but it is dependent of him initiating in that way. If he doesn't initiate and the profile does not appear someplace he doesn't get contacted; from what he told me and what i've seen women don't do searches/queries unless the # of women is much greater than the # of men ... which is impossible in online dating. Hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) I was wondering how many messages guys get on OLD on a weekly basis. Let's say..okcupid. Now, I know there are more guys than girls on OLD. Do you get alot of responses? How many messages/responses do I get in response to messages I send first? Or how many women message me unsolicited? I have gotten zero unsolicited messages, but I had expected that. That seems to be the norm for guys average and below. http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/ Edited January 17, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 1 unsolicited message in about 4 months on OK cupid. I dont even get any profile views anymore - as the poster above says because women rarely have to search for guys most guys will be invsible on OLD unless they put some real leg work into it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 How many messages/responses do I get in response to messages I send first? Or how many women message me unsolicited? I have gotten zero unsolicited messages, but I had expected that. That seems to be the norm for guys average and below. Cupid on Trial: A 4-month Online Dating Experiment | Jon Millward - Blog Yeah, it's funny how she asked if it was unsolicited...we men have a hard time getting responses from emails we send to THEM. Much less unsolicited. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Yeah, it's funny how she asked if it was unsolicited...we men have a hard time getting responses from emails we send to THEM. Much less unsolicited. Oh yea. When I signed up, I didn't even start to think that a woman would message me first, going from what I heard about OLD. I am aware some guys do get unsolicited messages relatively often, but I knew that wouldn't be me. Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I got 2-3 "real" ones about every other day, but I was only on for 3 months. I used Match and had good results. Some were just "hi" which I ignored. The ones that actually tried to start a conversation I always replied to. I think guys on this site that have problems should move here! Women everywhere that are interested in dating or fwb. I was amazed after my seperation at the number of available women in this area. Made things much easier Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) I got 2-3 "real" ones about every other day, but I was only on for 3 months. I used Match and had good results. Some were just "hi" which I ignored. The ones that actually tried to start a conversation I always replied to. I think guys on this site that have problems should move here! Women everywhere that are interested in dating or fwb. I was amazed after my seperation at the number of available women in this area. Made things much easier I doubt it's that. You must be quite good looking. For some reason, men on here will never admit they are good looking. But if you got several messages a week, there is no question. Guys always say, "I get responses and you get none because your profile and pics suck." My profile and pics do not suck. The pics were handpicked by a woman and the profile is decent. Edited January 17, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I doubt it's that. You must be quite good looking. For some reason, men on here will never admit they are good looking. But if you got several messages a week, there is no question. Guys always say, "I get responses and you get none because your profile and pics suck." My profile and pics do not suck. The pics were handpicked by a woman and the profile is decent. Right, then they throw out that platitude, "Well, if your profile didn't suck, you'd get responses." Then this tired argument will just wind up going in circles. It's analogous to the "chicken or egg" argument. Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I'm nothing special JJS. My single guy friends have had the same experience. Southeastern US is full of single women and most are easily approachable. It may have to do with the age group also. 35-45 yr old women aren't afraid of dating. They've usually seen and heard it all by then. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I'm nothing special JJS. My single guy friends have had the same experience. Southeastern US is full of single women and most are easily approachable. It may have to do with the age group also. 35-45 yr old women aren't afraid of dating. They've usually seen and heard it all by then. What is your race and height? That is also my age group. It is also possible that you are average and I am hideous. However, you come on here and say that you get tons of unsolicited messages and I get none. So, people are going to say, "Well, JJS (and others), it must be your fault because your profile sucks." I mean I'm happy for you. I'm just saying. It doesn't work that way. In fact, I would say moving to where you are would be even worse (for me) because it's less diverse down there. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 My honest profile: 0.8% Response Rate to Initial Messages 3 Unsolicited Messages in 3 Years My profile with income set to $150,000+: 15% Response Rate to Initial Messages 17 Unsolicited Messages in 2 Weeks My profile with race set to Hispanic: 5% Response Rate to Initial Messages 2 Unsolicited Messages in 2 Weeks My profile with race set to White and all pictures removed: No messages sent 7 Unsolicited Messages in 2 Weeks Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I'm nothing special JJS. My single guy friends have had the same experience. Southeastern US is full of single women and most are easily approachable. It may have to do with the age group also. 35-45 yr old women aren't afraid of dating. They've usually seen and heard it all by then. My expectation is that the 40+ bracket would message more because they are less likely to be hit on on by guys who are all going for the early 30s or less girls. As women age I think the advantage swings towards men on OLD. I suspect there are also less games being played in that age bracket, interactions are probably a lot simpler. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Caucasion, 5'10" and it's very diverse here,although there are very few Asian, comparatively. It's not the stereotypical "south",although there are certain areas that could be labeled as such. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Right, then they throw out that platitude, "Well, if your profile didn't suck, you'd get responses." Then this tired argument will just wind up going in circles. It's analogous to the "chicken or egg" argument. Oh thats just the usual circle the wagons nonsense. I notice women on here positively reinforce a lot when giving dating advice to other women yet men get dealt tough love- its always something wrong with him. I mean granted, there are bound to be problems with people's profiles here and there but when you scour the internet and read the thousands on thousands of complaints from men that they never get responses its just too trite to dismiss them out of hand by saying that ALL of them have poor pics and profiles or are messaging out of their league (which is what they would be told on here). Sooner or later it becomes a case that there is nothing wrong with you - its the system itself that is letting both sexes down. For a start the likes of OKC should be tackling spam which from anecdotal evidence on here seems to be as much a reason as your pics why your message didnt get a response. There is also too much complaining about lack of genuine guys - im a genuine guy and have never sent a dick pic or sexually propositioned anyone ever, just as it sounds like most guys on here are, so we are out there, women just concentrate on the negative aspects of OLD and then throw their hands up in the air after a day and flounce off and close their account because they cant take so many messages, then they come on here and instead of being told to grow a pair like the men have to they get sweet nothings whispered to them while the men get patronised. Just sayin'! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 My expectation is that the 40+ bracket would message more because they are less likely to be hit on on by guys who are all going for the early 30s or less girls. As women age I think the advantage swings towards men on OLD. I suspect there are also less games being played in that age bracket, interactions are probably a lot simpler. Bolded ... I wouldn't go that far. Definitely rougher in your 20s though. No question. Not just online, but in general. But then again, the pool is so much larger. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 On OKCupid it usually goes in spurts as I'm not always logging in. I'll go a few months with no messages, then when I'm online, I'll get a one every couple of weeks or so (on average). Not particularly frequent recently but it's something. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 What I do is update my profile pretty frequently and "boost" or "promote" it during peak traffic hours when I know girls are at home looking at their computer, usually weeknights 10-12 pm. By doing that I'll get 0-5 messages and 10-15 "likes" a night. But I live in NYC, so there's that to consider. Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 (edited) In a year... - Got 2 unsolicited messages. - Sent hundreds of msgs. Got 1 response. - Added them on fb. Never got to actually meet them. Deleted them. That makes an average of 0.057 msgs per week. Being a guy, this is considered a high number afaik. Edited January 18, 2015 by WomenWubber Link to post Share on other sites
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